Please, please can someone, somewhere help me!! I've gone above and beyond the call of motherhood for this boy. He has captured a hold on to the "thug" life in all his ways and behavior. I've always tried to be realistic with all my children. Because in this day and age, if you don't tell them somebody, somewhere will!!! He lies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This boy even lies in his sleep. He steals, you can't leave anything around. He also is a sexual predator, i almost lost my babies because of him. It's always somebody else's fault for why he's in trouble. My husband refuses to deal with him at all. Because he said he'll end up during a life sentence for breaking his neck and completely separating his head from the rest of his body!! So, he's out of it. At night he's locked in that part of the house because we're in fear of what he may do while we are asleep. I even had a horrible nightmare that i awoke to him trying to come into my bedroom in the middle of the night. He has lied on me and said that i don't take care of him, feed him, or buy him any clothes or shoes. He has gone to our church and lied about things that have never happened or never has been said. Everyone keeps patting him and believing him!! He actually thinks it funny that he's a great munipulator and con artist!!! I've called and wriiten and begged for help and assistance with him no one will help him and noone will help me. I'm so afraid he's going to get murdered on these mean chicago southside streets. I love him, but what's love got to do with it, is how i feel now. He doesn't care about any of us sometimes he acts like he's the spawn of satn!!! Please, please help!!!! I've been put down and blamed enough!!!!!
He's a sociopath:
http://www.psychological.com/april_01_newsletter.htm
The hospital you want is:
http://www.psysolutions.com/facilities/riveredge/index.html
My mom got help for my brother through here. It took years, and learning to let go and let things take their course, though... He went through a rough, rough time, but in the end, he's now a healthy working adult. It was a long long road, though.
good luck.
My husband is a CPD cop and he says that there is a place on the westside that helps troubled kids. He says that when they have trouble kids they take them to RIVERS EDGE 8311 W Roosevelt rd. He says after going there they never see these troublemakers again because they straighten them up. I hope this helps. I don't know what else to say. I will pray for you and your family. As a nurse I know that sometimes nature rules over nurture. If there is nothing else you can do, seek help. Try this place!!!
W. I am definitely praying for you & your entire family. I can relate to your situation. I have teenaged girls, two boys & a 21 year old son who acts like a teenager. You are not alone. We have to stay in prayer & release the burden to The Lord. On the practical side, you alone cannot get a handle on your son. Your husband probably feels he will go Old School on him as our parents did us. You all have to put a plan in action. Both of you have to tell him the boundaries, guidelines and expectations you have for him as it relates to your family. Also, you both have to create consequences for him. Make sure you follow through with the consequences. That is key. You & your husband have to be a unified, consistent force. Just like me, he will hear you continue to fuss at him and let it go out the other ear. With both of you, he knows you mean business! As long as those strict consequences are in place and you follow through with the punishment. Take away what hurts the most. Even if it's free time, their bed, or electricity. Oh yeah, if he tries to raise up on you...Old School it is. As long as we're responsible for them we have authority over them. And they must obey us. I know it's not easy. You & your husband put a plan in action and be consistent. You will get plenty of resistance, but remain consistent. I remind my children what they used to do children in the Bible Days...stone them. Today, we are not going there, but children needed to know obedience is cruicle to their existence. W., I'm sitting here now between wash loads and having children complete their chores before we set a foot out of this house. And believe me, they are not willing either. And my 21 year had to get out over a year ago because he would obey the rules of this household.
If you all can enlist some help from family, teachers, school counselor, church family that would greatly help. If you guys can pinpoint why he may be acting out to the extreme may help you solve this situation much faster and keep this unacceptable behavior from spreading to the other children. I pray that the two of you don't get weary in well doing.....you know the rest. Children don't understand that we are responsible for them entirely until they are legally grown. So they need constant reminders. After that they're on their own. But until then, they have to abide by the rules & honor their mother & father...you know the rest. I'm sharing because my husband & I are in the process you all are in. And the fact I love the young people. They have so many things they can go for with their talents and gifts. But I know they won't get very far if they don't honor Mom & Dad. The Word is The Truth!!!
Be Blessed & Run On!! With His Grace & Tremendous Mercy! He Will if you all trust in Him.
Love,
T.
Dear W., That is tough. I am so sorry for you. I don't know what to tell you. Do you have a Priest or Preacher that can try to talk to him or straighten him out? Maybe a social worker can give you some advice. I don't know what else to tell you. He probably does'nt go to school. Maybe talk to a cousleor at school and they can give you some suggestions or a direction to take with him. Good Luck. I'll say a prayer for you tommorrow when I go to church.
Dear W., I am sorry you are going through this. I have boys too and I can tell that defiance and attitude problems start early with them. One BIG problem I see is that your husband refuses to deal with your son. He may be the one who's attention the boy needs most. And not the physical part. Boys want to be accepted, respected a loved by their father. The parents have to be the child's best friend, not the streets. And that taked a lot of patience and work on yours and your husband part. We give a lot of attention to kids, engage them into activities we like, talk to them a lot about everything. And at the same time you have to set rules and expectations and check, check, check... constantly, so your child knows you always on guard. I know it is very exausting. May be your husband can take some parenting classes and then he will be able to find a connection with his boy.
One of my friends took her son to the Outward Bound wilderness survival program. Her son said later that it was the most profiound experience in his life.
Your son needs professional help. What does your doctor say?
He sounds like he has behavioral disorder. Has he been tested
for ADD. Your husband also needs to learn how to deal with him.
Sounds like you need a therapist or psychologist.
It is far to go - many people all over the nation take their kids to ANASAZI over in Arizona. They tell their kids they are going on a vacation - driving or flying. Then they essentially drop them off for 3 weeks and its a wilderness survival thing for troubled kids - they go with trail walkers. Its VERY effective - but it is expensive.
They do tell people they need to move to a different location so that the same routine and the same friends aren't just awaiting him to fall into the same traps when he gets home.
It's hard to relocate, but maybe there is a way to do it.
My sister was a trail walker with ANASAZI and saw lives change rapidly in this time. They have no internet, phone, ipods - nothing except themselves, nature, and a trailwalker. No drugs, etc. It really forces them to come face to face with themselves.
Try Googling for the contact info. There are other similar programs around as well.
It sounds like your family may benfit from couseling or other professinal services. Maybe a youth group can help.See what's available in your area. I know you probably thought of everything, and I'm not sure if I'm helping, just know that you are doing the best you can. Good luck to you and your family.
Hello W. W
I understand what are you going thru beccause I pass something similar with my 17 Year old son.I was looking for help and my sister in law find a place that they take the kids for about 6 month.It's like a boot camp school. The school is Lincoln Challange Academy as soon I get my paper ready I will get you the address and some phone number.Hope that everything goes good with your son and that this information help also you can look some information thru the internet for them.
