Hello C.!
My now 22-month old son was found to have a murmur as a newborn. Echo showed that he has pulmonary valve stenosis, and we later found out there were some additional congenital defects with his pulmonary arteries. As a note of encouragement, these "defects" did not bother him in any way! I am a pediatric nurse, and have seen how some heart issues can make a child sickly. But Aiden has always been as normal as can be!
So, what you've read is correct . . . some murmurs are "innocent" and cause no issues. Some murmurs indicate that a "defect" needs to be corrected. My advice to you - take it one step at a time! Listen to the doctors, ask questions, get a second opinion if you aren't comfortable with the first. And I would encourage you to make sure you are seeing a Pediatric Cardiologist, and that whoever is doing the echo has experience in pediatrics (I have always been partial to children's hospitals - - Riley in Indy is EXCELLENT! - although I think it'd be a little far from you)
Although Aiden has never shown obvious symptoms of his heart defects, we have regularly followed up with his cardiologist . . . have had numerous echos and EKGs since the day he was born . . . just recently had 2 cardiac catheterizations to correct the defects. . . and will continue follow-up appointments his entire life.
All this to say, if you'd like some more information, referrals, or just good old support, I've been through it too - as a mother and a nurse! Please feel free to contact me!
~H.