HELP! Birthday Advice

Yes, Potluck would be tacky for a b'day party.
Just do Costco Pizza and salad or something simple and easy. No one expects a catered meal.

I see nothing wrong with a potluck birthday party. You buy the cake, plates, forks, etc. and ask each person to bring something. You could leave the choice up to them or give them a list of things you need and ask them to choose one. My family does it and it makes things so much easier.

It is okay to ask family to bring a dish to share at the birthday party. My family usually asks so it is easier for me. I also find that family is more aware of our situation and are happy to pitch in to make the party a memorable one. Good luck!

i would only ask family to help out not friends.... unless they offer.
what i did with my daughter 2nd bday (that was in march) was had it at the park. my family promised to help me but didnt so i emprovised. i did a subs for her bday lunch and found out by adding it up that it would be just as much to get 5 1ft subs as it would to get the super sub thats 3ft (from stater bros) and i had them cut it for me. then i did a fruit and vegie tray (i went to the fruit market instead of a grocery store). i had a few bags of chips with one dip to go with the tortilla chips and i made a fruit dip to go with the fruit (jet puff and strawberry cream cheese). then i got 12pks of soda that were on sale and a 24pk of water and juice boxes for the kids. all the decorations i got were from the dollar store and i got the favors for the kids at party city (bulk bags).
in the loot bags were- star glasses, clapper hands, twisty straws, a color page that went with her bday theme, little bottle of bubbles, a noise maker and a balloon. this way it was good for all ages babies to older kids.
we had the party at a park so i didnt have games. i bought a little bubble machine from target (it was like 10 bucks) and the kids loved it!
as for cake mine was very expensive because we had it allergy friendly and low sugar (we had a little girl with food allergies at the party i didnt want her to not to have cake lol). but anyways we had a cupcake cake. to save money maybe make it yourself. a cupcake cake is good for little kid parties because you dont have to worry about the size because they are already portioned! then you can have some chocholate, white or carrot cake. also you can make your son his own cupcake thats different from the others.
also another thing i did was started buying things early... i had all her decorations bought about a month before her bday. then the week of i bought all the food and made my needed orders. i also booked the place at the park about a month early also.

Darn straight, do a potluck. ESPECIALLY since it's family. :) :) :)

For the playgroup, you could have it read along the lines of
"2 year old b-day potluck! No gifts, just your lovely charming selves...something to eat or drink...and partying the way only a toddler knows how!"

We do potluck BBQ's & Potluck B-for-D all the time. Breakfast for dinner tends to be a lot less expensive. We'll usually either provide pancakes or belgian waffles by the dozen, and then a whole ton of sausage links. Then everything else is golden.

Since we also have such a large family, we're changing things around b-day wise. This year, on the invitation to friends we're changing it to a book & watergun exchange. Bring a book and a water gun and take one home. We're also pushing the "used" book thing. It's hard this year for nearly everyone. Hopefully this way, it'll make it a little easier on the guests...and quite frankly...we aren't swamped with gifts. He doesn't need them. He'll get them from family, anyway. What he really wants is cake and singing and all his pals causing mayhem.

I am totally agree with the two responses, we were invited to birthday party that start at 2.00-4.00 at the park, the birthday parents arranged fun activities, like racing with eggs on the spoon, throwing bowling ball to the pins, pins donkey's tail .. the kids have so much fun, and at 3.30 we were gathering to blow the candles and eat the cake .. that's it, the birthday parents just supply chips and drinks and of course cake! It was a blast .. :)

Hi TF
Have family members do the potluck. In my case I am not comfortable asking my friends to bring food at the party! For invitations, you can go to evite.com and send out electronic invitations for free. That is what I did to save some money on postage and printing invitation cards. Go to 99 cents store to get your decorations. When my son turned 2 I spent about 80 dollars and my son had a blast!

That's a tough one. Personally me, I just wouldn't be able to do that (the potluck thing). I'd like the idea in my head, but I wouldn't be able to bring myself into asking the guests for it. Now, in my family, the in-laws and my parents will always ask if I need help with anything. So I answer Sure! and start assigning specific things (cake, drinks, plates, fruit bowl). That's how we manage. We always do hamburgers and dogs. So perhaps that is how you can approach it too.

Now you can understand why most of my friends have stopped throwing birthday parties altogether but just take the kid to Disneyland instead. :/ Less expensive and less hassle!
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I just read the other responses and I wanted to add one thing. My husband's family is hispanic and it would never pass to just do cake and ice cream and snacks no matter what time of day. Parties are for food. My guests would be very disappointed and grumbly if there was nothing of substance to eat. My side is "white" I guess you could say and in my culture a cake and ice cream party is perfectly legit. But now that I've been to all of these rockin' parties on my husband's side I've sort of changed on that. When I go to a party, I'm really disappointed if there is no food!

I think your idea of a potluck birthday party is an awesome one, especially if most of the people coming are family. They should understand your current situation. Also, I'm sure your child does not need 30 gifts. So I would ask the grandparents to pitch in some money to get a bounce house delivered (only if your child likes to jump of course) or something similar that he and the other children might enjoy.. a balloon person, etc. Good Luck!

Totally go with the potluck. I even did this with my friends and kids when my daughter turned 3. I was highly pregnant, and wanted to have something that was special for her. My friends each volunteered to bring food. I made cupcakes, Chloe's had blue frosting, all others white. We went to a playground and had a picnic decorated with balloons, each child decorated their own cupcake with various sprinkles & candies and I brought some other little hide and seek the toy games. My daughter recalled years later "I loved my 3 birthday party at the playground - I remember that I had a blue cupcake!" Just have the family, have some open ended crafts and playdough, or sandbox with buried toys and call it a party!

It's tacky depending on the family. I suggest a party at a nice park and ask the closer family members, (grandparents, godparents, your best friend, etc) to bring a dish to help out if they could. They should be cool with it. How many kids in your family? If there is a lot like mine, what I did was rent a simple bouncer and it occupied them (and the younger adults) for hours. Instead of hiring a "bubble guy", I researched about bubbles and did my own quick teaching session about bubbles and how to use all the bubble makers i bought and the kids made bubbles ontheir own. I wasn't as good as the professional to make a bubble surround the child but it was entertaining nonetheless. i also made my own small cake(the easy cake mix for the adults) and had the kids decorate their own mini-cake / cupcakes that they ate with pride. Depending how young-at-heart the grownups are in your family, these activities can double up for them as well.

I think it's a great idea! I suggested it to one of my friends once who was in the same situation as you and she said that she "felt bad" for asking people to bring food - so I told her to write on the invitation that "instead" of a gift bring a dish. She did, and most people brought a gift anyways, but she felt better knowing she wasn't "asking for too much" Have fun ;)
PS- I don't know if you have friends/family of many different nationalities, but if you do this could be a neat idea... Once, my small mom's group did a potluck where you had to bring a dish that represented your nationality or a special "secret family recipe". So for example, my Japanese friend brought sushi, my filipino friend brought Lumpia, my "all american" friend from texas brought chilli, etc, etc.. It was a really cool "melting pot" kind of pot luck! ;)

Depends on who you ask. I wouldn't be comfortable asking people to bring food. You CAN do this on a budget. Make it a time of the day where a meal isn't expected. 1-3 means (you better have already had lunch) 3-5 means - you'll get out of here in time for dinner. You could just do cupcakes and ice cream (nothing else is expected unless your party is during a meal time). Than if you want you could do tortilla chips and a variety of salsa's and an avocado dip, or some Ruffles with ranch dip and or a veggie tray - keep it simple, everyone is on a budget. Healthy snacks for the kids to grab on their way out for the ride home is always a good idea and you could do this rather than junky toys that are going to break anyway.
Best wishes whatever you decide!
M.

I am always sure to be specific on the invitation. I say, "Please join us in a picnic lunch to celebrate..." so the guest know to expect lunch. You can very easily do the same thing with cake and ice cream.

We celebrate all of our birthday parties potluck style. In fact, there probably isn't a party I go to that I don't ask what I can bring to help. I would say keep the potluck requests to the family.

There is nothing wrong with cupcakes/cake and ice-cream. I mean, that's all I remember about birthday parties from my childhood. Nowadays kids parties have turned into something else. Potluck probably isn't a good idea for your childs birthday party. Potluck is best for holiday parties or group get togethers. Unless you are asking family to help, and they are OK with that, then go for it. The best way to go about not serving a meal is the time of day. Make the party at say 2-4pm and just do cake. People shouldn't expect a meal then. And your invite could even say something like "Come for cake and ice-cream" or "Michael's turning two, we've got the games (balloons/bouncehouse etc.) and cupcakes, now all we need is YOU". Good luck!

Why not just have cake, coffee, and some fresh fruit? We have a huge family as well, and that is what we do and it always works out great! Besides a 2 year old doesn't usually last an entire birthday......they get tired quick! LOL

Good Luck

I completely agree with Melissa. Everything she said makes sense. I would have the party at an off time (like from 2pm - 4pm) so people know that you won't be having a meal. Then just provide light snacks, drinks and cake. If you have the party at a park, it is usually free and then you don't have to worry about the kids needing any entertainment! If anyone asks you if they can bring anything to help you out, definitely take them up on it.

First off, congratulations on being a (currently) SAH Mom! I know how much you do without to make sure you have this time with your little one! As for the potluck idea, I think it's wonderful especially for family. In fact, because they're family they'll probably be pleased to help with the festivities and feel a part of the day! If you opt not to have a potluck, I agree with other moms that a party NOT during a meal time can be loads of fun. Good luck and happy planning!

at our house we have a friends over party with pizza movies popcorn (with boys i would do a backyard camp out) and then usually on the actual bday family comes. twice the fun.

Hi! I think the idea of a potluck is a bit tacky...however I do think you could ask some of the relatives you are closer too if they would mind bringing something. You could say "We're having his birthday party next month and everybody loves you __________, would you mind making it for the party? I know it would be a big hit!" That could help keep down the costs. Another option would be to hold the party at an off time, either mid-morning (right after breakfast) or mid-afternoon (right after lunch) and then you would only need to provide drinks, light snacks and cake.

I would feel comfortable asking close family members to help with food. I also agree with Melissa's suggestion. I also agree with having the party like 2-4pm. People won't expect a meal and you can make some buffet/snack type foods that won't be too expensive. For example,
- pasta salad (boxes of pasta, italian dressing, some onions, olives, veggies cut up and mixed with it)
- veggie tray and dip (making your own is much cheaper than buying a ready made one- grape tomatoes, baby carrots, celery, brocolli, cauliflower, sugar snap peas)
- hummus dip and crackers or pita chips
- chips and salsa, etc
- if you have a costco membership, get a couple bags of the trail mix or rice crackers and put some bowls of it out.
all of the above can be prepared ahead of time too.

If it's family they should be accomodating. I would plan a menu and print recipes and ask certain people to bring certain dishes. Maybe not all 30 people, but the ones you are closest to. Or if you want to provide the whole thing yourself, make it just cake and punch. You can get a cake mix for a dollar, borrow some extra cake pans, and make four or five cakes, and have the kids help frost them. A couple of balloons, streamers, and voila! Festive party. Your two year old will not care or notice if you don't have typical party favors or entertainment. When my boys were little, I bought solid color (navy blue, etc.) cloth table cloths, and a length of clear plastic from the fabric store, and on top of the cloth (but under the plastic), I would sprinkle birthday confetti and some characters from their current favorite, Toy Story, A bug's Life, Aladin, whatever the current rage was. You can get the pictures from gift wrap, or other decorations that are meant to hang up, just separate them and put them under the clear table cloth. I used cheap solid color paper plates, or just our own desert plates. That way I did not have to spend a lot of money on themed decorations and tableware each year. Now that I have a girl, I bought a Princess shower curtain in pinks and purples that provides the under cloth, and I still use the clear cloth on the top.

I think the issue really is that sometimes people plan a party around a meal time and then everyone gets grumpy because of no food and they are hungry. The party is for your kid though so center it around him. Are there going to be lots of kids. Maybe then you do food becaue they will spend time playing with friends. When my first turned one there were only 2 other kids in the family and they were both under 2. So I just did cupcakes at the park. the party was 2p-4p. Just put on the invite "cupcakes served" so people will understand that there is no meal. We ended up doing dinner afterward with one of our "couple" friends so we could hang out longer. It was really not a big deal. Have fun!