ok I know I am not mother of the year but I do try to do what is right for my son and teach him the right things. That being said I am kind of a foul mouth. I need to know how to stop swearing around my kid, or anytime really. Reason being a note was sent home today from daycare stating that my son called another little girl a d***head. I know he heard it from me. My boyfriend (his dad) swears too, but doesn't say that word. In my defense my boyfriend knows how to push my buttons and this is usually said toward him out of anger, still unacceptable. I talked to my son about saying bad words and that he, and mommy, and daddy shouldn't talk like that. I also told him if he catches me or daddy saying bad words to tell us and make us eat soap. Other than that I don't know what to do. What makes it worse is my in-laws (boyfriends parents) picked him up from daycare today because I work late on Tuesdays and they saw the note. Now they are embarrassed and upset with me, of course. Any suggestions about how to control my foul mouth. BTW my dad was a yeller/swearer too so I grew up hearing those words too, but I knew to NEVER say them around adults. If you are just going to lecture me please don't bother responding I feel bad enough. Looking for suggestions. Thnanks.
How about a "swear jar"? Anyone that swear has to put a nickel (quarter, dollar) in the jar. It can go to charity every so often.
Um, Jackie, I am confused. Your profile and all posts up to this claim you are not married and don't have kids.
Did you accidentally forget which username you were logged in under? I would think it would be less confusing since they closed your Momonamission name. How many do you have anyway?
L., sorry I hijacked your question it is just I find PMs to be a bit passive aggressive. I have sworn around my kids yet until they were late teens they never use them. Kids can hear things and still know it is wrong for them to use the words, ya know?
Well, I'm not gonna lecture since based on your previous posts your bf IS a dickhead, so no one here blames you. Try to be good to yourself L..
I did not use strong language around the kids when they were little. However now they're older, I've developed terrible trash mouth. But it's generally with humor not anger.
And yeah, I too finding it interesting how Jackie suddenly came up with kids! Huh!
:)
It is hard because they hear and repeat everything. I am guilty when I am driving and someone cuts me off. My husband has a horrible mouth. I have told him that he is saying bad words and now my 5 year will tell him when he hears it that he is saying a bad word. He (my hubby) is supposed to put a quarter into the piggy bank when he says one. I think the situation the other day put it in perspective for him, in front of my 8 yo daughter he made a comment, "he really is a d***head!" My daughter looked at him and asked, "daddy, what the hell is a d*** anyway?" I looked at him and said, "you want to answer that question?" He turned bright red and agreed that he had to watch what he says a lot better than he does.
So, don't feel bad, it happens to all of us at some point. But maybe if you catch yourself, put that quarter in the jar, and use it to do something nice as a family.
ok...so i know how you feel. my son is 15 mos and recently repeated the f-word because of me. so yeah. here's what i have been doing. i curse a lot, but not around my grandparents or my dad's side of the family. so basically i try to pretend like i am around that side of the family when i am around my son. if i hang out with friends i don't really watch it too much, but if i am with my son i try to substitute my bad words with not so bad words. like "flip" or "shoot" or "dern". its been hard but i am already getting better at it. hope that helps, (and for the record, i don't think this makes you a bad mama. we just like to express ourselves in a colorful way).
hey girl, IT IS OKAY! lol
i have a potty mouth too, i'm soo glad to see i'm not the only mommy in the world that's imperfect - sheesh!! :)
anyway, i've heard my son saying some of my words (mostly damn & hell i think) but i just give him other words to use & say we can't say those words. my vocab's pretty much dwindled down to "silly", "uh-oh spaghettios", "rainwater", and "horsefeathers". just stupid stuff my grandmother used to say. i still cuss some when i'm not around him but have mostly cut it off w/him...but it is HARD! you're just gonna have to call your dickhead boyfriend (lol - not calling him that!) a silly goose or something like that if the kiddo's around! not quite the same effect as dickhead, i know!
these kids pick up quick though! :)
good luck & again...IT'S OKAY. you're a good mom b/c you care & this bothers you! :)
Hey - water under the bridge. In the bigger scheme of things it could be much worse.
I'm trying not swear so I say variations (jackass turns into jack, dickhead would be dillhead, etc) and that kinda helps. If it makes you feel any better my son - when he was just about 6 - was walking around the house and stepped in a wet spot. He turned around, looked at me and muttered under his breath "well this is just f*cking great" and walked away.
I know it wasn't appropriate and I shouldn't have laughed but I man I couldn't help it - he sounded like he was really f*cking upset about that wet sock. :-)
My husband and I don't swear at each other, but I do understand having your buttons pushed and needing to react in same right then and there.
I try not to have those volatile conversations with my husband until the kids are asleep. I've had to check myself and also check my husband. I've gotten better by saying "I'm trying to have a conversation, not a yelling match." And that tends to calm us both down, and remember the kids are there.
It will be hard because it's something you and your boyfriend grew up with your whole lives, it's your life-style and a very hard change to make because it's often done in moments of frustration or anger. I think you need to make a conscious effort when thing escalate to not do it.
Are you and dad actually going to eat the soap when he brings it to you next time? Because, believe me, he will remember and be relishing in the chance to make mom and dad eat soap. If you don't you'll be showing him that punishments are not to be taken seriously. You are a brave soul for offering that one up!
All the best.
I have the WORST mouth. My husband gets so annoyed, with me. I'm lucky because my kid has yet to repeat anything ( he's 9). I tell my son, " those words are meant for adults & when you are an adult, you can choose to use them / not". I also tell him , it's a horrible habit I wish I would choose different words. Let me add, I don't walk around cussing all day, maybe a couple words a week. I really have to watch myself , during times that could be inappropriate if I said what I wanted to. Good Luck. Hopefully, after you're done feeling bad , you will see a little humor in the story.
My sister instituted a swear jar. She had to put in a quarter every time she cursed, and my neice loved being the one to call her out on it. The money added up fast and my sister slowly got better since it was really hurting her pocket-book, and it forced her to pay attention to how much she cursed.
They used the money for fun mother/daughter activities.
When I was just out of college I worked as a nanny. So, needless to say, I could NOT swear in front of those children. I had to actually stop swearing EVERYWHERE, because it was too difficult to be cursing it up at night with my friends and then come in the next day and not slip. My friends started looking at me funny when I started saying "Oh sugar!" instead of "Oh sh*t!" But it worked. I never slipped in front of them.
So far the same theory has worked with my own children, who have also been heard to say "Oh sugar!"
Good luck.
