Getting Fixed?? Lack of a Better Word :(

Usually a married couple decides what's best for them personally.
Opinions are like a$$holes, everyone has O..
But really, the only opinions that matter in this case belong to you and your husband.
If you are considering "getting fixed" I think your OB is the best place to get information and ask questions. That way you can base YOUR decision on facts, not info from other family members, right?

Um... why isn't your husband's family bombarding *him* to get 'fixed'? My husband had a vasectomy and we've been fine. We've had NO problems or side effects for him.

I agree that this is a conversation between you, your husband, and your OB or a urologist, not the in-laws. That's just rude. It's also suggesting that A. they know more than you do about what your family needs and B. that a woman is solely responsible for contraception/reproduction in the family. Sorry, none of that flies with M.. Do the research as a couple and see which course of action (if any) is right for you. Don't be pressured into something you don't want to do.

I had my tubes tied before I had a hysterectomy and did not gain any weight. I had a hysterectomy - complete - EVERYTHING taken out - and didn't gain weight. So I don't know what they are talking about.

If you are done having kids, then do what you need to do. Whether it be birth control or "permanent" fixes. Your husband can have a vasectomy - it is advised NOT to have unprotected sex for the first year after the vasectomy.

You can have your tubes tied as well. It was a VERY simple process - and they went through my belly button, it was done in less than an hour and I was home that day and back to work the next.

Talk with your doctors - your OB/GYN and get the FACTS from them....

I don't know what your family is talking about when you mention pills and weight gain.

I had a complete hysterectomy 10 yrs ago and I am on a hormone patch but I never gained weight.

Hubby had the snip about 16 yrs ago and he never gained weight or had to take pills. He did have to submit a sample to the hospital for about 6 months to make sure he was "free and clear" of little swimmers.

Most importantly, don't let someone else pressure you into doing something permanent that you do not want to do.

If your hubby decides to have the prodecure, the Dr. will not do it if YOU are not 100% sure as well. Same goes for your procedure.

Talk to your Dr. about options but this is a decision for you and your hubby regarding your family and NONE OF HIS FAMILY's BUSINESS.

Good luck

Why doesn't your husband get fixed? It's a much simpler operation for a male.

No, that's not why they are obese. But regardless, have your husband get fixed. You've done your share, by having the kids.

I have to say, his family is pretty rude and intrusive. Tell them to butt out.

I think you should tell his family to mind their own business. This is a choice to be made by you and your husband.

That said, why doesn't your HUSBAND get fixed? YOU aren't obligated to do it, and it's a lot faster, less invasive, less painful, and less complicated for men to have a vasectomy than it is for a woman to have a tubal ligation.

And no, men won't gain weight because it changes nothing hormonally. To the best of my knowledge, tubal ligation changes nothing hormonally for a woman either...if they gained weight it wasn't related to sterilization.

Do you want to get your tubes tied? If the answer is NO, tell them to stop bugging you - it's your body and when you and your husband are ready, you will make the choice that works for you.

If YOU want to, then talk to your OB/Gyn and get facts. Now they can do this through a tiny incision in the belly button and just above the pubic bone - technology has changed a lot.

ADD: Seriously, your family bugs M.. If anyone in my family started telling M. what to do with my reproductive organs, first I'd look at them as if they were crazy and ignore the subject. If they didn't get off it, I'd thank them for their input and let them know that they need to keep their opinions on my fallopian tubes to themselves.

It sounds to M. like you do not want to do this. It is a surgery and anytime you have a surgery you have risks. Perhaps your husband would consider getting a vasectomy instead? I just think it is really rude that your husband's family is pressuring you to do this. That is so wrong. I had my tubes tied when I had my last c-section. I do not take any pills. I did not gain any weight and it has been 3 years. But every woman is different. Anyway - do not feel pressured to do this. It is not something you have to do.

Before you decide to get your tubes ties, please take time to research thoroughly the risks involved. While it may be a good solution for one woman, it could be devastating for another.
http://posttuballigationsyndrome.blogspot.com/

It's much easier and safer for your husband to get fixed. It also beats having to mess around with birth control or risk another pregnancy. You need to be sure it is what you both want. My husband did not gain any weight, or have to take pills.

If you're truly done having kids, I would ask your husband to get a vasectomy. It's out-patient surgery (getting your tubes tied is abdominal surgery) and it doesn't affect hormone levels. The procedure is considerably riskier for women than for men, so I'm always shocked at men who insist women do it. The only time I would ever consider getting my tubes tied (not that I'm ready for that) would be if I was already having major abdominal surgery for something - which I hope won't happen.

That said, don't let anyone bully or pressure you into anything. This is a serious decision, and one that should be made with your doctor and your husband - not your extended family.

this is a personal choice that YOU have to make, no one else. like someone said, due to your previous questions, it sounds like pregnancy is really hard on you, and you already have four children. do you plan on having more? we are done, and i am fine with taking the pill. is it really so inconvenient? i never thought about it, just part of my life.

you don't HAVE to have surgery, to avoid more children.

you don't HAVE to gain a lot of weight, if you do have the surgery. who is to say that the surgery even caused their weight gain??? many, many people are overweight. and all my inlaws are overweight - most of my family too. so that seems a silly argument to M.. people are fat all over, for all kinds of reasons. if you take care of yourself there's no reason for you to gain a lot of weight. it should not factor in your decision, imo.

weigh YOUR reasons. discuss it with hubby. then YOU make the decision. you are always allowed to change your mind later (assuming you don't do it right now, i mean). let it be YOUR choice and be comfortable with that. then just tell them, "well this is what's working for us, so we're good with that." don't take it as judgment that they feel this way - it was what worked for them. you have a right to decide whether it will, or won't, for you.

I read your previous post. Maybe they are talking about this to you at events because pregnancies have been so hard on you, and they are worried about your health if you were to become pregnant again.

If you think you are done having kids, but want the option to change your mind later, you have two options.
1) Mirena or
2) Paraguard. Mirena works for 5 years by changing hormones, Paraguard for 10 years and is not hormonal. Either of them can be removed at any time if you decide you want another child.

If you are sure you don't want any more children, the two options are:
1)Getting your tubes ties
2) Your husband gets a vasectomy. Both of these are permanent, so you want to be sure in your mind that you are done having kids before you do this.

You don't have to take pills for the rest of your life for any of these options. And none of them will make you gain weight (one exception - a small percentage of women gain weight from Mirena. Most don't though - I have Mirena and am actually considered slightly underweight, Mirena did not make M. gain a single pound). You should talk to your doctor, or someone at Planned Parenthood (if you don't see the doctor regularly) to get all the facts.

It's time to sit down and have a serious talk with hubby.

If you're considering anyone getting "fixed", the best option is for hubby to have a vasectomy. It's a simple process that is done right in the doctor's office with very little recovery time. Any type of side effects are extremely rare. Hubby did not gain an ounce of weight.

My friend had her tubes tied. Yes, she did gain weight. However, that may or may not have been the cause. If you're considering this you need to talk to your OB/GYN who is familiar with your personal health history.

There are ZERO hormonal implications of either vasectomy or tubal ligation. Both are simply 'plumbing' procedures. Medically it is way less invasive for your husband to have a vasectomy. Neither one of you would need hormone replacement, nor should it affect your weight.

However, it is really nobody's business buy your own. Of course if you are certain you are done having kids, permanent birth control is the simplest and most straight forward option. Plus the most reliable.

Your body. Your choice. Your decision.
Period. End of story.

Tell your SIL's to back off and stay out of your business.

~I have never heard of weight gain being a side effect of getting your tubes tied. If you were to get a tubal (getting fixed) you would NOT have to take pills the rest of your life, getting fixed takes the place of birth control pills. Sounds like you need to do your own research and talk to your doctor.

I had my tubes tied when I had my last c-section. If it had been a vaginal, my husband would have had a vas. I am pre-pregnancy weight and have not gained in the last almost 7 years. I don't believe their weight issues are a result of the tubal.
If you are absolutley sure you are done having children, have him do it. If you are not sure if you are done, tell his family to stay out of your business. This is between you and your hubby and no one else.

Instead of having a tubal I had the Essure procedure done. They go in vaginally and plug the holes of your fallopian tubes up so that no egg can be released. No surgery and you can drive yourself home afterwards. It's permanent like a tubal but no cutting or surgery.

I don't have to take any pills. Everything is the same with M.. No weight gain etc..

Read the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. You can only get pregnant about 5 days per cycle, and knowing when you're fertile can help you easily avoid getting pregnant. The book walks you through it. If you're willing to abstain or use condoms for about 5 days a month, check it out. It's a lot better than surgery.

You have 5 children and difficult pregnancies. I don't understand why you wouldn't want to have a tubal ligation.

I've had a hysterectomy and didn't gain any weight. In fact a couple of years after I lost a lot of weight which I didn't really need to lose. "They" say one gains weight after a hysterectomy. I suggest that "they" don't know.

Why would you have to take pills? I did have hormone replacement therapy after my hysterectomy but quit taking it when science discovered that taking estrogen and progesterone isn't always the best thing to do. I've never heard of anyone taking hormones after a tubal ligation. I know many women who've had one and suffered no side affects such as gaining weight.

I urge you to go to your OB/GYN and ask these questions. Get the medical opinion on your situation so that you can make an informed choice based on truth.

I would never make that choice based on pressure from extended family members. How incredibly rude.

I would keep researching the issue, even on some alternative sites.

I have personally not gone that route nor will I, ever, of my own volition.

I had my tubes tied along with my c section, that was almost 11 months ago and it's been easily to loose weight. I don't have any ill effects from having it done. With that said I agree tell them to stay out of your business!!

It is a much easier process for the guy to get fixed because he will be done is a few hours and then on top of it, he can be back to work in a few days. You do not gain weight from it unless I would assume you are just tired all the time. I know the women if you get fixed I think you may be put on something??? Not real sure. I know my input isn't much, but I have just always heard it is easier for the male to get fixed.

Please do listen to Tina's post. I know women who had some of the symptoms mentioned in the side effects of a tubal.

Here is the part of this I do not understand. Women fought for the right to do with her body as she chooses, abortion issue. But take that debate further; it's my body I get to do as I chose with my body. It is not up to anyone else, I do not need anyone's permission to color my hair, have another baby, or get 'fixed'. I also do not have to debate or listen to your opinion for hours on end. All I need to do is state my opinion and my choices and others need to accept my decision.

Just had my tubes done friday a week ago. It has always been on M. to do it. My husband just wont. It was about 3 days down. I hope to not gain weight, I have not heard of that. I do however am so relieved that the pill is not going to be my option anymore.... I am also relieved that it is done and we don't have to worry about it. I struggled for about 5 yrs to stay on the pill or get a procedure of some kind.... it has been back and forth and I am just so at peace for being final !

If you don't want to "get fixed", then don't. It is your choice, not theirs! I have six children and 19 grandchildren and I love it! I can't imagine not having one of them - they are so precious! When I was 38, I had to have a hysterectomy because of pre-cancer and growths. If you keep your ovaries, you do NOT have to take pills the rest of your life. They will still take care of you. When I had my hysterectomy, I lost 10 lbs and kept it off for many years. It doesn't have to make you fat. As you get older, most people put on weight, but that doesn't have anything to do with having a hysterectomy. I did, later, gain 50 lbs. when I was caretaking, but I lost it all and am in good shape now, at age 59 - size 2-4. And I love my large family. Don't let anyone make you do anything you are not ready for. :)

Have your husband get fixed...easier

I had Essure done back in March. One of the easier things I have done. It is permanent, cannot be reversed. It was a bout a 30 min procedure, done in the docs office. Next day I felt like I was having a slightly worse than normal (but still not bad) period and then back to normal! I did not gain any weight and I was on pills off on on for 10 or so years, expcept when pregnant of course. Look into it for real! I think it is even easier than a vasectomy.

First of all, tell family to stay out of your personal business.

Are you talking about a Tubal ligation? It does not alter anything besides the fact that your fallopian tubes will not long be attached to one another (meaning they remove a portion- yes I forgot to add that). Why would that make you gain weight? It sounds like they are all making excuses for their poor health.

Also, why do you ask if you'll have to take pills the rest of your life? For what?

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Tubal ligation is not nearly as invasive anymore as it used to be. I had mine done a year ago. No issues.
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I checked the link Tina provided. Please do not read that. If women do suffer from a Tubal then I'd say those few are the exception and not the rule. I've never heard of everything mentioned there.

First off, other people's decisions to go on birth control and/or their choice of birth control has no bearing on what or when you and your husband make your own choices. It's none of your family's business. It's between you and your husband, and no one else. If you or your husband have discussions with them or even allow them to carry on and continue to voice their opinions on how many children are enough for your family and when/whether or not you should use birth control and/or what type, then that's on you.

In other words, speak up and tell them that the discussion is over.

"MIL, thank you for your concern. We've already made our decision and have decided not to talk to anyone outside of our own bedroom about it."