cut down on Xmas for sure. You said you save that extra off-time for xmas money. What if you skipped gifts this year? Or just bought $10 for each kid? Had a "Dollar Store" christmas? Or drew names and let them each spend $10 total on their siblings? We spend very little every christmas. Don't know a dollar amount, but it's small. I don't think I buyanything for my son (grandparents and B&SIL get him plenty of stuff).
I think $400-500 for your size family sounds about reasonable for your size family - assume this includes laundry detergent, soaps, deoderants, etc. I don't buy makeup. I "splurge" with a $4 nail polish. Plus I use up old stuff I've had around for years to use it up instead of throw it out. So I'd like a new perfume. Mine ran out a few months ago. But I am using up the other scent I have first, before buying a new $50 perfume I want. I can probably ask for it for Xmas and my parents will get it.
Cut out impulse buys - cookies, ice cream, potato chips, cheetoes, new dvds. We haven't bought a DVD in years. We use the local library (it has a lot of new movies), netflix streaming (more for the kiddo), hulu (for my tv shows), and occasionally use Redbox for a new release. We also try not to keep junk food at home (healthy, and keeps cost down). I used to drink a soda a day. But now I'm down to one or two a week. Water (Brita filtered) and coffee is the only other expense. If I want cookies, I make them. I have flour sugar and chocolate chips on hand.
I don't clip coupons really, either. I use the store coupons if it's something I would have actually bought anyways (like they had a deal on sausage last week. Bought extra b/c it freezes well and we use it often.) I buy store brand a lot of the time (laundry soap, toilet paper, oatmeal, cereal, flour, sugar, spices, etc). I skip aisles I don't need to go down (I keep a list. If it's not on the list, I don't go down that aisle.) Helps keep me from buying impulse buys. Plus it makes my trip shorter. :)
What do y'all do for fun ? We don't go to the zoo, don't go to the movies (in 5 years with my husband we've never been except the one time my FIL paid), we don't go out to eat either, which I see you guys don't either. We play outside instead, bring out the balls or bubbles and make our own fun. We go for walks, feed the deer, catch bugs, etc. We spend very little on family outings and toys. And I never pass up hand-me-downs. I look for deals at Garage sales and thrift stores. I keep a list in my purse of such items I need and browse for them when I make it to a garage sale or thrift store.
Hope some of this helps!