Giving up the Passi...

My daughters dr said that toddlers usually live by a 3 day rule. Basically it takes about 3 days to get over something like taking away the passi. So when I took hers just before age 2 she screamed the first night and whined for it all day the next day but it tapered off as the day went on and the second night she just cried a little bit then went to sleep. The second day she only asked for it a couple time close to nap time that night she asked for it but didnt cry. The 3rd day she didnt ask for it at all and that night and for several night after she would ask but I reminded her she was a big girl and that the trash men took them to babies who needed them (that what we told her) and she was over it. I think just stick to it and take it. Yes you might have a few rough days but it will only get harder the longer you wait. Yes passis can harm their teeth and that will cost you in braces later on.

Hi E.,
You are not alone girl! My daughter will be 2 on Sept 2nd and I had said the same thing. I've personally decided at this point to let her keep it but let her have it less and less. She seems to bite on it a lot and not suck so much anymore so I'm hoping she'll kind of put it down on her own (LOL!).I tell her she's a big girla nd she doesn't need it. Anyway, I am a softie so we'll see how it goes. I have heard also the best way is to do what you're doing. I have also heard of the passie fairy. Tell him the passie fairy is going to bring it to a baby and the fairy leaves him a present. (That was how Super Nanny did it). Best of luck!

We cut a little of the tip of the paci every two or three days. He noticed the difference right away, but as the nipple got smaller he started to lose interest. Then the nipple got so small he would just carry the paci around with him and not even try to put it into his mouth. He would say his paci was broken. It was a very pleasant way to get rid of the paci! Good luck! :)

When my son was two everybody told me I needed to take his. I tried everything and finally took it cold turkey too. It was the worst week of my life. I don't know if he remembers it but it was VERY traumatic to me. lol When my daughter turned two everybody said the same thing. I just smiled and said that when she was ready would be soon enough. When she turned three I got concerned because of the gap the pacifier was leaving in her teeth and the dentist said no permanent damage would be left until her permanent teeth came in. About six months before she turned four I started telling her that the four year old class was for big girls and that big girls didn't take a pooey. On her fourth birthday I asked her if she was ready to be a big girl. She said yes and it was that easy. I just thought WOW what a different experience from my son. I'm sure people starred because she was so old but I never paid any attention. Just like the dentist said the gap in her teeth closed within two or three months. With the exception of the one between her two front teeth that she inherited from her dad. ;o) I firmly believe that a child will let you know when they are ready for things like that. I wish you luck and hope that taking it from your little guy is as easy as it was taking it from my daughter.

I was the paci horror story as a child- I sucked a paci until I was almost 6 years old. My parents ever took it away. I guess they were waiting for me to do it? lol I also wore braces twice to fix problems with my teeth and bite. Not sure if it was related, but it definitely didn't help. It's your responsibility to take it away. Cold turkey is unpleasant, but works. It won't happen overnight so be consistent and this time will soon be behind you. The other way is to put something foul tasting on the paci bulb- dip in lemon juice, vinegar, etc. That works too, esp if you have a strong willed child that has to do EVERYTHING on their own terms. Good luck!

Hi E.
I had that problem when my child was that age. i would take a little castor oil and coadtthe pacci. Everytime he ask for it that is what he got.It worked for me,and it is not going to hurt him,it will help.email me at ____@____.com and let me know if it works for you. good luck

There is no other way. You don't want all his security tied up in a pacifier. Believe me. I am the older sister of a little boy who for one reason of another had his binkie and blankie until he was four. My brother was clingy and needy. As for my experience with my kids well the only one out of three that took the pacifier had it taken away at 20 months old and it was the best thing I ever did for him. Yes the first three days were a little rough but I stuck it out and you can too. After that he started talking my ear off and hasn't stopped in the last 10 years. It's like all of parenting, you have to experience a little rough time in setting some boundaries in order to enjoy watching them grow up.

Sorry I'm late w/this (worked 16 hrs today).

You can do it any gentle, subtle, long-enduring way you please, but but if you've started the 'cold turkey' thing, I'd suggest keeping it up! It will only take a few days (that will seem like forever while going through them), but then it's OVER -- FOREVER!

Hang in there girl, there are no good ways. Our oldest was over 3 when we took it away. It was a nightmare 3-5 days. After that he never even mentioned it. With our youngest we took it away at 6 months:)Paci did make things so much easier though, it was an instant "calmer"......We were in the car other day , boys(now 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 ) were screaming from being tired on the long trip, I had pacis in the bag(got it for a friend).....new pack of 2....I almost gave it to them:) WHy do they have to be so bad for teeth???:(
L.
http://nomoreboringclothes4boys.blogspot.com/

Hey There,
I posted something similar a few months ago and got great advice that I'm passing along to you. I didn't read the responses below yet, but try cutting the tip of the paci. I was really wary of doing so because I too, felt like a horrible mother taking away something so 'secure' for my son, but it really worked! I cut it and gave it to him before a nap, it immediately popped out of his mouth which he thought was hilarious. He kept looking at it and trying it and I just explained to him that it broke. I kept offering it to him, but in two days he stopped wanting it. It was the best way to do it for us. However, I will say that he immediately went from 2 naps to 1 right after and started waking up earlier in the mornings :-(. Good luck!

Well I don't think it will hurt him. My daughter in law when my grandson was old enough to make conclusions talked about it with him and they both deceided that it was time to quit "the habit" not much later. Don't do cold turkey it is too hard on everyone.

If you can wait unitl Christams. Get all of his passies together and give them to the BABIES that don't have any. Tell him he is doing a wonderful thing and that these babies don't have any and that they would really like one. It work for me when I was little. That's how my parents talked me into giving up mine. Good Luck!!!

With my 5 kids (3 of them used pacifier) I took them away at 1 yr old along with the bottle. It went very smoothly. They were not old enough to really "have a fit" like 2 yr olds do. I introduced a sippy cup with the soft sipper. The new cup occupied them long enough to forget about the pacifier and bottle. I know that all kids are different...this just worked for us.

With our son (2.5 now) we didn't quite go cold turkey, we started first by saying he could only have it for "night night" and he was allowed to have it for naps and bedtime. When he asked for it other times in the day, we told him he had to lie down in bed with it and he lost interest. Then we got rid of it for sleeping after one night he fell asleep without it. We made a big deal of that being a "big boy" stage and hid them all away after that. He was mad for a few days but eventually started asking to sleep with stuffed animals instead. It's funny, because he'll still get mad and demand one if he sees one in his dresser even though he's been off them a year. But he's over it. Good luck.

I would suggest reading the No Cry Sleep Solution.

E.~
your baby sounds adorable. Two isn't too bad to still have a passi;but if he has alot of teeth in his mouth, it may make them stick out like a "buck tooth eventually.soo-o-o you could let him go to sleep with one, and then put a small cut in the nipple; it will not re-inflate~ tell him he bit it off. Can't be fixed. Let him carry it around with him, he may just throw it away himself. Then distract him with other things. Soft music or a bedtime story to help sleep. Maybe lay down with him until he gets sleepy. Good luck.
Ag

Hi E., I have been there and trust me, it's never fun...you will always feel like the bad momma.... BUT, there is a better way, that worked for us at least. I know that you have probably heard of taking the bottle by the "signs?" Well we took pacifiers that way as well. If you have someone in your family or friends that has an almanac or calendar that will tell the signs, it has to be in the thighs going down. If it is in anything above the bowels when you start it will not work. Start at the thigh and by the time it gets back to the stomach or bowel area they are over it. I know it sounds crazy, but it does make a huge difference. I did this with 3 of my 4 children and it made a big difference. Our bodies are affected by the changes in the moon so it seems. If you don't have access to this info, please feel free to contact me, I will find out for you. In the meantime, I would recommend that you give it back and start another day when the signs are right.
Best of luck and God Bless.
G.

My daughter was 2 when we did this - and looking back, I think she was too young. Every child matures at a different rate, but I think after age 3, it looks a little ridiculous. Here's how we did it: we eventually got her down to one passi. All other passi's had been secretly discarded over time. Then one afternoon when she was busy playing, my husband snipped a corner off her passi. Later on when she put it in her mouth, she got a funny look on her face, then grabbed it out and cried, "passi's broken!" She was so mad - at the passi! At age 2, she had no idea we could've just gone out and bought another one. She slept horrible that night - not really crying, just agitated. It probably took a week before she was over the passi habit. We had a little ceremony of throwing the broken passi away and she even watched as the trash truck drove it away. For months she said, "mailman took my passi" because she got the mailman and the trash truck people mixed up. The technique was successful, I just think she was too young.

yes the paci is that bad... the sooner you take it away the better.... i was a paci sucker until around age 4... my daughter age 3 and now a thumb sucker... getting rid of the paci sucked!!
however the way we did it was when ever she would "loose" one we just woldnt replace it. and we told her we wernt buying anymore it worked... however we waited so long that she realized she could use her thumb. i had braces for about 5 years and my daughter will have to have them too all because of that damn paci... get rid of it! good luck i know its hard

my son was around 17-18 months and we cut the ends off of his. then when i handed it to him he said paci broke and handed it back, that was it! he did ask for it a few times but never any screaming about it

The passi is a source of support and comfort, much like breastfeeding. I know many kids with perfect teeth that had their passi much longer than three and they were fine. Please consider giving it back and weaning him off of it when he shows signs of readiness rather than using some date on the calendar.

Hi E., Sucking is so important to some little onese. Don't feel that he absolutely has to give it up at this point. My son gave his around 2 1/2. What we did for a number of months was had it reserved just for bed time. He ended up having an accident and falling on his front tooth. He couldn't suck on it or anything for a few days. The dentist told us and him that he needed to give it up now because it was affecting his teeth. So, when he was able to use a paci again at bedtime and wanted it we explained that the dentist told us it wasn't good for his teeth. He wanted it for about 2 or 3 nights ... but it wasn't a big ordeal - and then we were done!

Maybe slowly reduce the use to bedtime and then ... without the catalyst that we had ... you could take your son to the dentist and make her or him the "heavy". Having the dentist and then you informing him that he shouldn't use it because it would affect his teeth. Something like that.

Good luck!
D..

We waited until our daughter was 3 and then told her the Binky Fairy needed it for other babies. Our daughter got her binkies ready and when the binky fairy came (sometime in the night) she left a note and small gifts behind. We had weaned her to only use the binky for naps and bedtime by that time so it wasn't quite so traumatic and she was ok because she knew that other babies would get to use them.

I think it was easier at 3 because she was starting to wean herself and she could understand better the idea of giving them to others.

Hi E.;
Well, you did what I did when my daughter was 16 months. Um, yeah, well, it will be rough for a week or two. That is how long it took my daughter to stop asking for it. BE STRONG! Once you have taken it, there is no going back! Just grin and bear it and it will be over in a matter of days. If you cave and give it back, it will only be harder later, I mean REALLY hard!

Hang in there!
A. F.

My son is 27 months old and only has his passy at night time. We have removed it very slowly. When he was about 1.5 we only let him have it during naps, car rides, and at bed time. We have removed it from the car rides and naptimes, and now he only has it at bedtime. At 3, we will take it away all together.

I have never liked the cold turkey thing. I think it seems very outdated and cruel. Remember, those who are giving you the "constant advice" will never know your child like you do. Just because that's the way the parent, doesn't mean that you HAVE to follow. You parent how YOU feel is the correct way. Honestly, I think it is very rude when other parents try and tell other moms how to parent their children. It's absolutely NOT cool! I don't see those other moms telling people to take away their small child's "blankie", or stuffed animal, or other "comfort item". Why the big deal about the passy as long as it's not bothering the teeth or mouth? (We use a type of passy that doesn't bother the teeth.)

We had another baby in the family (a cousin) and we gave it to the baby. I told mine the baby needed it then my cousin slipped it back to me. When they would ask for it I just reminded them the baby had it and they got a new toy for giving it to her.

E.,

I'm one of the parents that will tell you to take it away cold turkey. So I applaud your efforts in doing that. With that said, you should know that it takes 1 week to make something a habit and 3 weeks to break a habit. So my advice would be to replace the paci with something else. Maybe you should take him to the store and buy him a lovey or some other type of comfort device. When my oldest son was 1 year old I took the paci away from him. It was hard because he was used to having it to sleep with and nap with. So night times were horrible. He didn't miss it during busy times. So I bought him a stuffed leopard and gave it to him and he got used to snuggling with it every night. It was a trade off. My son is 8 and he still has his leopard to sleep with. My youngest son has never wanted the paci so it was no issue with him. But your son is old enough to talk to about getting a lovey or a comfy to replace the paci. Take him to Wal-Mart or Target and let him pick out his lovey. It's all about security because at 2 years old they no longer have the sucking reflex or the constant need to suck on something. Whatever you do - don't give him the paci back because you will be starting a square one. Again, in a couple of weeks you will see that everything is okay. Hang in there and good luck.

The pacifier is not bad. It's good. It helps keep the kid calm and relaxed. It also helps prevent thumb sucking which will ruin their teeth. There is no reason to take the paci away yet. Why the arbitrary age anyway. The kid is not much different than he was the day before he turned 2. Besides, we expect so much of these little guys all at once. Every kids is different but my older kid was done with his paci at 2.5 and my daughter just turned 2 and we have no intention of taking it away any time soon. Why is our culture so obsessed with preventing attachment? The lack of attachment is like a disease that leads to all kinds of mental health problems. I encourage attachment by spending time with my kids and allowing blankies, lovies (favorite stuffed animal), and pacifiers. My kids are bright, very friendly, confident and adventerous.

My daughter is almost 2 1/2 now. She has been sleeping with a paci her whole life. She just has it for naps and bedtime and thats been the rule for a year now. Well, she got sick and developed blisters on her tongue so she wouldnt use the paci because it hurt. I decided to use this as a way to stop the paci forever. Well, after a week and a half of not sleeping well at all, I gave it back. I decided sleep was more important than not having the paci! I dont know, I dont see why its so harmful. It falls out most of the night anyway :) Now she sleeps again and we are happy! Sorry I dont have any better advice, but thought maybe this would take away some angst that well-meaning advisors can give.

My son is 16 months old and we got rid of the passi (binky) about 3 weeks ago... we started about 2 months ago by just making sure he didnt have it in his mouth when he didnt need it - like when he was playing. Then after a little bit, we started only giving it to him for nap, bed time, and if he got really upset or hurt. Then one weekend night i gave him his blankey and just thought - i'll try it and he did fine - so the next day at nap he fell asleep in the car without it and from then on i just made sure he never saw one - and now they are all put up and he hasnt had one in forever!!! Of course it may be a little harder with a 2 year old who "understands" a little bit more. But i am so happy now that we are done with the binky!! Good Luck!!

Hello E.. That is a pretty name by the way, anyways. I wanted to give you some advice to your problem. But first let me ask you a question. Did your child's doctor tell you that it wasn't necessary for your child to have that passi after a year old or something close to that? Well, let me tell you. I didn't listen to my child's doctor when he instructed me to take it away cold turkey. I just let my son have it til HE TOLD ME he didn't want it anymore. But, if you are like me, you want either your child to let you know when he is done with it, or take it away gradually. If you want to take it away gradually, then start by taking in away during the day, not at night. Just give it to him at night so your child and you can sleep. Then slowly don't give it to him whenver he cries, then go from there. If a doctor told you that, don't listen to him, because they pretty much base their information on the passi from at least one or two other kids, but they aren't your child, so whenever you feel as your child's mother to take it away, then do so gradually. The passi isn't so bad, but don't let your child go beyond 2 and a half, because by then your child would be too old to have one, and by then it could start affecting your child's teeth.