Fostering to Adopt

Go for it. My husband and I have adopted six children from the system, and they are all great kids. After adopting do join an adoption support group as little things will crop up that non-adoptive families don't go thru and it will help tremendously.
Blessings,
D.

Camile

I know that you probably got all of the responses that you need, but I still felt compelled to respond to you. I am sitting here cuddling my adopted daughter. I completed an international adoption 3 years ago. International adoptions require double the paperwork and run around. Having said that, this was the most rewarding run around I have experienced or could imagine. Also, I cannot imagine loving a person more than I love my daughter. Hang in there with the paperwork. The reward is unmatched!

We have adopted all four of our children: private, international and 2 from foster care. I will say that, out of international and foster, foster is faster and less expensive (free, in fact!)

Here's the process of foster to adopt from the States side:
Removal of child (child is placed in an emergency shelter or home.)

Child is then placed in the first (of usually several) foster homes

While the child is waiting, the State is working with the parents (training classes, drug rehab, etc.) in order to try to achieve "reunification" (placing child back with parents)

This process can take up to 2 years before the parental rights are legally terminated by the State.

If they see that reunification with the parents will not work, they are seeking BIOLOGICAL FAMILY members who would be willing to take custody of the child/children. They do home studies/interviews to make sure they are qualified.
In many cases, the family members have issues that do not make it a safe place to put the children. (Same issues as parents or possibly others ones that are just as bad.)

If no biological family member is suitable, and parental rights have been terminated, then the child is available for adoption.

Once available for adoption, the foster family they are living with (IF THEY ARE FOSTER TO ADOPT CERTIFIED) then have the first choice of adoption.

If they chose NOT to adopt, then the child/children wait while a selection process is determined from the families who have applied and gone through the training classes. Potential parents are contacted when they feel a match has been made. You will then be able to read the child's case history and determine if you want to have this child placed with you or not.

In the state of Texas, the child has to live with you for 6 months before the adoption can be consumated in front of a judge. If the child is older, he/she has the right to say "yes" or "no" to being adopted... although it rarely happens for an older child to say "no."

Adoption fees are paid by the State if you use the lawyers that they have retained, or you can be reimbursed up to $1,500 (I believe it is) if you choose to use your own lawyer. (We used two they had retained and they were WONDERFUL!) Also, if your child meets 3 of the certain criteria: sibling group, minority status, over the age of 3, (there's more...)parents receive monthly child support until they turn 18 years old, their college is paid for and they have Medicaid until their 18. (We were shocked to discover this, but it truly was a blessing to us.)

When you do this, be certain that you are certified FOSTER TO ADOPT. You will recieve child support payments for the entire 6 months that the child is living with you prior to the adoption. Other wise, your on your own. They usually come to you with NOTHING! I literally mean NOTHING. Ratty shoes, clothes that are too small/too big, etc. What they do have will probably be brought to you in a trash bag. If their lucky, they have a suit case or duffle bag.

If a child is not adopted by the age of 18, or by the time they graduate high school, they are released from the care of the State and are on their own.

Currently, there are 140,000 children in the foster care system (entire USA) who are eligible and waiting to be adopted. In our region, there are literally HUNDREDS of children who are waiting.

Our sons that we adopted from foster care are biological 1/2 brothers and came home to us at ages 3 and 11 years old. Our situation was unique! God told us to adopt these two boys and we went in "child specific." This means they were already available for adoption and waiting. We did not foster any other children.

It has been a difficult path, but one I would gladly do over again. These children come to you hurt and scared and, not matter how young they are, they will still have some trauma that they may not even be able to identify as to WHY they have it. Our oldest son has gone from D's and F's in school to A/B honor roll! He will be the starting quarter back for our football team this coming year and has made HUGE strides.

I cannot recommend this ENOUGH. These babies (of all ages) deserve to be loved and taken care of. If we don't intervene now to help and love them, their fates usually aren't good and society often pays for not getting involved and making a difference.

A great book to read is Adopting the Hurt Child. It will really give you insight into the lives of these children and the common behaviors that you might encounter depending on what the child has experienced.

Here is the website that will give you more information and will allow you to see just a FEW of the children available for adoption.

http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/adoption_and_foster_care/

Please give me a call if you have any questions or concerns! I hope this was helpful and not too overwhelming...

Blessings in Christ,
M.
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I didn/t see this when it originally came out, but I wanted to respond, since I too am a adoptive/bio mom.
Following the premature birth and passing of our first child we did not get pregnant again like we had planned. We had always thought we would adopt and jumped into the process. Colorado is different, but I believe the foster to adopt system is different from the foster care system. One is kids that are pulled from their homes and in our case we became foster parents, in order to bring a baby home from the hospital whose birth parents still had to terminate their parental rights.
Our only request was that we didn't want to start out with any known problems and we also wanted a newborn. Our case worker prepared us that when you state that you will take the first available, that includes all races. We were very motivated and completed everthing they gave us in record time and were soon bringing home our son. Fourteen months later I gave birth to our daughter. Incidentally, I fretted during my pregnancy that I would not feel as connected or love her like I did our son..as all a parents know, so not a problem.
When our daughter was a year old we went to adopt again and soon were introducing our entire family to our new son. We knew the risks in taking children that whose parents rights had yet to be terminated, but for us, we watned them in our home as early as possible. Unfortunately, when our so was four and a half months old, we got a call on vacation that his birthmother was reclaiming him. Devastation does not even begin to cover how we felt. Not only did we have our personal heartache, it was going to impact our other two children who were old enough to attach, but not seemingly too young to understand that their baby brother would be leaving our family. We knew that we could fight the process and possibly prolong his return but felt like at four and a half months that the impact on him would be minimal but if we drug it out in hopes of changing their minds, or causing a battle that he could be two and well aware of leaving us. God is big and we got through the most difficult times of my life so far.
Heartbroken we decided to try to get pregnant again. Three weeks after the loss of our son, our agency called us to tell us that a baby had been born and left at the hospital, but the birth parents had signed all the paperwork on the way out. We took her home and she has been this incredible blessing who is a gift to everyone she meets. When our daughter was two weeks old I found out that I was pregnant with our fourth and our joy was complete.
Jump forward..my kids are now 13, 12, 10 and soon to be 10. They know our family story. They know that they are all loved and that their lives have been a huge gift to their parents and one another. We have worked through times of being sad over the loss of birth parents and the joy of seeing family and friends add to their lives through adoption as well. The racial issuse have always been talked about openly and bluntly.
Sorry so long, but I have to end with is that one of my greatest sense of peace comes from hearing them speak of having their own families someday and discussing how many children they would like to have and how many they would like to adopt and what cultures those babies may come from.
Blessings to you and your family!

I wanted to interject a bit into this thread. My husband is a juvenile dependency attorney who works exclusively with kids and families in the foster care system.
Entering the foster care system with the intention of adopting is somewhat misleading. When children are initially taken from their parents, they are not up for adoption and the goal of the state is to reunify them with their biological parents. By law, the biological parents must be given many chances to attend parenting classes and get other help so their kids can be returned to them and released from the foster care system. In most circumstances, any child you foster will be in the middle of a case plan designed to reunify them with their parents and even if you, as a foster parent, think you can provide a better home, it doesn't matter. It's not about a judge giving the child to the best home, if the bio parents can create an appropriate home they always come first.
There are children in the foster system who's parents have had their rights terminated, but they are few and far between and often older.
You can adopt children through the state that desperately need homes and I encourage you to do so. But if you are entering into foster care with the goal of adoption, you are doing the entire system a disservice. Foster parents are supposed to be people who can care for a child temporarily, and they should work with the system to help get the child back to their bio parents...not try to hang onto the child so they can be adopted.
You can search for children in the Florida system that are ready to be adopted here:
http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/adoption/search/indexnew.asp
Please reconsider fostering if your sole goal is adoption...it's not fair to the families that are trying to put their lives back together. You would just become one more obstacle in an already difficult situation.

Hi C., This is how I got my son & it was the best thing I ever did. I would advise you to talk to several agency's. Also go to an adoption fair in your area. There is alot of red tape to go thru but you can do it.

When you find an agency you like make sure you are honest with them with what you are wanting. In my situation, I had no children and wanted to adopt. I didn't feel like I could handle taking a child and having that child taken away. It's always a risk, which I knew but my case worker did fantastic at screening the cases before approaching us.

We used Homes of St. Marks & they did ok until my case worker left to go to another agency, but the agency that appeared to have such a great success rate was Depelchin. You can also go on line and look at some of the children & read up on what is expected of you.

If I can help any further, please let me know.

Hi C., My name is S. B. My husband and I were foster parents and we adopted a little girl. I highly suggest becoming an foster parent first and even adopting thru your state system vs. going thru an agency. I have friends who have went thru private agencies and ended up paying a lot of money. Whereas we didn't pay anything. In fact, our daughter got benefits from child support, medical insurance, child care and her college will be paid for! Either way, make sure you get as much info as possible on the biological mom (family history) One of my friends is really dealing with some issues that she was unaware of in the beginning. Best Wishes!

We also had one bio child, and couldn't have anymore, so we choose to adopted. We adopted the most beautiful little girl almost two years ago and had a great experience.

We did straight adoption, not foster to adopt, so my experience will be a little different, but our agency does both and was great to work with. We chose to go with Marywood Children and Family Services. They are small, but you get lots of personal attention, and they have been doing this for over 80 years, so they know what they are doing.

We started off by attending an informaitonal meeting at the agency, then got started. We had to make a photo album about us, our family, and our home. You have to write an autobiography, and answer certain questions about your life as well as have home visits and get your house inspected by fire and health dept. The process isn't hard, but is time consuming.

Our daughther was born before we got picked to be her parents, and was 4 days old when we met her! Her bio-parents were young, scared, and had no money to speak of. We choose to have a semi-open adoption with no actual contact with the bio-parents. We know who they are, met them, and send them letters and pictures twice a year.

Hope this helps!

I'm sooooooooooooooooooo excited to be reading all of this. We are incredibly interested in fostering to adopt. I'm crying just reading all of these responses. You women are SO good. I love each of you for having such open and loving hearts. Your children are blessed to have you!

I am the mother of 5! The last 3 we are adopting! I love it. But you have to go in to fostering knowing that they might go home. I adopted my youngest son 4 years ago, and have loved every minute of him! And now, we have been blessed with his 2 sisters! I say go for it, just remember that you can not keep them all! And know your limits! And what ages you can handle! Need any advice email me anytime!

Loving being Mommy!

You have to discuss with the agency about fostering to adopt. I know in NY they try to place children that in all likelihood will be freed for adoption, but that doesnt always happen. Sometimes judges (for unknown reasons) keep returning the children home or keep giving the parents chances to get their acts together. You should go into this process knowing that it might not work out. But there are a LOT of children needing permanent homes and I applaud you for wanting to do this.
I was an emergency foster parent for 13 years and never intended to adopt, one little boy never went home and 7 years later I ended up adopting him AND his 3 brothers. That was 15 years ago and right now I am holding his 3 y/o daughter on my lap as I am typing to you. His 4 1/2 y/o son is playing at my feet. I have 2 biological adult children, so that makes 6 and now I have 8 grandchildren. Life IS good. Sure there were bumps along the way, but I dont regret any of it.
The one thing I would recommend is that you make sure your son is the oldest child. He will be jealous and needs to feel that he is in charge so to speak. The role model for his younger siblings.
There are a lot of web sites with children already freed, especially sibling groups. Dave Thomas of Wendy's has a web site. And your state probably has a Blue Book of available children. This might be a better option since the children will already be freed and there wouldnt be a possibility of reunion.
If you are interested I wrote a book about my experiences that you might enjoy. The title tells how many babies I had. :)
http://www.amazon.com/97-Pictures-Kids-My-Wall/dp/1432732...

C.,

I wish you good luck in your endeavors. I am the oldest of four children, two of which are adopted. My father was adopted as an infant and when my parents wanted more children they decided to adopt. I was 11 when my youngest brother arrived. To this day, I remember my mom and dad picking me up from church camp with my new borther. They received the call on Monday and picked him up on Friday. Less than two years later, my younger sister arrived. Watching my parents go through the adoption process, I learned somethings. One, be very patient - it can be a long process. Two, have lots of conversations with your bio child. And lastly, be open and honest with your adopted child about how they came into your family. I use the terms bio and adopted, but have found that I really don't think of us that way. We are truly siblings and fight and love each like all other families. The favorite saying the my younger siblings have is, "Mom and Dad chose us, but they got stuck with you!" My younger siblings are secure in their role in our family. I can't imagine our family any other way. It was a great experience for our family and my husband and I have talked about adoption ourselves because of the wonderful impact it has made on our families.

I wish you all the luck!

A.

Hi C.,

I am a former foster care social worker. I think Michelle S offered a really clear outline of the steps.

I just wanted to throw in some advice for dealing with the social workers... having been one myself. While most are hard working and dedicated, there are some really shady social workers out there. Unfortunately, I saw this first hand. You have the right -- and I think duty -- to call the supervisor of any worker you think is being disrespectful, lazy, or delinquent. They should be clear in what the guidlines for home inspections and visits are. Yes, they can, and are usually required, to make some surprise visits. But normally, they should call ahead, show up on time and inquire about the child's welfare. If you don't get proper resolution from their supervisor, call the head of the agency. Do not be afraid to do this!

Also, try not to be insulted by the fact that the SW may need to inventory the child's clothes, get documentation from you regarding medical/dental visits and even sign a paper that they visited you. Social Work is ALL ABOUT documentation.

I monitored children in family placements, often with their grandparents. A lot of those people would be very insulted when I had to perform clothing inventories, school visits, etc. I understand where they're coming from, but it is usually state/city required. Its a "trust but verify" mentality.

Finally, if you are nice to the SW, they will usually be nice to you and want to help you. Some foster parents are also "shady"... so if you get a good SW they will be greatful to have you on their case load. Trust me... some foster parents are verrrrrrry shady and difficult.

Just don't hesitate to report the bad SWs... they make all SWs look bad and without complaints from clients, it is very difficult to get rid of them.

I wish you lots of luck.

God Bless you for considering opening your heart and home to a child in need. It is true there will certainly be challenges w/ any child in the system just as there will be and have been challenges w/ your natural born child.
It doesn't sound like you are considering having a lot of foster children come in and out of your home and I would like to add my experience.
I was a the natural child of parents who had many foster children. These temporary brothers and sisters quickly become part of a family, than they disappear. This can distort your natural childs sense of trust and safety. Please don't get me wrong, I still think loving and capable families should provide this care and devotion to children in need, but if a foster child leaves permanently, than it is just something you need to be prepared to discuss w/ your child over and over again.
When they get old enough to understand, it will be equally important for them and any adopted child to always know; if you couldn't be there for them, where they would go and who has agreed to love & take care of them. Perhaps the agency can even suggest some good books or age appropriate discussions.
All the best.

We have adopted two children by fostering to adopt. We are in the process of adopting our third. If you have any questions feel free to message me. We have been involved with CPS Foster to Adopt for 5 years now and I can answer most questions you might have.

D.

C.,

I know I am also late to this post, but I had to tell you that it does work out. My parents did this some 35 years ago and we fosted about 8 different childern 3 of which never left and they adopted and we (my sisters and I) don't think of them any different then each other. So my parent have 3 bio daughters ages 51 to 45 and 1 daughter and 2 sons that they adopted that are 38,37, & 36. They also not have 20 grandchildren rounding our their very full family!

J.

I have no advise for you though I did have friends who did this and it was a hard start but turned out to be a blessing. I just wanted to say thank you for having such a kind and generous heart. There are so many children out there that need to be adopted and not enough people who want them which is sad. Most everyone wants a baby and forget about the other children. God Bless you and your family for being who you are and may he also give many blessings to you and your family. Good Luck on your journey.

We foster and adopted 2 brothers 14 years ago. The process can seem daunting and time consuming but worth it. Case workers - ours did not come monthly, only when announced and never left the livingroom. Most times she came while the kids were in school so she didn't see them for months at a time. Your home should be clean and tidy but not too organized, some toys and books at kid levels.

The boys we adopted: one was a baby, he is now a typical teenager, loves me one minute and well is difficult the next. One was 6 when we got him and he had been through 8 families in 5 years before coming to us. He has attachment disorder that we were unable to break through. He never attached to anyone and is in and out of trouble with the law. It has been very difficult but one day he will come to the understanding that I did all I did out of love.

You will need a good support system, friends, church, family.

Feel free to contact me.

Thanks for your post. I am starting the same process. I wanted to read you responses. I attend a class in August to find out more.

Hi C.,

I just read your post today...I was out of town when it was posted or I would have responded then. Anyway, I wanted to comment. I am in Baltimore, and am the Mommy of 2 beautiful bio-sisters that we adopted through the Balto Co Dept of Social Svs (Foster to adopt). They were placed with us at 5mos and 15mos. Emma and Anna were formally adopted by us almost exactly 1 yr from the day we brought them home from their emergency placement (I believe another person already explained the ins-and-outs of the system from the States point of view and it rings true here, too) August 10 will be our 2nd Anniversary of the Adoption! Anyway, the 2 BIGGEST stressors of this type of adoption are the inordinate number of people who have access to pretty much every aspect of your home and life until the adoption is finalized, and the CERTAIN belief that the bio mom will show up for a visitation (yeah, right) and fall in love with YOUR babies, and push to get them back. If you can set your mind to the idea that your role in some children's lives is to care for them and soothe their hurts while their birthparents get themselves together, then Foster to Adopt is amazing. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't have gone home and thrown a tizzy if I had had to give up my girls, but I would have had to do it.

My daughters know that they are adopted the same way that they know they are girls. It doesn't mean a whole lot yet, but we don't want there to be any surprises later. We tell them their adoption story as a bedtime story every couple of months and point out adoption stories we see in popular media (like Tarzan, etc.) I asked my just turned 4 y/o what adopted means a few months ago. Her response was, "happy."

Best Wishes on your future family additions.

S.

Dear C.,

You have gotten lots of great advice and sounds like you will have lots of support just here on mamasource. But I just couldn't help posting my story to add to your responses.

I think (in hindsight) going into this you have to research research research. Research the system, the specific kids, and especially your heart.

I really felt like I was ready and willing to give love to one of these many older children in the foster system that needed it. I still think everyone should just adopt one (and then we wouldn't have such an overloaded system) or at least go to the classes to become aware of what is going on around all of us. I think, however, I was living in an unrealistic thought world of what it was going to be like. I don't want to be negative but I do want to offer you another view of a possible senario, because it is very real. I think it is important to realize that any situation could be your situation because these children are hurting so much and really, it's so very unpredictable.

We were contiplating adoption of one older boy (leaving my bio son the oldest) and also continplating having one more of our own. We had three at the time. We went through all the visits, interviews, paperwork (which is NOTHING compared to what comes next) and spent the summer thinking and praying over it and we got a call for a sibling group (not planned) and one was a girl (not planned) and so we took them on respite care over a long weekend to get to know them. I liked the boy and really felt bad for the girl (compassion I guess) and so all of the sudden the agency is really pushing us because school is starting, and the foster family is ready to be done! I felt pressured and in hindsight would have said "wait, I need time". The same week they wanted an answer I found out I was pregnant. We thought we could do it anyway and told them yes. The first few months all I did was cry (when no one was looking) and I wanted out! I was afraid to say so but even when I finally did the social worker was telling me it was going to be okay and I could do it. I was always talked back into it. I won't go into all the details but it was a long bumpy road....the kids came with many issues. Physical and emotional, and social even. I have seen much improvement in both of them but for me personally I hold alot of bitterness towards the girl and the agency and even myself. I don't like the person I have become through all of this and I don't like what it has done to my marriage and my family. I keep telling myself that they are so much better off with us but that is not enough for me. I want the attachment, the bond, I want to feel like this is my family instead of two kids I take care of.

I highly recommend reading lots of books (recommended from others who have responded) and one especially on attachment disorder (that's a tough one, even infants can go through this) and really stating what you want. Don't get pressured, pushed around or talked into anything. This is your life, your family's life and this/these foster kids life. If you aren't able to give them your heart, know that someone else can. You can't feel personally responsible to "save" them if you know you can't. See, I don't think I knew that I couldn't. The want was there.....it just wasn't enough.

I hope one day I can say I wouldn't do anything different or that I wouldn't change a thing, but I can't just yet and I just think you should think about ALL the possible effects that this will have on you and your family.

On a lighter note, it was a fairly fast process, didn't cost us a thing and we do recieve a subsidy each month to help out. I think if people really do have a heart for this they should go for it because it is so needed everywhere.

I think maybe also looking back I might foster to adopt, I think there are benefits either way. Actually, looking back I may not have done either, but it's funny how we think one is the best way when really they all are good!

I wish you much success in this endeavor!
Oh, one last piece of advice..listen to your husband!

I didn't see your original request. But when my daughter was in the second grade I asked my husband if we could have foster children. For me it was a way to help children and to thank my mom for being such a wonderful mom. So many children don't have that. We did have Denise and Dwayne as natural children. When I went for the parent teacher conference the teacher asked me, "Exactly how many children do you have?" (Unfortunately, I had ended up divorced and unable to keep being a foster parent due to needing to go to work and support my two.)When the teacher asked that I just said two. The teacher then asked "Why did Denise put down she was one of 12 brothers and sisters when she did a family tree? I had to laugh, she still claimed them as family.

First of all - congrats on your decision to adopt here in the United States. I'm weighing in a little bit late here but have gone through the fost-adopt program in Denver, Colorado with my twin boys who are now 6 years old. I have heard TONS of horror stories about fost-adopt with bio-parents coming back to take the children before parental rights have been terminated; however, in our case this never happened and the whole process from placement to finalized adoption took about 1.5 years. The boys were placed with me at four months and at about 20 months I went in and signed legal documents. I would say that the last two or three months were the most difficult as it felt as though the bureaucratic wheels were moving at a snail's pace! (= I have since had two girlfriends and their husband go through the same process in Denver and the adoptions were successful with them as well.
Good luck on your endeavors! If you want any other advice - private adoption agencies vs. state, etc. please feel free to write.
Take care!
A.

PLEASE read "The Primal Wound" before your new family member arrives. As an adoptee, I wish my family and I would have had the knowledge presented in this book to help us understand one another. I never understood why I was the way I was until I read this book. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read it. It can help you and your child avoid alot of misunderstood feelings.

You can read the first few pages here at amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Primal-Wound-Understanding-Adopted-...

Hi C.,

Check out www.adoptuskids.org/, www.dfps.state.tx.us/Adoption_and_Foster_Care/, adoption.com and search "forums" and "Texas". Also, austin-tx.adoption.com, adoption.org, and the Yahoo and Google groups about adoption. Good luck!

I just saw your response as I was out of town and missed the original request. I went through the foster adopt program in Colorado. We did not request only an infant but a child under 6 as you did. Our son came to live with us in Dec. 2007. Yes, his bio mom had a plan and didn't complete it. The judge terminated the rights in March of 08. When we first began it was called a legal risk because of the parent's unification plan. However we immediately fell in love with K and decided, we would make a difference in his life whether it be short term but seriously praying for long term. His adoption was finalized in July 08. This was the not the exact plan that we had mapped out for our life and it is even better. Being a child adopted later, he has has grief issues but I am still MOMMY. He says he worries about his other mommy. I would take advantage of a great therapist. I would be thrilled to answer any others questions. Best of luck. You will be rewarded.

My husband and I have been foster parents for about 15 years off and on. We have one daughter of our own and while being a vacation home for 3 sisters (they were available for adoption) we decided to check about adopting them. We were told that another family was interested in them but that there were 2 other children needing a family, a 4 yr old girl and 7 yr old boy and since I had my husband in an adoption mood we decided to take them. We tried so hard to make things work, but really never had a chance because they felt that we had taken them from their previous foster home (they had to leave because the father had lost his job) and as things got worse and worse my family started to fall apart. My husband started working later and later to avoid the stress at home, our daughter started doing poorly at school and getting into trouble. I finally told their worker that it was not working, I felt horrible but felt I had to do what was right for my family. It took a while for DYFS to find another home for them but they got them back in the same neighborhood they and been in prior to living with us.

Jump to present day our daughter is now 28 and married and we took in a 5 month baby girl - strictly fostering. The day she was supposed to go back to her mother the mother backed out. The courts tried to get them together but the mother wasn't interested. Our caseworker asked us if we wanted to adopt her and since we had now had her for close to a year we said yes. Her mother signed away her rights directly to us and her father signed a general release of his rights. The adoption isn't complete yet but should be within the next month. Sometimes I worry that I am too old for such a young child but my husband and I are enjoying her so much, when our older daughter was young we were so busy working that we missed a lot.

Good luck to you!

I think I read this kind of late but my husband and I are in the same process right now. We have been doing for almost a year. Very time consuming but we know it will be worth it in the end. We have a 4 year old biological child and we can have more children and still may but it has always been in my heart to adopt and luckily my husband is on board. We just had the health inspection on our home and we are still waiting for the fire inspection and to be assigned a case worker. So hopefully we are almost done. I have been through everything pretty recently and I can answer any questions you might have up to this point if you need me too. I am in SC though not TX and there are probably a lot of differences. Good luick to you.

Hi C., My husband and I have one biological child age 32 with kids of his own and lives about 6-7 hours away, so we don't get to see them often. Since we have an extra bedroom, "empty nest," we decided to help a child with the possibility of adoption. Of course the main idea of being a foster parent is to accomplish a positive end result - when the child reunites with his/her biological family and, as we know, that is not always the case. We have only had 3 children stay with us and the last one is going up for adoption soon. He has been with us for 7 weeks now and fits right in and we have already let the case worker, guardian and the child's therapist know of our intensions. If you don't let these people know your intensions of adopting that particular child, you might lose the chance which is what happened to a couple we know who are foster parents too; they had no idea that their foster child was placed in the adoption system, they just got a call one day letting them know the child has been adopted and they were heartbrokened. My husband and I were told that the process of adopting takes about one year which allows more time for all of us to get better adjusted and if it doesn't work out for legit reasons, we don't have to continue the process. Another friend of mines adopted a child (not through fostering) and two years later, she regretted it because the child had mental medical problems that was making my friends life difficult and she told me that she should have waited longer before deciding whether or not to adopt that child. I felt sorry for both her and the child. Adopting is very serious because it's permanent and we need to make sure that we are able to handle obstacles that will come our way eventually. My foster child keeps asking about his mom and next week the case worker, guardian, and therapist will tell him that mom is gone (which she really is, she moved out of the state). This wonderful child was with another foster parent for about 7 months, then sent to a family member who wanted to adopt him, but then change his mind a month later and sent the child back, which is when the child came to us and we are crazy about him and will follow every procedure to keep this him. This child is like any other child, we can't find anything out of the norm. He's polite, talks alot about God, has a great laughter where everyone looks, lol, listens most of the time- what a wonderful child he is and it's hard to believe that his parents "voluntarily" signed away their parental rights and the rest of the family doesn't want him. I'm not kidding you when I say this child is just perfect for us. Anyway, if the adoption goes well, we are thinking of fostering another child around the same age so they can have someone to play with. As soon as the adoption becomes final with us, I'll post it here with details of the steps taken to accomplish this. See you soon.