My brother knows someone who can get us all free tickets to a live show that my dad has been wanting to go to. We were planning on giving my dad the tickets for his birthday. Normally my brother and I spend about $25 each on my dad, as money is tight and he's hard to buy for.
These tickets are worth $50 each. My mom and dad know of my brother's connection so they know the tickets are free.
My mom says because the tickets are free, we should go out and spend what we usually spend to get him an additional gift. I was hoping to give him the tickets and something else small to save on money. This is money we can use for Christmas!
What would you do? To be honest, my dad would be perfectly happy with just having his family around him on his birthday, or getting a few presents. It's like pulling teeth to get my dad to tell us what he wants as he's one of those people that doesn't really want much. It's my mom that's throwing the fit!
(Still, I don't want my dad to think his kids are cheap and don't love him!)
A gift is a gift. Regardless of what it cost you or how you acquired it. I see no need in spending additional money.
I don't see anything wrong with just giving him tickets to a show that he has wanted to go to. A gift is a gift; it's not about the money spent. I think he'll love it! :)
Every person gives their own gifts or chooses not to, that's life. This isn't your Mom's decision, it's yours.
I'd tell him that although you got the tickets for free, you're giving him some $$$ in the ticket envelope for the drinks, food, parking etc. The night out will be cost free for him. And so much nicer a gift than you would ordinarily have been able to afford. He'll love it.
Oh my! Most mothers say to save your money and do not spend it on them..
This is odd. I do not think you need to spend any money on anything else.. Maybe you can "Buy him a card" to put the tickets in.
Very strange. Has she always been this way or is this out of line for her normal behavior?
If it is odd, She may need to get a full check up.
Oh my gosh, it should totally be the gift - no need to spend extra! After all, it's not about what you're spending - you have finally found a decent gift idea for him and this should be enough to be excited about. Don't listen to your mom on this one, it's a fantastic idea!
I would not care how my kids got my gifts, so long as it was legal.
Uhm, it's not your Mothers birthday so she can take her hissy fit and take a hike.
Get your Dad a card and write him a special note that tells him how happy you are to share with him an event that you know he will really enjoy. Tell him that knowing it's something he is looking forward to makes it even more special to you.
It doesn't matter what amount you spend, so even if the gift is free it truly is the thought that counts. Spending money just to say you put cash down for a gift is silly. If you can get something meaningful for little to no cash, do it!
I think your mom is being pretty crappy. She should be sensitive to people in this economy and the fact that that is what your DAD wants is what should matter. The cost and/or how you got them should not be a factor at all. In fact, my husband and I just got back from Vegas last weekend. We had a problem with our room and they comped us a $250 room credit to be used for "food". Well, guess what? The expensive chocolate shop is considered "food" so we spent all the money on gourmet candy to give away for Christmas. Our family will LOVE it and won't care that we didn't actually "pay" for it. I would just ignore your mom, she is embarrassing herself and you should probably tell her that. Good luck!!!
The heart of the gift is the true thing to consider. If your dad would love the tickets, then give him the tickets. Do not feel like you have to spend money and buy him something else. Be thankful that the gift is free to you. I think your mom is wrong, and it demonstrates the affluence of our nation and the attitude that the amount of money spent = love. Make sure you spend time with your dad, express your love for him to him, and enjoy the celebration. How much you physically spend is a non-issue to me.
Your mom sounds like my mom. There is no need for you and your brother to spend money you don't have. How lucky you are to get the tickets!!?
Get him a nice card and have fun at the concert!
Hopefully your mom will understand.
Good luck!
D.
I personally think that's a little presumptuous of your mother to tell you that since the tix are free, you still need to spend money on a gift for your dad. Sounds like the event would be something that your dad will enjoy! Have fun!
I completely agree with you and think mom is way out of line. Did anyone ever tell her "it's the thought that counts"? Did she take into consideration that your brother is calling in a favor for this, and that rather than get tickets for a show your brother wants to see, he's using his favor for dad?
Get dad something for $10 and tell mom you spent $25. Or take dad to the event and treat him to desert after the show.
I don't think you have to spend the money in addition to the gift of the tickets, but I think it would be nice to do a personal gift in addition to the tickets. Perhaps make him something special, get him his favorite food, whatever. Just something to open that he'll enjoy.
I think it's fine to give him the tix and something small on the side, maybe money so he can get something from the show. Everyone is cutting corners these days and shopping clearance racks for Christmas. Plus, it's still a great gift regardless of cost.
My mom would never say something like that to me.
I've been a single mom a long time. She would much rather see me spend money on my kids. I always get her something though. She is really easy to please. She doesn't care if I find something for 50 cents at a thrift store as long as she really loves it. She is a collector of several different things and I've found her some really nice one of a kind things for almost nothing.
It shouldn't be about how much is spent. It should be about the thought and the enjoyment of the gift by the person receiving it.
Just my opinion.
I think it's the thought that matters.
I don't care if someone gives me a gift that cost them an arm and a leg or one that they got free. I care that they thought enough of me to want to give me a gift. I certainly don't think they owe it to me to spend money.
Maybe have the whole family go out to a nice dinner before or after the show. I am sure he would love just spending time with his family.
Make him a gift, like some nice cookies or a cake :)
Wow, no disrespect towards your mother, but, where does she get off telling you what you need to spend on your father??
A few weeks ago I won an eReader from my dentist's office. I already have an iPad (has an eReader on it), so I called my mom to ask her if she wanted it. She said she'd love to have it, and that I should consider it my Christmas present to her and then instructed me that I am absolutely not allowed to buy her an additional gift. We make probably 3 times as much as my parents do, but she told me not to spend any more money on her.
I think as long as you are honest about the origins of the gift, you should give it and it should be accepted as THE gift. After all, is the point of giving a gift how much money you spend on a person, or finding something for someone that they will love and appreciate?
If you are going to a live show, buy him something while you are there. Spend 10, rather than 25.
He knows you got the tickers for free and they didn't give any to him to begin with? How odd. I would expect them to do that before giving them to you...
I would count them not as a gift.
