Having a Third- What Have Your Experiences Been?

The first child feels like 2 kids; the second child feels like 3 kids; the third child feels like 50. At least that's what my mom told me. She loved us dearly, but I know she regretted having to put her career on hold longer than she wanted to, esp. since my dad didn't make a lot of money. I don't know how she did it. I have one child, work full-time, and am BUSY. I have no option to stay home.

I had three kids and the second was the hardest delivery, all c section. I never had problems with any of the pregnancies, not even morning sickness. My two oldest kids are 17 mo apart, the third is 4 years younger then the middle child. The only problem I had was that he didn't like his brother and sister going to school but it was nice for us to spend that time together.

I guess I'm in the minority here but I'll tell you about our decision against having a third child.
This is a very personal decision and it depends on the couple and the family dynamics so in no way I'm advising you not to have another baby.
We have a wonderful intelligent well behaved 8 year-old daughter and a wonderful mischievous super smart 8 month-old baby girl and I honestly wouldn't have it other way. We have enough money to fulfill all their basic needs and even college education for when the time comes.
Even though money is not the only factor to refrain from having more children, it is a factor and we both feel we couldn't offer the same opportunities to three children.

Another factor which weighs more heavily than money is my own personal goals in life; having children means putting on hold most of my personal career goals and ambitions. I am NOT resentful so please don't think I'm complaining it's just the truth. and if you read my past requests you will see how much of a hard time I'm having because I would like to return to work this year and I'm torn with this decision.

Another thing, my personality type leans towards being detailed and organized so I don't believe I could manage a household with more children than what I have now. If I cannot fully give my attention and myself to each of my children I would feel like I'm doing a disservice to them. This is just very particular to my personality type, I know there are moms out there who can tend to 4, 5 or 7 kids, I'm not one of them and will never be.

last one but should be somewhere in the top of the list, couple time! God knows it's been more than a year since I don't go out with my husband and it saddens me how neglectful it sounds when I type it. The more kids, the less time you have for yourself and you hubby.

anyways I hope I'm at least helpful in showing another perspective to the whole issue; I wish you the best in whatever decision you take, for what is worth I only have a sister and always wished I'd had more siblings so you might consider your children's points of view as well.
have a great day!

I have 3 kids , all 2 1/2 years apart , boy , girl , girl (they are 6 1/2 , 4 & 19 month at the moment). I always wanted a 3rd , like 2 weeks after the birth of the 2nd I knew I wanted another. 1st & 2nd pregnancies were great , no sickness and no dilemas's & went to full term with vaginal delivery , the 3rd I had awful sickness until 16 weeks and I just found it more difficult in general as I already had 2 kids to look after , was doing a school run for the eldest and had a very active 2yr old girl to entertain , then I had a ruptured appendix at 34 wks and baby was delivered.....anyway fast forward to now and yes it is a challenge (youngest is a climber so a complete liability all the time) and the 2 girls tend to fight quite alot but can also be so sweet together. My sos is no trouble at all. I would not change a thing but I can say with 100% certainty that I could not have a 4th...I would not be able to cope with that , but I love having 3.

Since I have six kids you know where I'm coming from. The big question is this: will you wonder who that third child might have been in 10 years from now? My third child came almost four years after my second and she was an easy, delighful baby. The adjustment was easy because of the spacing at the time. Now, it's a little harder because there's a big gap between #2 and #3. But, that's okay, too. There are no guarantees as to who this next baby will be, but you will love him or her and she/he will be a blessing to your family. God bless your decision!

Three has been great! I love having 3. Our third is easy going and laid back. She just goes with the flow because she has too. And the big kids adore her even now that she is 3. There are always tougher easier times. Also, the pregnancy was great.

My girls were 2 and 1 when their little sister was born. My sister recently had her third and they are 6, 3, and 4 months. She wishes they weren't as spread apart in age, but she had planned them at 3 years apart. I really enjoy having mine close together, but having three babies at one time was really difficult at first.

We don't regret having the third at all, in fact I went on to have another and she and her husband are planning four as well.

Life didn't change much at all after the new baby craziness died down (lack of sleep ect.)

Wishing you the best,
S., mom to 4 girls ages 2-7

well, I had my children 17 month apart, that was tough at first, but I loved the way they were connected to each other.
I just moved here from Germany then, and it was very hard because I didn't have any help............
So I thought I was done......
almost 10 years later, I got that feeling again, to have a child...
I was way happier, and knew more people, and my kids were excited, too and could watch to see his brother being born...
My third pregnancy was great, the birthing process was amazing..

So if you are not in a hurry, wait a little longer.......
and when the older children move out, I have one left to be home...

Hi, I have three children I spaced them so that someone was in school and the new baby was home alone during the day so that they could enjoy my time and I could work with them without interruption. It was great because the older children were able to help with the new baby and everyone enjoyed the new arrivals. It also kept them from picking up bad habits from their siblings.

Three is tough but I love it. It's just a juggling act. Once you get the hang if it, it's not bad at all. We were considering a 4th but the thing I was thinking about is by the time the baby is old enough to do fun things (rides, waterparks, etc) how old will the oldest be. I didn't want my oldest to miss out on all the fun of being a kid. I think if you are spreading them in age the way you are I think you guys will enjoy it. My 3rd was a big surprise but I'm so glad he's here.
:)
Good luck with your decision.

Having our third baby was a hard decision for us too ... but I am SOOOOO glad we decided to go for it. She is such an amazing baby - who knew it could be this way? Of course I didn't have an easy pregnancy, but that was also true for the first and second as well. The thing I love most about having a third is that my first 2 kids (A daughter who is 5 now and a son who is 3 now) love to play together and have time to themselves. So I get to really spend time with my sweet baby girl (7 months now). When I had my second I had to deal with regression issues, and jealousy. I was so exhausted having to really work with both a toddler and an infant! But with this baby, it's like having your first child but with all the knowledge of how to take care of a baby. The older 2 spend so much time playing together or trying to help me with the baby! Yes! I love it! Our sweet little girl surely completes this family! I am so thankful we didn't miss out on her! :)

Having a 3rd was something I never thought about. The most kids anyone had in all of my family tree is 2...only 2! Same on H side. After our 2nd I realized I wanted 1 more, and that I loved the idea of having a big family. Best decision ever! I have 2 boys and a girl, in that order. 2 years apart. It is crazy but if you want it, you can do it:)

To be fair I was used to having more than 2 kids around me though before I had my own. My H had 2 boys from a previous relationship and my sister has 2 boys and they all grew up together for a bit before I had mine!! I was used to being in the role of very lovey and involved-Auntie/Mom-"figure". The age gap between them is big but I think it worked out for us and our life. I am glad I waited and gave "SET #1" a good 6 yrs to be little and such before having "SET #2"...as we lovingly refer to them at our house:)

Kids ages: 18,15,6,4,2

Our third daughter wasn't planned, but I wouldn't change anything. They are 12, 9 and 7 now. I found it harder to go from 1 to 2 than 2 to 3. Having two in diapers was a bit of a challenge, but only just. Our 2nd and 3rd girls were pretty easy going, which helped a lot. Our oldest was big into being a helper, so that helped too.

My 3rd pregnancy was by far the worst (horrible sciatica), but everything ended up okay.

My husband had a much harder time with adding a 3rd kid than I did. I quit my part-time job and that made him the sole earner. He suffered from anxiety attacks afterwards. He was so worried about making ends meet. He saw his doctor and was put on anti-anxiety meds for 4 months after she was born. Money was really tight, but we streamlined our budget while keeping communication open.

It's still a lot of work, but we're comfortable and fairly happy. We're so glad we did have our third, as our family feels complete.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

My third was my easiest pregnancy and delivery. I put off having #3 for 5 years because I was afraid of how it would change my life. I wasn't sure we could handle it emotionally and financially. I am so glad we went for it! It was not the "crazy" I was expecting. It was wonderful. We ended up having two more after #3 because the fear was gone so we did what was in our heart.

I'm not sure someone can answer this question for you..(just being honest)
I have a 16 year old, 12 year old, and 2 year old which is my only girl. They are all different. I was never a big planner in the baby department..hubby and I just allowed that part of our life to happen and decided that we'd control it when we knew "we" were done having babies.
I've stayed at home, had a career, even done the school thing right up until the third came....Having such a spread/gap in age with mine what I will tell you is that because I have a 16 almost 17 year old and a 2 year old I realize how quickly they grow up and have chosen to not try and "do all" and just enjoy as well support and help them with all their goals, dreams, etc...best wishes to your family and decision within your own:)

I have 4 kids - although only 3 live with us (our 15 yr old was born when I was very young & she has choose to stay with her grandparents). At home we have 2 1/2 & 4 yr old boys & a 5 yr old girl. Yes, my girls are drama queens, the 4 yr old is our hardest altough he is the most loving little boy & our 2 1/2 yr old is so laid back & goes with the flow no matter what. We are also expecting in July.

Personnaly I think the change from one to two was the hardest. Yes, there are two of you taking care of the two kids, but mom & dad aren't always there all the time. Even now I'm sure there are times when you have both kids by yourself. You have found ways to juggle both of your kids when you are by yourself... all you have to do is use the skills you have learned and apply it to the next one also.

A few things I have done is when we go for walks just me and the kids... the youngest is in the stroller & the other 2 have to hold on to it. When we go to the store I hold the younger 2 hands and my 5 yr old has to hold one of her bothers hands in the parking lot. And if they have a "car" cart 2 rid and one helps me shop if not the littlest rides and the other 2 help me shop, but hold on to the cart when we walk.

I have been told by so many that my kids are so good... when we are out they have to be. It helps them to be safer & they do get rewarded for being good when we go out. My kids are also know as the good kids & great helpers at our "normal" stores. Even at 3.5 yrs, they can and want to help with little things... let them help.

There is nothing that would me go back & change my kids. I love them all so much... only think I would change is how hard I fought to keep my oldest. But that is another story.

Good luck with your desition!

We have 5 children ages 19, 17, 15, 11 and 18 mos. My husband and I are both crazy about kids (obviously) but to be perfectly honest, having a large family (more than 2) can be challenging. The most difficult was definitely going from 2 to 3 kids. My pregnancy was easy (normal preg. issues only) - but there is something about being outnumbered by the kids that makes life consistently chaotic - no matter how much you plan or organize. Also, they are very expensive. The preschool, diaper, formula era can be expensive -- but what you really have to be prepared for is the teenage years. Cars, insurance, clothes, sports, trips, education, etc. it can be mind-blowing. Another thing to consider is your marriage. As we have had more children, we have to work harder at keeping our marriage strong (very happy together, but must carve out the time necessary to keep the spark!!!). One last thing to consider is the amount of "outside" help you have. My husband's corporate job moves us every few years so for the last ten years we have not had help (babysitting kids, picking up from school,etc.) from family because we are too far away. However, we started a tradition after we moved away from home -- my husband's parents take the kids for a couple of weeks during the summer. Smartest thing we ever did. My husband and I spend time getting things done around the house, take a trip together and just reconnect during this time. We are refreshed, renewed and that keeps us strong as a couple for our children.

Oh by the way -- three of my children are girls -- drama is just part of the girl thing! My two boys are quiet and shy (middle children 17 & 15) -- my girls are complete opposites.
All of that having been said -- would not change a thing! You really have to consider what works for your personality, marriage and lifestyle -- if you really want to think deeply and logically about it. I didn't plan any of my kids, except the last. We are a close family - the first thing my teenagers do when they get home is to ask where the baby is so they can play with her. Having 3 (or more) children is a great thing - as long as you go into it with your eyes wide open!!! Good luck!

I was done having kids at 2....both boys. To be hoenst, I never really wanted kids - I never felt very maternal, but rather wanted a career and not the hassles of diapers and babysitters, etc. We ended up with #3 (girl - who is INDEPENDENT and sometimes Drama) and are actually considering #4. I am a professional and my husband does not most the child rearing, although I am home a lot with all of them. That being said:

PROS:
The kids ADORE each other and learn how to deal socially at an earlier age.

LOTS of love.

They love their siblings so much the older two are asking for another baby.

CONS:
WAY more expensive to travel.

Hectic scheduling sometimes.

Your energy gets split up.

Less time for ourselves, so we have to schedule it out.

Basically, there are a lot of cons when it comes to practicality. It's just that having a larger family can be difficult, who am I kidding, sometimes I want to jump on the next plane to anywhere, but the time we have together is awesome. we even homeschool AND I work to support our family. My husband helps out at my office, but we on;y work 3 days each week and we are home the other 4 ALL day long, so we spend more time with our kids than most couples....and we still are considering another baby!

We have four and all my children are different-and the typical stereo types of youngest middle and oldest do not apply to them. My kids always had friends or cousins with us so at times you could double the kids we had to handle-Im sure when yours are older you will have extras tagging along also.
I never saw a difference from 2 to 4. I would not of changed it for the world!!

My oldest son was 5 and my daughter was 3 when we decided to have a 3rd. We were hesitant for all the reasons you stated plus our oldest had been diagnosed with Aspergers so we were concerned about him not getting the time and attention he needs as well as concerns of an increased chance of us having another child on the autism spectrum. In the end we decided to go for it and it was the best decision we have ever made. Our youngest son is a wonderful 2 year old now and has his own personality....he's not exactly like either of his siblings. Sure it's a little harder keeping tabs on 3 instead of 2 but when the 3 of them are playing together and laughing at each other it's wonderful!!

Good luck with your decision,
K.