Going to Sleep

I have a 7mo old daughter as well. Do you have a night time routine? We do a bath every night, bottle then i hold for a little while she sleeps, then we make the "transfer". The Fischer Price Ocean Wonders Aquarium works also. Its some thing about the light and the music that puts her to sleep.

I'm reading this with much enthusiasm, becuase my 8 month old girls have started doing this too. I hope someone has some advice to share.

The only way to get over this is to let her "cry it out". I made the mistake of not doing this with my first daughter and now, 3 1/2 years later, she's still sleeping in my bed between my husband and me. On top of that, she stays up with me until I go to bed so in addition to not having any "couple" time in bed, we don't have any adult conversation either. I did a little better training my 18 month old. My husband will lay in our bed with her while she drinks her bottle and falls asleep. I'll go up 30 mins later and put her in her crib. She used to wake up during the transfer but I would put her in the crib, say lay down it's night night time, and walk out. Sometimes she would lay right down and go to sleep, but a few times she would scream. It would last 5 mins or so and then she'd stop. It only takes a few nights to train them. Do it now before she starts talking because it's a lot easier to ignore a cry than when they start throwing a "mommy" in with the tears.
***Important to keep in mind*** giving in now will only prolong the issue and you will deal with it for a long, long time.
Good luck and be strong.

Hi R.,
Do you have a cradle swing? I used to put my daughter in her's when she was a baby and it would help her to fall asleep.

My daughter, who is 22 months now, was like that too. She didn�t want to sleep alone, and you could forget about the crib. I worked, and I needed to wake up in the morning, and I was willing to do anything I needed to do to sleep, but I didn�t want her to get use to my bed, nor did I want to disturb my husband. So for the first few months I slept with her on the couch. Then I moved her into one of her chairs, which she couldn�t get out off on her own. It was one of those vibrating ones that played music. Eventually I got to sleep in my bed, and she slept on the floor next to me on her crib mattress, but of course being the nervous first time mom I was up every hour making sure she was ok. Then we got a twin bed, and the baby rails, and we (my daughter and I) slept in it together. Now she sleeps by herself, well at least half the night by herself. We have the baby gate up and when she wakes up I go in and comfort her. To be honest, if I didn�t have to get up in the morning I would just go back to my bed, but since it�s EASIER to just curl up with her, that is what I do. Besides, we get so little time with them, and it goes by so fast.
To sum it up; Do what you got to do!!!!! Weight your goods with your bads, and choose what�s best for you. Remember every choose has a consequence, so choose the one you can live with. I CHOOSE to sleep; my cost is I don�t do it in my bed next to my husband. And the reality is I might have to do this for a long time. OH well, I want to sleep!!
My best advice is to listen to everyone�s �stories�, but you do what works for you and your family.
I copied this from advice that I gave someone else who asked about sleeping babies a few months ago.

My son was born 3/16/05 - We had an issue with his formula - As it turned out he was lactose. Then it turned into colic. I was at my wits end trying to get him to go to sleep. I finally turned on the vaccume cleaner and he fell asleep. It really worked well for me as crazy as it sounds. My son is now 18 months old and every now and again I need to turnt he vaccume on near his crib. Good Luck!

R. I feel your pain caitlyn was like that just alittle bit thou we are trying to get her almost asleep then laying her on our bed next to us till she is fully out then transfering her to her bed also get some soothing music to play in her room that will help lul her to sleep and some soft light hope this works

You may want to look for a blanket that emits a low vibration that simulates a heart beat. Something like a low-heat heating blanket you can wrap her up in. Start by wrapping her up while you hold her. Sit in a chair or on your couch and read her a story or listen to some lulling bedtime cd's with the lights down low. Gradually move her to lay beside you wrapped up while you read, then start doing the same in her room sitting beside the crib. Then in the crib with the railing down, then eventually in the crib alone.

It sounds like she associates her room at night with being alone and scared. You need to, I guess, reprogram her so that she associates being in the room with being with you, snug and warm. It will take a few weeks, making the changes every three or four days (time depends on how she takes each step... fussy vs. contentedly). Just follow the same routine every night and she will become secure with each stepping stone.

Whatever you do don't give up. It's going to take a few months before she is going to recognize the recurring pattern and feel comforted by it. Don't do it for a few weeks and then give up if you're not getting immediate results. I made that mistake with my son, he's my first and I didn't know better. I just needed to sleep so bad that I let him sleep with me, or on a mattress beside my bed. Now he's three and wont go to sleep unless I go to bed with him.

I've seen my suggestion work. My sister has three children and after making my mistake with her first she tried this with her second and it did take some perseverance, but it did work.

~C.~

Have you tried giving her a warm bath with chamomile essential oil (if she isn't allergic) before bedtime? I even think Johnson & Johnson has something like this. The Chamomile Oil will relax your baby. You will benefit too :) Good luck!

Here is an article on Sleeping Through the Night/Middle of the Night Feeding:

Getting Baby to Sleep Through the Night: All babies will fall asleep eventually. Some just need a little more help than others.
By Barbara Solomon

Pulling Baby out of the Crib
Up to the time he was 10 months old, my son David had always been a good sleeper. Then my family moved into a new house, and all of a sudden, all bets were off. He began waking two, sometimes three times a night. I was sure he was just unsettled by the change and would return to his old ways soon. But after we tried every trick in the book only to suffer more sleepless nights, we caved in. One night when he called out, I scooped him up and brought him into our bed. We all slept soundly, and I was feeling pretty good -- until I spoke with a friend later that morning.

"Don't you know that you've opened a can of worms?" she scolded. "Now you'll never get him back into his crib!"

Picturing endless sleepless nights ahead, I panicked, and it's no wonder. Getting a baby to sleep consistently through the night can seem like the ultimate unattainable goal. But after I spent just a few nights leaving my son in his crib when he cried for me and gently encouraging him -- "You're okay, David, just go back to sleep!" -- from the hallway, he quickly resumed his old sleep habits. And experts say that with some patience and effort, most parents will be able to solve their child's sleeping problems, too.

The Impossible Dream
During the first weeks of life, you can't expect a baby to sleep through the night. In fact, there is no typical sleeping pattern for newborns; the only thing you can count on is that they sleep around the clock for varying periods, ranging from a few minutes to a few hours. So why can't they sleep consistently for long periods? Blame it all on biology. An immature brain is the primary reason.

"People have a genetic timing mechanism in their brain that controls sleep, and it takes time for that mechanism to develop," explains Marc Weissbluth, MD, professor of clinical pediatrics at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine, in Chicago, and author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (Ballantine, 1999). "Think of it like eye color: Babies are born with a genetic predisposition to a certain eye color, but it takes time for that color to be expressed."

A need to feed is another factor. Many experts believe that newborn babies have to eat frequently, particularly breastfed babies: There's no way to tell how much a breastfed baby is eating at each feeding, so breastfeeding mothers may be more likely to fully awaken a stirring baby to feed.

Bottlefed babies, on the other hand, may sleep for longer periods because formula takes longer to digest and leaves baby feeling fuller longer. "But babies who have birth defects and are fed continuously by tube for the first several weeks of life show the same process of sleep maturation as other babies," notes Dr. Weissbluth. He believes that ultimately, "Sleep comes from the brain, not the stomach."

Regardless of studies and experts, until she is at least 6 weeks old, a newborn baby will undoubtedly wake several times during the night. Around the 6-week mark, many babies show subtle signs of organizing their sleep. They may get drowsy at 6 or 7 p.m. and may sleep at night for consecutive blocks of four hours or more.

At about 3 months, most can adhere to a sleep schedule that includes a morning nap, an afternoon nap, and two or more longer blocks of sleep at night. According to a poll of primary caregivers by the National Sleep Foundation (NSF), a nonprofit organization, by 9 months some 70 to 80 percent of babies are sleeping a straight 9 to 12 hours every night.

That's great news -- unless yours is one of the 20 to 30 percent of babies who don't sleep so well. "My son was a horrible sleeper!" recalls Lisa Henahan of Peachtree City, Georgia. "Until he was 15 months, he would sleep for an hour and a half and then wake for an hour -- all night long!"

If your nights sound similar, rest assured, these tips can help parents solve a range of stubborn sleep problems.

Sleep Tight, Baby
To exhausted parents it seems that there are as many sleep issues as there are children. But most babies fall into the following categories:

"My 2-month-old son sleeps all day and is up all night."
A common phenomenon during the early weeks of life, day-night reversals often clear up with a little time and a lot of daylight. Try exposing your baby to bright light or sunshine in the morning hours and keep the lights dim in the evening. It also helps to move your baby to a busy part of the house throughout the day, play with him during the daytime, and wake him for daytime feedings.

Then, keep your interactions with him quiet and subdued at night. As babies approach the age of 6 weeks, they begin to respond more to environmental cues, so it helps to have a bedtime routine such as a bath and a song. It may take several weeks, and a baby this young still probably won't sleep through the night, but he may consolidate his sleep into two large blocks at night.

"My 7-month-old daughter won't sleep through the night. Why?"
From around 6 months on, a baby should be able to make it through the night without a middle-of-the-night feeding and without waking his parents. But that doesn't mean he's sleeping all those hours. The term "sleeping through the night" is misleading, points out Lawrence Balter, PhD, professor of applied psychology at New York University, in New York, and editor of Parenthood in America: An Encyclopedia (ABC-CLIO, 2000). "All people -- including babies -- wake and put themselves back to sleep several times a night without realizing it," he says. "That's something babies need to learn to do."

Some kids learn on their own; others need a little help. There are several ways to teach your baby to soothe himself to sleep. Most of them involve listening to some crying. So how do you stay focused amid the tears? Remember that crying isn't going to harm your baby. And the reward -- a good night's sleep for all -- is worth a few teary nights.

The Ferber Method
"My neighbor has recommended the Ferber method to help my 6-month-old sleep through the night. What is it?"
This method was developed by pediatric sleep expert Richard Ferber, MD, author of Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems (Simon & Schuster, 1986). He advises parents to check periodically on their baby when she awakens at night. Here's a sketch of how it works: On the first night, when you hear your baby cry, you go in, give her a reassuring pat, and then leave. If she's crying 5 minutes later, you repeat the process, but this time you wait 10 minutes before going in, increasing the time in five-minute increments. The second night, you start at 10 minutes. Dr. Ferber's system has worked for many families.

"We're trying the Ferber method for my 7-month-old, but I can't stand the crying. Is there another, less drastic way to sleep-train my baby?"
There are also ways of making gradual changes within the routine you already have, notes Jodi Mindell, PhD, associate director of the Sleep Disorders Center at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and author of Sleeping Through the Night (HarperCollins, 1997). If you've been putting your baby to sleep by rocking her in a chair, for example, start by just sitting in the chair together. "Then choose the next step -- putting your baby in his crib and holding his hand.

"A few days later, you can sit three feet away from your child's bed," Mindell says. Within a few weeks, you should be able to work yourself out of the bedroom.

"We've tried the Ferber method. My 6-month-old becomes enraged every time we go in to soothe him. Any suggestions?"
Some children respond better to a cold-turkey approach. If your baby cries, you don't go in her room (some parents call reassuringly from the hall). This is not for the faint of heart, and, as Balter points out, is better for younger babies. An 8-month-old may be able to sit or stand in her crib, which makes it hard for her to settle down if her calls aren't answered.

More Sleep Issues
"My 9-month-old insists on a 3 a.m. feeding. How can I get her to give it up?"
For many parents, a final obstacle to an uninterrupted night is that middle-of-the-night feeding. If your baby no longer needs to be fed at night (check with your pediatrician to be sure), simply stop giving him the bottle or breast when he calls for it. Alternatively, you can use a sequence of progressive steps, which might include offering him diluted formula or breast milk for a few nights and then gradually replacing it with water. He may not find it as appealing as milk, and, subsequently, won't cry for it.

"My 10-month-old son used to sleep through the night, but lately he's been waking up all the time."
Chances are, there's been some change, however subtle, in your child's routine. Everything from a vacation to an illness to an overnight guest can disrupt a young child's sleep schedule and cause her to awaken and need comforting. Some parents report that developmental milestones, such as learning to walk or use the potty, can also upset sleep patterns.

"When a child takes a developmental leap forward, neurons are firing and there are probably connections being made in the brain," says Mindell. "It's no wonder their sleep is disrupted." Most babies are also keen on practicing their new skills; when they wake in the night, sleep takes second place to getting up on all fours or babbling.

At times like this, you may need to repeat old steps, such as sitting in your baby's room for a few nights and gradually working your way back out. But don't despair; experts say children with established good sleep patterns will return to them pretty quickly.

"How can I get my 8-month-old to go to sleep at the same time every night?"
If your baby isn't sleepy at the same time every night, her daytime sleep routine may need tweaking. "Make sure to wake her at the same time each morning, keep naptimes consistent, and avoid letting baby nap after 4 p.m. A reasonable bedtime for a baby this age is around 7 or 7:30 p.m. If she wakes from a nap at 5:30, she's not going to be sleepy enough to go to bed then," says Mindell.

One strategy to avoid, however, is shortening her naps in the hope that this will make her sleepier at night. The fact is, overtired children have a hard time falling asleep. And evidence shows that babies aren't getting enough sleep as it is. Many experts recommend that infants ages 3 to 11 months get 14 to 15 hours of sleep daily, but according to the NSF poll, most babies get fewer than 13 hours.

Even if you've succeeded in creating a great sleeper, remember that every child occasionally has wakeful periods. When this happens, reassure yourself that you're not going to be sleepless forever. Says Peggy Nona, a Rochester, Minnesota, mother with two school-age girls, "I used to worry about getting them to bed at night; now I worry about getting them out in the morning!"

Barbara Solomon is a mother of three and a writer in Scarsdale, New York.

Originally published in American Baby magazine, July 2004.

In addition to that....

A local parenting coach wrote this:

I know that Dr. Ferber is less strict than he used to be about getting kids to sleep. However, his techniques are still very useful for kids that have actually taught themselves to stay up and/or to demand/expect a parent to be with them until they actually fall asleep. Also watch one of the Nanny TV shows for examples of being firm yet loving with setting limits.

Briefly, the basic idea is that you (1) stop paying any attention to your child after their bedtime--no hugs, kisses, stories and no yelling either. Just make believe they are little critters that you are putting back where they belong. and then, if necessary (2) let them cry themselves to sleep. Also, and actually first, develop a bedtime routine and STICK TO IT! Letting them cry is very hard, and against some people's principles. What we did when my daughter was little (she is now 21) was put her to bed with the musical mobile playing. If she was still crying when the music stopped (less than 5 minutes) we would go in to her. This happened very rarely. I felt that a short period of crying was not a trauma and having her go to sleep on her own was a learned response. It worked and we had very few bedtime hassles.

Good luck,

Marion
Coach and parent
Marion C. Bloch, Psy. D.
____@____.com
www.mayaresources.com

did u just move maybe it is some kind of change. If this is the case you may have to make her fuss her self to sleep all over again

my daughter did the same thing so what i tryed was i'd put her into her swing and got a nice soft fuzzy blanket wrapped it around her and she would fall asleep in the swing and it helps if it is a swing that is battery operated then it swings all nite and eventually she got used to being by herself and finally slept in her crib i also tryed leaving a light on that wasnt to bright some children just dont like being in the dark please dont let her get in the habbit of sleeping with you i did that with my first child and he is now 6 yrs old and still comes into my bed in the middle of the night every now and then its a hard habit to break and you can also try letting her cry it out just go in every 5 min at first to let her no everything is ok then the next go every 10 min and so on it will work but it takes patience

I am going through the same thing with my 8 month old. Let me know what works!!!!!!!

Hi,
I have seven children myself. I can tell you from experience that if she is not ill, then she has only shifted her sleep patterns. She will go through this for a while and then shift again. I went through that with all of my kids who range from 26yrs down to 5years. My youngest two are still changing. Only not quite as often. What helped was down time. Start by closing the shades, turn down the tv, speak in hushed tones, and keep in mind to do this about the same time every night, and gradually she will get the hint so to speak. Good luck.

although most people don't agree with me, i slept with my daughter everytime she napped. she would never sleep without me, and besides tell me as new mother that you couldn't use a nap?! yes the house work gets a little neglected but for real, what's more important, rest and peace of mind, or both of you being out of your mind with exhaustion and the dishes being pushed back?