Going Through a divorce........and I Lost Many friends...why???

It's the nature of the beast. The most common reason is friends have to pick between the husband or the wife. They either pick one or avoid both. Don't try to analyze it. It will drive you crazy and you have enough on your mind right now. There are a lot of reasons and the reasons are things that don't always make sense. (I've told my husband many times not to try and figure out stupid people. It's not something you are capable of! Scared people fall in this category too) Your true friends will stay with you through thick and thin. Appreciate them and know they are the ones you can trust.

God bless!

M.

Have you reached out to them to see if they want to get together, or are you just assuming they have taken his side? If there are a couple that meant a lot to you, call them and see if they want to meet for lunch. If they blow you off you will know for sure, and that will tell you that they are not the kind of friends you need in your life right now anyway. Find a class or group you are interested in so you can meet like minded people you can form new friendships with, relationships that have no holdings in a past that is now over. If you do end up meeting up with some of the old friends, I would avoid talking about your X or the divorce. Since they are friends with you both tey may feel you are trying to force them to take sides.

Ebunny,
You know what? If they are not your friends now, you might be better off! It is all up to you if you want to tell them the truth. They probably have 'his' side of the story and anything you say may sound as if you are trying to get back at him and hurt him. Friends that don't have your back nor care to find out both sides before they make their decision of who they want to remain friends with, (remind you I think sometimes depending on the situation you can be friends with both, you may end your relationship with your spouse, but you don't have to end a relationship with a friend. They are two very different types of relationship) are not real friends.
Unless, one of them comes and asks you; don't go on telling. Like I said, it will make it sound as you are the problematic one, trying to get him in trouble and give him a bad reputation. Don't sweat you little head about it, sooner or later the truth will come out without you having to say a word.
Pick up your pieces, dust yourself off, put your head high and keep on walking. God will bless you with better loyal friends.

.

l

Friends hate to take sides, it's likely your ex's old friends will go with him and yours, stay with you. It was very hard for me to see some of our old friends (his), I was always concerned they just wanted to get gossip about me and report back to my ex, and for a while I avoided them myself. My now-husband encouraged me to reopen the lines of communacion after 10 years and now we are good friends again. Let bygones be bygones.

I have been in the same position as you are in now. Yes, Divorce stinks, and yes you will lose some of your friends that you both made over the relationship. But think of it this way... you now know who are your true friends and who are not, and you can move on from there. Just be yourself and you will make plenty of new people that will like you for who you are! Just take baby steps day to day and you will just be fine :)

Do you really want them? Why? Time will reveal the truth for them. Good luck!

if you haven't told your truth then people have heard one side of the story, and they're not siding with you. regardless, the choice was yours, and you're going through a divorce. if you cannot rely on your friends now, then for sure, you do not need them in your life.
you'll make new friends in your new life. hang in there

ditto mimi and ivonne

We all go through it, and while I know how tempting it is to tell everyone who will listen your side of it, you should probably take the high road and just not discuss it with people who were friends with you both. They feel like they have to take sides, etc., and and it can cause problems in their marriage if they disagree on whose side to take.

A couple of other thoughts...watching someone else's marriage end, especially if those on the outside thought it was wonderful, can make people nervous about their own lives. Something along the lines of if it can happen to them, what will keep it from happening to us? The other thought is that if these are all couples, they may be afraid you will be uncomfortable in a setting with only couples. You're going to have to make the first move and invite those you feel closest to out and let them know what you would be comfortable with.

Best of luck with this new stage of your life. It really does get better!

the same thing happened to my husband in his first divorce. All of their friends were suddenly "her" friends only. The only thing to do is accept that if your friends would drop you over something like this, you dont need them as friends anyway.

could it be that some of these friends you may not have anything in common with after the divorce? maybe you guys were friends becaue you were a unit with your husband and you did the married stuff together. They are probably not calling him either.
Hope this does not sound cold but you are now embarking on a new life with new experiences. You will find new friends. And true friends will not leave you. Could be that a few of them just don't know what to say and that's why you have not heard from them.
Good luck and things will get better.