Hi moms, I have a 4 year old son who is not circumcised. I feel guilty now for not allowing him to get circumcised when born. I read about the pros and cons before giving birth and was for it all the way but when it came down to it I just said no. I don't know if it was selfish in my part but I do regret it I guess. He's doing just fine however I feel as he'll be the laugh of his peers when he's older. Everyone I know, who has a son, have had him circumcised and I guess it's now beginning to bother me. Would he hate me about it when he's older? I'm just feeling guilty.... Any advise or thoughts would be appreciated.
I had my oldest circ. because my mother told me to. My two other sons are not. Never an issue! Circumcised men have infections too. It has to do with cleanliness. I agree this is sexual mutilation and it must end!
As long as you can keep the area clean, it should be ok. I had an ex boyfriend who deeply resented the fact that he WAS circumcised. It seemed that you get more of a feeling of stimulation if you are not circumcised. Tell you son he will appreciate it more when he is older.
Hi P..
My son is 7 months, and we decided to NOT circumsize. There are no medical benefits to doing it. Most of the world does not even do it. Don't feel guilty. You are a great mama and your son will appreciate it one day!
Why do you feel guilty for telling them NOT to remove a natural part of your child's body. It is quite common for boys not to be circumsized now. My 5 year old is not, and my best friend's 5 year old is not, and neither is my almost 2 year old. There have been no problems with it. I think with it becoming more common there is less likely to be the whole teasing issue, and I think when they get older they will be thanking us for letting well enough alone.
I have one son who is circumcised and one who is not. I deeply regret having the circumcision done. The more I have learned about circumcision over the years the more I regret it too. I have ZERO regrets about leaving my other son intact. I also applaud you for not consenting to the procedure. You will never have to explain to your son that you paid a doctor to cut off a functional pleasure-enhancing part of his body for the sake of asthetics.
PS - I read some interesting blog posts on this subject a while back. Here is a link in case you are interested. http://www.mycharmingkids.net/search/label/circumcision
P.,
We made the same decision when our son was born. When my husband researched what happened to the baby during the procedure, he would not have it. He wanted him to have the sensation that he has never known. Trust that you made your choice for a reason. MANY more boys are NOT being circumcised these days, it's about 50% now. We are confident that our son will not be the only one in his class that won't be, and we think he'll be thankful one day that we made this decision for him at a time when he could not. If he chooses when he's a little older to have the procedure, we will support him. I'd rather he make the choice than had it made for him. You're a good Mom, trust your heart. You did a good thing for him.
Hugs,
T.
I had my 2 sons circumcised due to the fact that I had 2 friends I grew up with and an uncle that had to be circumcised in their thirties due to medical issues. They explained to me that most men do not have problems later in life but there is a small percentage that could so with not knowing if there would be problems later I just went ahead with the process as newborns. Maybe you can speak with a urologist more about it before making any other decisions.
As America is becoming increasingly multicultural, more and more boys aren't getting circumcised. My hubby is from Ireland and he thinks circumcision is barbaric.
Don't worry about it. Your son won't be alone, more and more people aren't doing it.
I talked with my doctor after having my son circumsized about the precuatuions and how to take care of it and he said in the event that it doesn't heal well or starts to grow back, he would need it re-cut again around the age of five. Why not talk to a doctor about doing it with a local or general anesthetic? How does your husband/SO feel about this?
Statistically speaking it's about 50/50 the ratio of circumcised vs uncircumcised. The trend (if you want to call it that) to NOT circumcise is gaining more popularity so if that's a concern I would worry about it. All 3 of my boys are not circumcised and I'm glad we did it for the right reasons. So whenever you start to doubt yourself think of all the positive reasons.
In many, many other cultures and communities here in the USA and abroad, circumcision is NOT the norm. It is such a personal decision and you should not feel guilty about your choice at all!! Your son is lucky to have a mama who thinks so carefully and often about his health, both physical and emotional. It is more common that you think here in the USA to not circumcise and I am sure he will fit right in when he is a grown-up someday!
One of my nephews was the only boy in my family to be circumcised. That was because it was the thing to do. Sure there are risks but no one has had any problem that I have ever heard. My son was not circumcised, due to a bleeding issue and because I told them no. As long as he keeps himself clean, he should be fine. I have had to really get on my son with cleaning when he was younger. As to being teased, I don't see why he would be. And why would his friends be examining him there anyway? Unfortunately there are so many other things kids pick on each other about.
My husband was not when he was a baby, and his parents must not have taught him proper hygiene habits, because at the age of 7 he had to have a circumcision done due to very frequent urinary tract infections. He remembers it VERY clearly and insisted that we have our boys circumcised. He is also a physician who has had several middle aged and elderly men come to him, complaining about lifelong struggles with UTI's. He refers them to urologists, and most of the time, they end up getting circumcised. Who knows if their infections could have been prevented with better hygiene.
Recent studies in Africa have shown a MUCH lower STD transmission rate amongst circumcised men. No amount of hygiene can prevent STDs, so I would think that this would be the strongest argument FOR circumcision.
Either way, I do not think you should let it bother you too much. Although, when asked, my hubby will tell you that he wished his parents would have done it at birth, he is not angry with them.
My son was never circumcised and he is 21 now. Lives a completely normal life. I think we are becoming a society that is more aware that people just live and do thing differently. With that awareness there is less teasing in school and less thought that someone is "weird" because they are different. Be open about the situation and when he is older he can choose to have it done.
My sons are 8 and 4 and neither is circumscised. At times, I feel the same way you do. Did I make the right decision? When I feel this way, I start to research all of the reasons why I chose not to do it. This helps reassure me that I did indeed make the right decision. Like many others, if my sons chose to be circumcised when they are older, I will support thier decision. But from what I have read most do not choose to do so.
Hearing from other moms on here helps also. Now we know that your son, my sons, and the other boys mentioned here are all not circumcised. Ours are not the only ones.
That's ridiculous. Let's face it-- if you err on the side you did (assuming you think it was a mistake) he can always have it done later. If you had erred on the other side you would be SOL (sure out of luck). Have you ever seen the movie "Europa, Europa" -- a boy tries to "undo" this later, and it isn't pretty.
My son is not. My husband is not. Most of the rest of the world is not. If you are jewish, I would reconsider. If not, I wouldn't worry. My husband insists that the gym locker room has a suprising number of men that are not. Don't even SUGGEST it to him-- he wouldn't part with any of himself!;-) I'm being a little light-hearted here- but hope this helps. The one way nature of the procedure is what put me over the edge.
