Good News or Bad News First?

I hope all of you recover quickly and painlessly. I hope that he is able to go home with you soon. :) Sending you hugs from Texas!

Hugs.

A similar thing happened with me, per my 1st child's birth.
Had to have an emergency c-section.
It was fine.

Press in to smile strong mama! You sound like you had a Super Woman moment...let us know how baby is progressing :)

Why are you defeated? You did what any good and loving mom would do. You put the best interest of your child before any plans or hopes you had in the beginning.

I am proud of you!

Congrats!!!!

You were able to set your own wants aside for the good of your child...there is ZERO shame in that. You are a good mother. I wish you a speedy recovery mentally, physically, emotionally, & spiritually. Congratulations on the birth of your son! :)

You need to let go of this idea of this glorious process where everything happens as you wanted and expected. You need to let go of the idea that you are a lesser woman for not having the birth experience you think you should have had. Focus on your sweet baby and your own recovery. Don't worry about feeling like people are saying "I told you so." I'm sorry that you've had these problems, but it sounds like the worst is over. I wish you happiness now. Just let the rest go.

CONGRATULATIONS on your baby boy!!!! Welcome to the world Corrin.

I'm crushed, though. I really thought I had Tuesday pegged as his bday ;) I'll just pretend you're in Japan.

Births and Weddings... in the scheme, we know they don't matter. It's your baby and your marriage that matter. But that doesn't soften the crushing disappointment when we don't get what we want out of the ceremony! It sounds like you did FANTASTICALLY well.

My 2 cents:

The whole idea behind homebirthing on purpose is to follow your INSTINCTS. YOU DID THAT. At a certain point, something in you went "this isn't right". You followed your instincts, made it to medical professionals you TRUSTED, and now wee Corrin (I know, my son was 10lbs & 23 inches long, "wee" and "little" just seem to not quantify) was able to go to the NICU IMMEDIATELY. Exactly where he needed to be. The o2 EXACTLY when he needed it.

You've got some good instincts there, mama. You did great. That's something to be very, very proud of yourself for. And for following your own instincts against your own wishes, you'll be an even stronger support for helping moms follow their instincts, even when doing so is the opposite of what they WANT to do.

Ah, welcome to the world Corrin!! Such wonderful news!

Don't worry Pam, we're all rootin' and prayin' for him. Most births are not picture perfect, as you know.

How can you be disappointed when you have a gorgeous babyboy to celebrate?!

I gotta good strong feeling it's gonna be ok.

:)

Had this happened a hundred years ago, Corrin and quite possibly you would have been one of those high statistics of maternal/fetal death rates back then. Thank God for modern medicine, even when we would prefer NOT to have to use it!

Many blessings on you and your little guy. I pray that you both heal quickly and you can move on and enjoy your new son. Love his name!

Lots of emergency C sections these days. How much does Corrin weigh? Siounds like he's gonna be a stubborn little angel :)
You gave it your best shot. Sometimes PLANS just dont pan out. Do you change your screenname now that Corrin is here?
Congratulations. I'm sure he will be perfectly fine after the trauma of trying and not succeeding to come out of mom's vj wears off. That compression they get when they come through the birth canal is important to the respiratory system, I'm sorry you had to forgo that part. But hey, at least you dont have a sore "ginny".

10.8 pounds? Holy Mother of God! Congrats on delivering a MAN :)

You worked for delivering your baby the healthiest way possible. You did that!! THIS was the healthiest way for your baby. I know all of us saying that, probably does not make you feel better. I sincerely hope, that one day (SOON!) you can look back and in your own heart echo all the things we are saying. I hope for a speedy recovery...in every way...for you and baby.

Hi Pamela
Firstly a big congratulations on the birth of your son.
Sorry things didn't go as planned.
Sending lots of positive energy to you and your son for a speedy recovery.
All the best
B. k

Pamela, I've been waiting for that little boy to decide to come out! I know you were due right when I was and Case decided to come a little early on July 26th.
PLEASE don't feel bad that things turned out the way they did! you did what was best for you and your baby boy! That's all that matters! I know that you were REALLY hoping to have a home birth and I'm sorry it didn't work out but please don't feel bad about it!
I am SO sorry that he's having some difficulties! That is SO scary! I only know how scary this is because after I had Case, we moved to our recovery room and his pediatrition called me and told me he was going to have to go to the NICU because he had a problem with his heart! The nurse came in right after that and took him away and it broke my heart! I never wish that feeling on anyone at all! I will be praying for you and your sweet baby Corrin!
Hope you feel better!
Ashley

Congratulations on your new baby boy, I love the name!
Thank God for modern day technology that allowed your doctors to realize the dire need of you and your baby, and how to overcome the obstacle of your son being unable to decend.
I hope you recover quickly. Don't dwell on what could have been, but rather look to the future and into the eyes of your precious baby boy!

Oh, Mama... I'm sorry you're hurting. Don't be so hard on yourself. Things just don't always turn out how we hope even with the best laid plans.

My little guy came 2 and a half months early and spent 2 weeks in the nicu. It was not easy. But he is now almost 6, and completely healthy, happy, smart, perfect.

Take care of yourself ~ it'll be ok. Congratulation on your sweet baby :)

I completely understand your disappointment--some people don't think of the actual birth as something they should try to enjoy or plan any certain way, but you did, and it didn't happen the way you wanted, and you're bummed. Try to breathe, let the pregnancy and the birth go, and focus on being Corrin's mother. You get to be his mom for the rest of your lives, and he needs you fully focused on that, clear-headed, looking out for him.

First of all, congratulations on your new baby. It wasn't easy getting him here, but he's here now. He is a little miracle.
While I think it's commendable to have a birthing plan, I also think you have to really mentally prepare yourself for the fact that things don't always go as planned.
Working in the OB ward at a hospital, I saw this many times....moms who were inconsolable because their hopes and dreams for a certain type of birth just wasn't possible in the end.
You have a right to feel disappointed, but I wouldn't dwell on it. Your baby needs you now.
My daughter's first baby was born on 5/5 and he was born with respiratory problems and a lung infection. He was in the hospital on oxygen and I.V. antibiotics for 5 days. My daughter had a tough time with it. She imagined having her baby and being home in a day or so. Day after day they told her he couldn't go home yet.
The GOOD news is that he is perfectly fine and healthy now in every way. He's alert and a very happy baby. He weighed 7lbs 8 ounces and has doubled that in 3 months. He's beautiful and a joy and all those scary first days seem like a distant memory to my daughter now. She is so in love with him and so thrilled by every little new thing he does each day.
Please don't be too hard on yourself.
Your beautiful son is here and he's getting the medical care that he needs.
You had a hard time, but you got him here and that's the main thing.
I mean no offense by that at all. I'm not trying to undermine how you feel.
Try to put your energy and your positivity toward your little one getting well very soon.

Very best wishes.

Hi Pamela,

I just wanted to say CONGRATS!!!! I know your labor/delivery didn't go the way you wanted and that sucks BIG time. But, just remember, you did the BEST you could and your baby is HERE now---alive and doing pretty well despite the infection. Count your blessings and grieve your loss of the labor that you really, deeply wanted. I completely understand. I too had very traumatic births. Take good care of yourself and pat yourself on the back--you did good!!!!

PS. I sincerely hope that no one chooses this time to be rude to you or call you out on your choices. You did great, your baby is here now and your not preggers anymore! :)

Take care,

M

I'm sorry, I really am. But he's in good hands and he will recover. Get enough rest and try and let it go so that you can enjoy your little boy. Praying for speedy recoveries for you both.

This just happened today and your writing on this site? You are wonder woman! Congrats to the new member of your family, rest up and dont worry, just pray.

I am sorry this was so hard for you. I am happy that Corrin is ok. He has complications, but will be fine and that is what is important. I've learned that life (let alone the beginning of it) never goes as we plan. We just have to try to accept it. My son (#2) was born by csection... and ended up in the NICU on a respirator. I'll never forget the 4 days I was unable to hold him... and the words of the nurse at 1am - Mrs. M, we are going to have to put your son on a respirator. I also will never forget the first time I held him - I shook with emotion and cried tears of absolute gratitude he would be okay... and he is. Now over 3 and happy and healthy... it will all work out. You will get through. Just take it one step at a time...

Are you kidding? You did great.. You were a trooper and tried everything and then did what was needed to deliver your baby healthy.

You won the best prize a big baby boy!
Congratulations!.. You will feel better when you can hold your baby and be home to all rest comfortably.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

I had a feeling he was going to be a boy (well, to be fair, I also had a feeling that he was going to be born a week ago...and I was WAY off on that one)! Corrin is a beautiful name.

Look, I think you should let yourself grieve that you didn't get to have the birth experience you were hoping for. That's real, sister. And you get to be hurt and disappointed.

Riley's right though. You trusted your instinct.

I think that's all kind's of brave, and admirable, and hard. *Especially* when our body is yelling ten different kinds of hell. You did wonderfully.

I am putting out big prayers for his health, and also for your swift recovery.

And try to remember you are not alone. It's fine and healthy to have a wave of emotions about the birth of our child. It's a labor is hard, and some of the feelings we have about it are hard too. I think it's helpful to look at those strait in the face (as you are doing) and say, "Okay. I am truly grateful that I have a baby in my arms. No matter what, that's what is important. AND I so hoped to heal through my process of birth, and that didn't feel healing. I feel disappointed. (or what ever may be coming up.)

And then, to really take care of ourselves and try to be gentle and affirming while we heal, and hurt, and love on our sweet baby.

Good health to you Pamela, and to your newest addition. ((and also, thanks for posting your birth story. I felt lucky to read it))

been there - Nicky was born 4 weeks premature with pneumonia..tubes everywhere...Nicky's first APGAR was a 2.

Pamela, I am happy for you and your family that your son is finally here. I hope his lung issues resolve QUICKLY and that you can all be in the comfort of your own home very soon.

I know things didn't work out the way you wanted to, so allow yourself time to grieve, but don't look at this as a strike against you. You did all you could and the rest was out of your control.

I hope you get some rest!

Welcome to the world, Corrin, and congratuations, Pamela!

You did all you could, and Corrin is better off for all that labor you went through. You are a birth warrior who knew that discretion is the better part of valor, and you went with the more cautious path. Bravo to you for all you have done, and I hope Corrin is home with you very soon.

Are you able to nurse him? Do you need any help on that front?

please dont feel defeated!!! there is no reason for you to feel that way, you labored and labored and labored, you did everything you could and in the end had to make a decision for the baby. the most important thing is that he is here. I am so sorry he is having respiratory issues. I'll be praying for you all for speedy and healthy recoveries. I hope you are able to get to the other hospital to be with Corrin soon!!!!!! please get as much rest as possible and dont be so hard on yourself. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOU WONDERFUL BABY BOY!!!

I am so sorry that things did not turn out how you would've wanted them to go. I will be praying for Corrin, and for you. Try to get some rest!

my son was a planned c-section, he couldnt drop because of the softball sized fibroids blocking his exit. he was a biggin' too, 10.3 and had lung issues. he's fine now, has a touch of asthma on days when the air is filthy or if he exerts himself by running to long, but otherwise has turned out okay! he's 14. don't beat yourself up, you did good, he's here and will soon be healthy! I'm glad you made it to the hospital in time.

Hey girl!
We can't control everything all the time. Im glad he's here and y'all are ok. Praying for a fast recovery for corrin. You rest and don't feel that way. What matters is the outcome. It doesn't make you less because you needed help. Keep us posted!

Blessings to you and on the birth of your little boy. I hope both you and he are feeling better very soon. Know that you have the right to grieve the birth you wanted and to worry over your son. You did the best that you could laboring at home, then taking steps to have as natural a birth as you hoped for. I imagine your poor body just couldn't pass a nearly 11 pound baby, so hopefully that will ease your mind some. In the end, of course, we all know we want our healthy baby and I hope that your little guy is fine. I'm going to send you some virtual prayers and a virtual cup of tea with a back massage.

I'm so sorry things didn't go as planned. Your labor sounds very similar to my first. I totally understand your disappointment and sense of defeat. I struggled for quite a while feeling like I had done something wrong and let my baby down. She was also in NICU for a while with a tear in her lung. I wish I could give you a miracle cure to stop your hurt. It will fade in time and you will come to realize as all the previous posters have told you, you did what you had to do to ensure the safety of your baby. Like one said, it doesn't matter if he was delivered by a space ship. He is here now and that is all that matters!

Give yourself plenty of time to heal and love on that sweet bundle of joy!

I know that it doesn't seem like it right now, but you did everything you could to have the birth you hoped for. More important than you having your baby be born in your home, you made the right decision when the situation warranted for you to go to the hospital. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, but should be very proud of yourself for having the courage to try to do something you believe very firmly in.

The end result, although not your ideal, was the best for your baby. He was able to get the NICU care that he needed. Is he still in the NICU? I know it is hard to not focus on the actual birth circumstances when you are still waiting for him to get to your room, but try to just rest, relax, and when they are finally able to bring him to you, revel in every moment of his loveliness.

Congratulations!!! You did great!

Congrats!!! Sometimes we have to change our plans in order to save our babies... The most important thing is that you both are OK. It may take some time for you to recover from the cesarean. Please let us know how you are both doing!!!
Be strong!! Corrin needs you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
N.

yes, this happens.....but usually it's in the reverse: a smaller baby with lung issues. Your whopper of a son is the 1st I've heard of with lung issues such as this....& that's with 25 years of babies in our family!

Thank goodness, the c-section went well. It's cases like this...that make me say "thank you" to modern technology! & most importantly, Thank goodness, he has stabilized!

Now for what I know: my older son was born with Respiratory Distress Syndrome & immediately developed pneumonia due to aspiration of meconium. He was born vaginally, a difficult/long labor. We were close to c-section time, but were able to ride it out.

He was under oxygen for 3 days, released to home (still with full-blown pneumonia) on Day 5. Xrays on Day 10 to check out the lungs. A.O.K. from that point on......& he's 24yo next month! Sending prayers your way....

I am so glad Corrin has such a passionate Mom who cares so much about him begining from how he arrived in this world. He's a very forntunate young man! All the best, I hope the coming days bring much healing to you and your family!

Congratulations! I'm happy to hear that Corrin is finally here and looks like he's going to be OK. I've been thinking about and praying for you all weekend. My heart goes out to you as I remember my own first birth where everything I hoped for in a delivery went out the window and I came out feeling exhausted and barely alive. The only thing that came out of my mouth when I saw her is "We're alive". Not very romantic, but after what I had been through that was about all I could be thankful for. It's normal to grieve loss of any dream even the dream of a natural, beautiful birth. The conclusion I finally came to after tearing up for days as I recalled the trauma, was that though everything about the labor and delivery was a nightmare, I got to hold my "dream" in my arms and she was healthy. So in a sense: Mission Accomplished.
Best wishes to you and yours! Thanks for sharing your wonderful news. What a big guy he is. I was 10 lbs 2 oz at birth and my youngest brother 10 lbs 8 oz. Your guy takes the cake! Midwife Mom of 3

Try not to beat yourself up over it, you prepared and tried for as long as possible for the birth you wanted. I wish you both a speedy recovery. Sending you some strength via the internet, try to get some rest.
Congrats on the baby boy!!!

Oh Honey, I am so sorry things didn't go the way you planned. Maybe you could look at it in a bit of a different perspective. Maybe God was intervening on your plans to put you in a great place for your little guy to get the care he needed after birth. Maybe your plans being ruined was a blessing in disguise and because you ended up in the hospital you son had the best opportunity to live.

Hi. I just stumbled upon this post and wanted to offer some support. I hope you are feeling better. I hope you son is better.

I hope your bitterness over the delivery will ease in time. You did nothing wrong. You tried to have an emotional, natural home birth, then when the baby decided that it didn't want that, you did what any good mom does and did what was best for the baby.

In the end, it was a positive thing that you were around drs at the birth so that he could get treatment for his lung problems as soon as possible.

Hugs
M.

I am so sorry. I can't imagine how you must feel right now; I know I would feel the exact same way if I were you. Months (maybe even years) of looking forward to a home birth with natural deilvery, only to experience a second traumatic birth experience and a baby with some respiratory issues. I am sending you hugs right now. I know it will be hard for you to mourn the loss of the ideal birth experience you were hoping to have, and I wish you the best of luck in your recovery.

I am very glad that you and your baby are okay and I hope you both recover quickly and are able to go home as soon as possible. I hope that you guys are doing well with breastfeeding and that your whole family is doing well. Thanks for sharing your good news with us (even though it was mixed with bad news), and congratulations on your baby boy!

He is here and alive, you should be proud that he is in this world as your son. Don't beat yourself up, stuff happens.

Congratulations! You did GREAT! Your precious baby is here and you did what was needed to get him here. My second birth did not go how I wanted it to either, and my little guy had some problems, but it's all in the past now. In the end, the way he got here is way secondary to the fact that he is now here. Nothing that happened or didn't happen in the birthing process is going to change anything. Just focus now on your baby and all the love. I hope he and you are getting stronger by the minute and I wish you the best.

My son was born 12/31/10 and was 10lbs 2oz. We didn't have trouble with the delivery but he still had lung issues. The pediatrician told me that it is common for bigger babies to have excess fluid in their lungs, especially if they are not born vaginally, because they don't experience the "squeezing" from the birth canal that typically expells that fluid. He also had to be on oxygen for a couple days, and then he got jaundice (because they weren't letting me nurse and they weren't feeding him, either, due to the oxygen issues), so he had to do the bili lights!! Long story short he stayed in the hospital after I was released. It was so hard to leave him there but after two more days he was able to come home. I hope you will have a similar happy outcome. BTW, my son is now 7 months old and is doing great. We haven't had any more health concerns. Good luck to you.

First of all, congratulations!

You have done all you can, and some things are just beyond us. I do hope you will accept this, find your peace soon, and start enjoying your new son soon.

Hugs...

Congrats to you hun!!! I hope both of you have a quick recovery and i can not believe anybody would be nasty to you about your choices they are just that YOUR choices!!! I will keep you and corrin in my thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery!!! Much love to you mom!!! <3

I liked your bed-sharing answer so I clicked to see who you were and saw this post. Congratulations on having 2 beautiful children. Without all the details I wanted to let you know, "been there, done that" and got through it. In just a few blinks of an eye, when you see him playing with his big sister or running on the basketball court you will be amazed at who he is, this miracle you helped create, and you will be grateful to the wise people who were able to help make the NICU just a memory. I do find comfort in the old saying "People Make Plans and God Laughs". My son's birth humbles me and reminds me that sometimes we have got to "Let Go and Let God". I still find it hard to remember in my life, but I think my son is my living reminder of that lesson.

Try really hard to enjoy the blessings of today and not focus on the regrets of what didn't go as planned yesterday.

You and your family are on my mind and in my heart.

Good luck.

Wow--Pamela--I just read this (I'm a day late and a dollar short again!) and just wanted to say that you did the best you could with the circumstances dealt. I know you had a very specific birth plan in mind, but at the end of the day, you did what was best for you and your baby, right? Why would you feel regret about that? Congratulations on the new baby!

Oh forgive me!!! I too missed this post-I saw it but figured it was a "which do you prefer?" and I think I had already wasted enough time on the computer that day. I'm sorry. :(

CONGRATULATIONS!!! He is BEAUTIFUL!

Big, big hugs, Pamela! I understand birth disappointment. You did great though! I know you are sad/angry, but try not to dwell on it. It only takes from your moments w/ your family. I think sometimes I remember having obsessive thoughts of my 1st birth more than I remember my growing baby, and I hate that.
Oh goodness. You are in my thoughts and prayers and your handsome little fella too.
You are really a brave woman-don't forget that! I completely admire you for what you did.
Head up. Now go fight for that boy in the NICU. :)

More (((HUGS)))!!!

:( You changed your name so I completely overlooked this post.

Congrats! I'm glad he's here. I'll be thinking of you all. Please keep us updated on how he's doing.

I feel for you Mama! From an outsider looking in, it looks like you tried everything to get the birth you wanted. Be proud of that! It sounds cliche, but life doesn't always go according to plan. Concentrate on the positives- you have a beautiful new son who was born in a place where he was able to get the help he needs. You have a new addition to your family and when he's healthy enough, you will take that beautiful boy home with you.

I don't think it's fair to tell you that your baby is here and that's all that matters (not that anyone on here did). Going through childbirth is an intense personal experience and whether it is empowering or traumatizing, the experience remains with us. You may feel defeated now, but you might want to write your birth experience for yourself to help come to terms with it. My daughter was an unexpected home birth and the birth itself was wonderful. But my experience with the hospital immediately afterwards still ruins what was otherwise a beautiful moment in my life. They were awful. I wrote a letter to the hospital about my time there and while I never sent it, I felt a lot better for getting my words out.

Congrats on your new baby mama!

Congratulations Pamela! I am so sorry that you didn't get your HBAC but also happy that Corrin is here and it sounds like he will be okay? I know what you are going through - my CBAC baby will be one on 8/26 and I am having a very hard time planning his birthday party because honestly, I don't want to relieve everything that led up to the CBAC. I am so sorry that you had another traumatic birth. Please know that regardless of what other people may say to you - you have every right to grieve the loss of your planned HBAC. And you should process it.

Please, please, please contact your local ICAN group.

FL
ICAN of Sarasota-Bradenton
Sarasota/Bradenton

Contact: Erin Ernst
eMail Address: ____@____.com
Telephone: ###-###-####
Website: www.myspace.com/icanofsarabraden

FL
ICAN of Tampa
Tampa

Contact: Melissa Taylor
eMail Address: ____@____.com
Telephone: ###-###-####
Website: tampa.ican-online.org

Or Contact: Susan Williams
Telephone: ###-###-####

I'm guessing that you are closer to the Tampa group? They have two meetings per month. Get someone to drive you and go and begin to heal. Call Melissa (her info is above) - she is awesome.

A midwife told me that women are amazingly strong because we are the only animals who will willingly volunteer to be cut open in order to save our babies. No other animal will do such a thing. This is the ultimate act of love from a mother for her baby.

Praying for you, your family and your baby. Here is a huge virtual hug))C.

Congratulations :-)

Yes, you must look forward, your baby needs you now, in the present.
Enjoy that baby and this precious time.
Get help if you can't get past the delivery that didn't go as you planned.
I Planned to have an epidural in the hospital, baby had other ideas, he came so fast the nurses had to deliver him. I was terrified, but all turned out okay. That was 6 months ago and it is a faded memory.
Stay strong for your little ones.

Peace and hugs!