"Flirty" 5 Year Old?

Hi T.,
I am sure I would be a little concerned also if I were you. You are a good mom, wanting to do what is best and healthiest for your daughter. If it were me I would be catious of what she is watching, TV or movies and I would be protective of who she spends time with (make sure she is safe from any possible predators) and seeking help medical or phsycological is also important if you feel that in your heart. There is nothing wrong with that. Trust your instincts. Another idea I admired from a friend of mine. She has been strong in encouraging her daughters in their education and extra curricular interest. This way they become focused on things that they can do well and that with practice they can do even better and achieve great things. This way relationships with boys become more the "icing on the cake" and not the "cake" do you know what I am saying? Her girls are now in their teens but her concept in general is a healthy one in my opinion. She has really encouraged them to pursue their talents and therefore build their self esteem which will make them, I believe, a healthier and happier woman, wife and mother someday. Hope this helps :)

maybe she needs some girls to hang out with

I don't want to dissapoint you, but this can be "normal" for a girl her age. For the last 7 years, I've been a teacher with children up through 5th grade, and it seems like this starts a lot earlier for our children than it did us. I don't know what she watches on TV or what her friends are doing, but a lot of this can come from what she's seeing outside of the home as well. Good luck!

I'm a little concerned that you're reading too much into your daughter's behavior. None of the things she's done with this boy sounds strange or inappropriate for a five year old child. If it was another girl she was doing this to, I doubt you would be concerned about lesbian tendencies. So why on earth would you consider what she's doing "flirty"? Why would you sexualize normal childhood interactions?

And I don't know many five year old girls that don't like getting dressed up and doing their hair. Even if she's not imitating you, she could be getting influenced by her friends or their moms or even Disney cartoon princesses. Maybe the fact that your appearance isn't a great concern for you makes your daughter's actions seem odd, but I can assure you it's perfectly normal.

As far as "humping" her stuffed animals, I wouldn't be too worried about that, either. Many young girls self-stimulate, but that doesn't make it strange or sexual at all. My daughter has stretched and gyrated in her high chair (using the crotch strap to "rub" herself) since before she was even two years old. It's simply a feel-good button they have on their bodies, no different than rubbing their nose or elbow if they got the same results.

If you really have concerns, I would speak to your child's pediatrician. At the very least, they can calm your fears or refer you to a specialist that can calm your fears. Because, truly, that's all it is. Irrational, baseless fear.

So go have a nice drink by your neighbors pool and wait another decade or so to start worrying about your daughter's virtue.

Some quotes from a fantastic article that I encourage you to read.

Regarding the 'flirting': "Sometimes we bring our sexual hang-ups to the table as parents, and let them influence our children's innocent interactions."

Regarding the 'humping': "In a 15-year-old or a 35-year-old, self-stimulation takes on a whole new meaning, as opposed to the simple self-exploration that we see in toddlers," he says. "The self-stimulation you see in a young child is really just a behavior that feels good, so it is self-reinforcing. It is not sexual like true masturbation."

Here's the web-site, please check it out: http://www.upmc.com/healthatoz/pages/HealthLibrary.aspx?c...

Hello,

I read some of the responses below and all I can say is wow.

If you have concerns then maybe you should talk to her doctor about them. I would look at the TV Shows and movies she is watching. Kids get all sorts of ideas from them. Also, you may check the video games she is playing too or friends she is hanging out with.

Other kids say stuff that they may not what it means either because they have heard it from somewhere.

I don't think it's anything to extreme but maybe keep you eye on.

My daughter starting liking boys when she went into to Kindergarten but didn't we all? So monitor her and just to make sure nothing gets out of hand.

Maybe ask her why she did some of things she is doing. The answer may surprise you or it could be something innocent.

Good Luck.