Got My Feelings Hurt, Now What?

Oh my kids think Im the devil and out to cause them undue pain and suffering. I cant even brush their hair let alone their teeth!!

Just to add my 2 cents, the teacher wouldn't change them for her anyway due to liability.

My suggestions is to have her do it herself when she is ready with you there to help. If she is doing it it probably won't bother her at all.

Changing earings is NOT her teacher's job. Tell her that and then you're not making it about you. She'll get over it, and when she wants to change them badly enough she'll let you have another go.

It's only been a few weeks since she got them done, so they may not be totally healed yet. Aren't you supposed to wait at least 6 weeks before changing earings? Wait a few more weeks before changing them, and make sure they're not tender or infected.

I just wanted to let you know that I had my ears pierced for the first time 6 years ago (and although I was a adult) i thought it hurt like hell!! Even when I had to change them out for the first time, I found the experience very painful. My ears would crust over the earring and it would hurt so bad. Sometimes it would crust over so badly that the earring would get stuck in my ear and I would have to put a warm washcloth up to my ear just to break off the hard crust and take the earring out. I would let her know that she has to be brave and promise her you will be as gentle as possible. Tell her that its not the teachers job to change her earrings and that if she doesnt let you do it, she cant wear her new earrings. Maybe offer her father to do it instead even? Come armed with a warm washcloth in case of crust and if she still protests, maybe have her do it? Guide her throughout so she can do it herself. Or let her put her hand on yours when youre doing it so she feels a sense of control over the situation and the possible pain. Tell her youll stop at any time if she feels pain. Let her know that she can have some sort of control.

Well if they're not totally healed yet then you really might be hurting her. I remember just the turning you're supposed to do used to hurt. Of course what she apparently doesn't realize is that her teacher would hurt her just as much.

I didn't get my ears pierced till I was 10 and I remember not so much pain, but being sort of freaked out that there were holes in my ears (I loved them though!). I had a really hard time changing my earrings or letting anyone else change them. She might just be freaking out a little.

LOL! Are you kidding? I'm known as the brutal nurse in this home.

My kids never let me forget things like almost cutting their ears off (literally) when I cut their hair. They cringe all the way through my haircuts.

Don't worry, your daughter loves you for your many other traits. If the teacher's willing, let her put the earrings in.

Well my daughter is 4 and yeah she won't let me change her earrings either. She just thinks it will hurt. I change her younger sister's earring all the time with no problem but my 4 year old is just scared. So that's pretty normal. As for her wanting her teacher to do it......I don't think it's that big of a deal I mean yeah I understand that it hurt your feelings but she also might get to school and chicken out with her teacher too. My daughter said she would let me change her earrings for her birthday but then she backed out....still too scared. LOL But I do agree with your hubby, school isn't really the place for that kinda thing.

I agree with how your husband said to explain it. Tell her it isn't you hurting her, but that her ears are still very sensitive. Try not to take it too personally, she doesn't understand that exactly and it doesn't mean she loves or trusts you any less. Maybe you can go up to the calendar, and circle the date 10 or so days from now and say "On this date, we can try again". You aren't supposed to remove the earrings for 4 to 6 weeks, (some say3, but if she is still really sensitive you should wait).t.

Also, have you been twisting her earring around in her ear daily with the antiseptic? If you haven't been, it an cause infection and the ear skin to close and grow onto the earring. Continue to do that and wait to change the earring for several more weeks.

This should help with some cleaning and signs of infection tips:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/242978/how_to_ta...

The studs are simply turned several times in the ears, as one would wind a watch. The person should turn the earrings in each direction about five times, two or three times a day.

The starter earrings should be left in continuously for about three weeks. After that, the person can remove the earrings and should clean them thoroughly in hydrogen peroxide and isopropyl alcohol. He or she should get a cotton swab or a toothpick to completely remove any residue from the earrings and the backs. After that, the person should clean the pierced ears with peroxide and apply antibiotic ointment to both sides of the earlobe. The earring posts should also be coated in the ointment before they are replaced in the ears.

When the earrings are replaced, they should be left in for another three weeks, following the same cleaning and turning regimen as before. Once the six weeks are up, a person can usually replace the starter studs with earrings of his or her choice. However, it's a good idea to wear the starter studs at night for several more weeks. The person should also continue to keep the newly pierced ears and earrings clean, and use antibiotic ointment at the first sign of redness, drainage, or itching. When a strict cleaning regimen is followed, most people have no trouble with their newly pierced ears.

PS... Love your update! :)

She is a 5 year old child who thought her mother hurt her trying to change her earrings. Of course you didn't hurt her, but it makes perfect sense why your daughter thinks so. She is just 5!! My 7 y/o son will not let me kiss him. It's a game he plays. I do not get hurt because he is a small child who thinks he's being funny and is not purposely trying to hurt me. My point - there is no reason to let small children hurt you because they are just kids! They are so young, they have no idea what they are saying/doing. I would not be offended at all that your daughter wants her teacher to change her earrings. I agree with your husband - it is not her teacher's job, so why doesn't your husband do it? Or a neighbor, or an aunt, or her grandma? It really doesn't matter who does it. I think you're being too sensitive about this. Try not to let things like this get to you, otherwise you will be a very hurt mother throughout your daughter's life.

Reasons like this are why my mother waited until I was old enough to take care of them myself 100%. I honestly do not understand why at 5 they are peirced to begin with when she can not take care of them on her own. Please do not think I am jumping on you for your choice but here is another way to look at it for the future.
Side note, many childhood competative/team sports do not allow earrings at all "on the field" or in practice either.

Aww, don't feel bad, Mommy, there will be so many more opportunities for you to get your feelings hurt. LOL. The real problem is that if - God forbid - you had the lapse in judgment and agreed to ask her teacher to do it and it DIDN'T hurt just as much then your Mom cred would forever be ruined. Definitely don't make that mistake. Maybe what you could do is as others said, explain that that's not something her teacher should do (just like her teacher shouldn't be giving her a bath), and that because it's healing, it'll probably hurt no matter who does it. Ask her if she wants to try to do it herself; and if so, fine, if not, it'll have to wait another little while. Of course, that'll have to come with all kinds of caveats like she only takes them out when you're there, she can't get the others without you...

Just tell her it's too dang soon for ANYONE to change her earrings.
It obviously makes her nervous, she's afraid it's going to hurt, and I could be wrong, but it's just too early after piercing anyway. It hasn't even been 4 full weeks if you did it at Christmas.

Her ears need time to heal.
Don't be hurt over this.
Just take the subject off the table.

It's too soon, in my opinion, anyway.
Leave her ears alone.

Best wishes.

i understand you being hurt but its not that big of deal. however i would not send the earrings and except the teacher to do it. the teacher has lots of other kids to be attentive to and putting on earrings is not one of them. it might only take a second most likely a couple of minutes with a upset child.
my daughter got earrings last winter and she was also upset when i changed the earrings.

Normal at this age-they think the teacher can do everything cause they see them do so much!! Don't take it personally. And if the teacher is worth her salt, she would tell your daughter she can't do that and call you for a conference.
I had the issue of being scared with my daughter when she was 12!! Practicing on you is good and then let her take it out herself but you clean it!

Another suggestion is to take her back where you got them pierced but they may tell you no they can't do that!

Or what about a trusted friend, aunt, cousin, etc?

It's the earrings. I remember when my ears were peirced and the backs were SO HARD to get off!

Just a thought, to get the peircing posts out of her ears, you might try doing it while she is in a deep sleep at night (one at a time- 15 to 20 min apart). You might get lucky and she won't wake up. If she does wake up, it'll already be over and once she realizes that 'normal' earrings are not so difficult to remove/change, you'll be on your way to hundreds of dollars of fashion statements over the next 13 years!

Not sure why your feelings were hurt but I can tell you my older girls screamed the first time those earrings came out. They waited until they were 10 to get their ears pierced. Repierced at 12 for one of them cuz they closed up. Second piercing for another at 15. They are old enough to know the difference between scared and hurt and they say it HURTS to get those piercing earrings out. Just trying to get your fingers around the front and back CAN hurt them-and then those silly earrings are impossible to get off. Takes tugging which is impossible to keep from hurting or at least being uncomfortable. One of the times I kept at it-but it took us a good ten minutes to get those stupid earrings off-and I had one unhappy child. The other times I made them do them on their own.
So, sorry, it may really have hurt her. Or been uncomfortable at least. Let her wait. And explain to her that the reason those earrings stay in so well is that they have backs that are made to NOT come off. So that first time it will be more of a challenge to get them off and it may tug or be uncomfortable. Once she has the piercing earrings out, piece of cake-so make sure she realizes it is just the first time taking them out that hurts.
(It's not the actual piercing hurting-its the ear pulling and it is VERY easy to pinch the skin trying to grab the earring.)
Really-wait until she's a teenager. My girls have said some things to me when they thought they were just being snotty which hurt my feelings enough to make me cry. And I have a pretty thick skin. You will have PLENTY more opportunities to get your feelings hurt by that precious sweetheart-this is just training!
And this is NOT the teachers job for umpteen reasons. Hubby was right on that.
Good luck. One of my girls waited another 6-8weeks after that first attempt because it hurt so much-no problem, just gave them more time to heal.

.

I just read your post and the "what happened".....my hubby gets it about the same amount as yours does. Sure, he might have said the same thing....but it SOUNDS better coming from a fellow mom! LOL

I agree that it is not the teacher's job to do anything beyond expanding
knowledge and spurring curiosity and thought and protecting all the
students. However, it is in the line of work for a doctor to help.
Sounds like, from other posts, that it is just too early. Along with getting
her ears pierced, there must be a maturity level that includes patience
with healing. She is just 5, Mom, so I would make every effort to not take
it personally that she made the suggestion for teacher's help. Sounds
like she's just being resourceful. Lots of luck.

DIdn't get a chance to read other responses so I hope this isn't a repeat. No I wouldn't let the teacher change them. Quick question though are you turning the earings. It's been a long time since I had my ears pierced but I remember I had to constantly turn them so the skin wouldn't grow around it and try to close. The first several times it hurts but if done often enough it will stop hurting. If she doens't want you to do it then teach her how to do it herself. Let her know it might hurt a little the first couple of times but after the 3 or so turn it won't hurt anymore. If she does this regularly then it will be easier to change out earings later.