You aren't doing anything wrong! It is just the way kids are. They test boundaries and it takes awhile to learn to take ownership for their actions. Some never learn because someone (usually a parent meaning well) swoops in and rescues them. The best thing I can recommend is Love and Logic by Jim Fay. If you look back at my profile and see how many times I have recommend this book, you would think I am getting a kick back from Jim Fay himself! LOL but I am not. I have just used his strategies as a teacher and parent and it is just bares sharing over and over again. Jim Fay is all about solving problems logically and with empathy so you can keep your cool and keep your child accountable for whatever choice he makes. If he makes the right one-great, but even if he makes the wrong one-even better because it is an opportunity to learn from the mistake! Here is how Jim Fay would have responded to the scenario you mentioned above: Next time give your son a choice "would you like to put your bike away now and play a little while longer in the yard or put it away and come inside?" By giving him these choices, he is given some control of his own, but still within boundaries that are ok with you (the bike gets put away either way.) Since your son decided to follow the advice of his younger sibling, you could say, "Gee, riding around the block again wasn't one of your choices, so now I am going to have to take the bike away for awhile. I am really sorry." Say it with empathy, not sarcasm. Very important! You always want to keep kids in the thinking state. When they get too mad because of revenge or feeling tricked then they get out of the thinking state of mind and we want to keep them there so they can learn from the mistake! If he continues to say it was his brother's fault, then you just say, "well, it really wasn't. He gave you a bad piece of advice and you took it. Now look at where it landed you? No bike. Who is really responsible here?"
It just totally works logically because you are working with natural consequences here. You asked for him to do something (put the bike away), he didn't do it so now he is paying the price of losing the bike. The whole bit about blaming his brother becomes a non-issue. Jim Fay has plenty of books to help you learn these techniques and even offers workshops that I highly recommend too. Good luck to you and I hope this helps!
A.