I got an invitation in the mail yesterday for my friends daughters 2nd bday party... which is great but its on my sons birthday. My son and my daughter have bdays that are about a month apart and since my Daughter is going to turn one we decided to do both of there parties on her birthday in August. So my husband and I decided to send my sons bday taking him out and enjoying HIS birthday.
And now I am torn on what to do. We havent hung out with these friends in a couple months and haven't spoken to her really. I want to take him but our plans are a lot and the party is at 3pm. (who does a 2nd bday at 3pm?) I just don't know really how to address the situation. I can't tell her we will come later as it is at some place that is scheduled.
EDIT: Its not that big of a del and I understand that his birthday is more about me than him... but last year for his first Bday one of our other friends planned something on his bday to. I guess its more of an annoyance really. And I just wanted his bday to be spacial because last year I didn't get to enjoy his bday because I ended up spending of the day in the hospital on bed rest.... so to me it IS A BIG deal! (sorry)
I dont think its that big of a deal. He doesnt even know when his birthday is. Or you could do something before or after. Just a side note...I think 3 is a great time to start a party. Naps and lunch are over. You can serve apps and dinner!
Funny, we've started all our kid parties at 3pm. It's after nap and gives people an option to leave and have the evening free if they have other commitments.
Seriously, if you want to spend the day with your son then do it. Tell your friend it's his actual birthday and you already have plans. Every year, my husband and I give each son a "special" day on their birthday with just Mom and Dad.
Send your regrets, enjoy your son's brithday and be done with it.
Happy Birthday's to your kids!
T.
I would just politely say that you've made plans with your husband to do a family day with your son because it is his actual birthday. Nobody should fault you for that. Clearly this is not a best friend with a great relationship whose kids your son always plays with. She actually might heave a sigh of relief when its one less kid she has to pay for! :)
Your attitude about his day will totally rub off on him. If you sulk and pout about it then, in essence it is your behavior that ruins *his* day because *you* didn't get your way. On the other hand, if you just go with the flow and celebrate his birthday and put on your happy, positive face he won't even know the difference!
Now that you have kids you are welcomed to the world of activity conflicts. There will always be parties, events, activities that will overlap. People don't schedule these just to annoy or irritate you; things just happen.
I'm 100% certain your friend will understand if you just tell her "I'm sorry; that's the day we have scheduled for Joe and Susie's party so we will be unable to attend". No parent would expect another parent to skip a party that is scheduled on their own child's party date.
Sure it's normal to feel a little upset about this but really, what does getting pissed off about it do other than potentially put a damper on your son's day? Go on with your originally planned party, don't attend the other party (not because you don't want to but because you simply can't), and do whatever you can to make his day special! Don't rain on HIS parade just because YOU are annoyed. He doesn't deserve that.
Honestly I don't see what the big deal is. Your son is 2, how will he know which day you celebrate his birthday? If you want to go to the party, then go and celebrate your son's bday another day. If you don't really care if you go, then send a regret and keep you original plans.
I would definitely make his day special. Decorate the house after putting him to bed so when he wakes in the morning it is all streamered up. Have a special breakfast. I even let my kids have a birthday cupcake with candle in the morning. Give him his presents. Go on a special field trip that you have planned together. Since the party is at 3 I don't see why you couldn't go there as well. He is only 2 and if you do all the fun stuff and go to the party it's a win win situation. It will all work out. Don't fret about last year.
As others have said, your son won't really notice. My kids 2nd birthday was celebrated a full month and a half after their actual day. I make sure we do something small on my kids' actual birthdays even if a party is down the road. You don't say in your request but..if the day in question is a matter of "the only way we can work it in for our work/life/obligation schedules" issue then do what you are planning and drop by the next day or day before to wish your friends' daughter a happy birthday.
BTW, my trips first birthday was at 3:30 pm, their second at 4:00 I think. My other daughter's first birthday started at 5. If it is a scheduled time, you have to go with whatever works for you and the place it is held.
Anne is right. Your son wont have any idea if you celebrate his birthday on his birthday or not..but you will :)
i am all about making my kids birthdays their special day, and always have been. but its ME, not them, who gets worked up over this.
sounds to me like you are trying to talk yourself out of going to the friends party (ie:your whole last paragraph)
do you want to go to the other party? if the answer is no, dont go. its as simple as that. you have other plans for your sons b-day that same day, sorry, blah blah blah.
if you do want to go, GO. know that your son will most likely have a ball playing with the other children there...and never know he was suppose to be doing whatever you had planned for him.
this isnt one to stress over. :)
I would politely tell my friend that we have plans for my son's b-day and that I'm sorry we can't attend her party. I would also tell her we will get together and have a party of our own another day. If she's a friend, she'll understand that you want to spend that special day with the little one who made it special.
I haven't read the other posts yet, but if you aren't planning to have the same group of friends at your party then perhaps you could just tell her like it is and come up with a get together just yourselves a week or two later. I don't blame you about last year, ouch, not fun in a hospital. The birthday of a one year old is special to all of us, so I'd go ahead and have my party. In the summer there are so many activities sadly that it is hard to set up something special and see everyone, there are vacations and other family outings. Perhaps if this is very important you could do it at a half birthday. Although that would take it away from you feeling special. I don't think anyone does this on purpose (well, usually but sometimes there are snotty people I admit) but just last week my sister had a graduation party and one of my best friends. I went to both, and it really wasn't as fun to go to both. Goodluck!
