All I can say is that daughters do have an extra special way of rubbing Mommy the wrong way. You'll see this behavior again when she approaches 6* (firsthand experience), 13** (friends have told me this one), and 15 (what I remember being a teen). I know quite a few parents who have teens and young adults who stay glued to their cell phones texting messages to them because the youth feel like adults, yet still make uninformed choices. Parenting is quite a job. It gets really interesting when they turn 11, and they start sharing with you the things they encounter. Ugh! Anyway, be patient and try to throw in some quality time to build a strong relationship. You will need that foundation when she needs to talk to you about those serious issues of life. This is a period of development, most likely, in which she is trying to assert her "independence". You can take advantage of this newfound independence by adding responsibilities to her schedule to acknowledge her new "big girl" status and teach her that her rebellious behavior is not reflecting her new "big girl" status. Of course, depending on the crime, you may still have to use various corrective measures you mentioned in your email. Just make sure not to use any one too much, as it can lose impact. There's a fine line in using reverse psychology, corporal punishment, teaching, and positive reinforcement, all of which I believe is the true art of parenting. Behavior charts are great, and help the child monitor his/her own behavior. She can put a star in an area if she managed to accomplish a task with a correct attitude. And, I can't stress enough the importance of having positive experiences, like baking together, reading together, drawing or painting together, etc. Even in our marriages, that is important. I believe a minister once called it making positive deposits into one's emotional bank account. Also, read the book "1-2-3 Magic" by Dr. Thomas W. Phelan for more ideas on changing negative behavior.