Let me start with we do not have the best relationship with the ex-wife. Two weeks ago the x, hubby and children have moved into a new home. We discovered last night the house has no back door and there are exposed wires in the front room. There is a sheet to cover the back door and a card board box to keep the dogs in. The children are 11 (handicapped) and 14, both girls. The X was not there for my boyfriend of 7 years to say any thing. He wants some thing done to protect the children. For one, the 14 yr old is dating a 17 yr old, (two) there are horses behind the house and (three) any one could walk in or out of the house like the 11 yr old. The house is basically in the country. Any suggestions on how to handle this? I think my boyrfriend is going to try to talk to her today (she was not home last night when he dropped the kids off), but I am expecting nothing but an arugument. I have thought about CPS, but he says they will know it was us. Who the heck cares if it keeps the kids safe. HELP! PS. My b/f did think about bringing the children back home with him. And the x's hubby is code enforcement in his town.
If you are that concerned than who cares if they know it is you! Tell me where this is going on and I will report it!!
Make an anonymous call to CPS. Explain to them first that this can not come from you out of fear of retaliation. Chances are there other homes in the vicinity and SOMEONE else knows the condition of that home and maybe saw some small children living in it and wanted to make sure that CPS knows there isnt a back door on the home. You might want to give them a little time to fix the problems first, maybe getting a roof over their head was the first priority and I can't see a mom in her right mind wanting to allow her kids to live in an insecure situation as that one. If she isnt in her right mind all the more reason to make the phone call this morning! Dont tell your boyfriend you did it. It could be one of those white lies you can forgive yourself for making. Maybe encourage your b/f to get some materials to help fix the place up for his kids rather than having them get the kids yanked away and being homeless? If you are seeking custody of these kids yourself, I hope you know what you are getting into. If their dad's first instinct wasnt to get them out of there pronto or fix the problem himself, I feel that is a red flag about his character as well. Hmm.
You've gotten some good answers. I won't add to those, but wanted to add this: even if the house is out in the country, if it is in a county or town, that town may have a tenant's association, or a county office that deals with tenants and landlords. Google the county the property is located in, and then words like tenants associations, tenants rights, etc. You can call that office and they can give you some advice. Or you can go onto the county or city property assessor's office online and get the public information available to anyone. It should list the owner of the property, and you can possibly find other information about the property there.
Does the X own or rent?
If she is renting, then your boyfriend should call the landlord and ask him to repair things. If the landlord will not, then your boyfriend should call an electirician and a handyman to fix the problems and send the landlord the bill. If he won't pay, take him to small claims court.
If its a house that she bought, then your boyfriend should file an emergency order with the court for temporary full physical custody of the girls until the house conditions are fixed. If he doesn't want to do that, then he can call the electrician and handyman in, but probably won't be reimbursed for it.
M.
If there is no door on the house, and there are exposed electrical wires, it sounds like the house is not habitable.
If your boyfriend talks to them, and nothing is done, have him be honest that if nothing is done, he'll call CPS..... Yes, it will make dealing with them more awful because they will be angry. But what is worse: Having a child get hurt/killed because they are taking care of them, but you/bf didn't did not want to cause problems, or having them angry but the kids be safe????
Also, have BF talk to his attorney, as another posted suggested, and make a motion to take the kids, at least until suitable housing is arranged...
And if BF won't do it, perhaps you should (and you should think about whether you want to stay with him, if he won't risk the X's wrath for the sake of his kids).
I would contact several people. The father's attorney to petition the court to change the custody/visitation agreement until repairs are made. CPS to look over the home and the situation if they think they children are unsafe they will remove the children. The city building inspecter it is not legal to occupy a home in that condition, especially with children. If she bought the house I would call the Board of Realtors, her Real Estate Agent did act in the best interests of his client if he did not insist that all repairs are finished before move in.
At any rate I would not allow my kids to go back to that house until repairs are made even if I had to call the police.
Would it be worse for him to do nothing and someone else call CPS and CPS come and say, "Why didn't you protect your children?"
I think he should make the call and explain that he's concerned about his children, not trying to report his x for any vendetta reasons.
as much as i hate to say this, call social services, no child should have to live
like that, handicapped or not. you should probably call the housing authority first, so they can document all the problems with the house, so that way the ex wife cant claim that the damage to the house is something new.document everything, so if the ex wife suddenly decides to claim you are harrassing her, or singling her out, you have proof of an ongoing problem
K. h.
