D.B.
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Okay my sister is having a wedding this weekend she came home from europe to have her wedding with her family. Accept she has totally neglected the family- we have no idea what is going on we have heard wind of a bachelor/bachelorette party but apparently the only ones invited are the grooms family that came over from europe and one of our sisters, we (other sisters/cousins/aunts) have heard about a "girls night" but have never actually been invited. Keep in mind we have family in from all over the country/world here for this wedding the only one that knows anything is one sister and my sisters best friend and the family from Europe that they see everyday the rest of us are just in the dark. Oh and also she has made a huge deal about having my Grandmother at her wedding but has not made arrangements to get grandma to the wedding and home- she is 83 years old and not in great health and the wedding is an hour away from her house. So I ask you would you be upset at any of this, she stays at my house every other year she has come home I talk to her often while she is gone and yet feel I and other family members have been purposely excluded. Should I feel this way?
Thank you all,
The wedding went off without a hitch older sister brought grandma and took her home because she lives close. My sister looked amazing and the night was great fun. It would have probably not gone as well had I not listened to you so Thank you ladies
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I don't know how you "should" feel, but why not go see your sister and without judgement ask her a few questions so at least you know what to expect.
1) Who is invited to the party?
2) Have you arranged to get Grandma to the wedding or can I help you with that?
It's hard to plan a wedding and keep everyone happy. so I would say do your best to keep the bride happy. You are entitled to your feelings but at this point its probably best to keep them to yourself.
Yes, I'd be upset.
Reading your update, it sounds like you are taking a great approach. Planning a wedding is hard work, especially if you're doing it from out of town. It's likely that your sister doesn't mean to exclude her family, rather is trying to make sure her out of town guests have a nice time.
Regarding the bachelorette party, she shouldn't be planning it anyway. Who is the maid of honor? It is the responsibility of the maid of honor and brides maids to throw the bachelorette party. It sounds like its not very orgainzed. Maybe you could the MOH if she needs help with it.
You can be right and ruin your relationship with her, or you can decide that you will simply ignore whatever upsets you and let her take care of things however she does it.
I am from Europe and when I go back (given not for a big thing like a wedding, but on other occasions) I do no longer try to meet with everybody. Even if I am back for several weeks, I would rather spend some quality time with a few people than rush around trying to please everyone. I tried that but it just ends up in a lot of stress and is very unsatisfying for all sides. If she sees or talks to your close family members often, she may simply enjoy the company of those people that she does not usually get to see, right now. She may also try to show the in laws around a bit before the wedding.
If you have a really good relationship I would talk to her, but if it could shake things up, I would just go with the flow.
Good luck!
Weddings are crazy and no one is ever satisfied not even the bride. I would just be the patient one and just simply say when you can, " I am here if you need anything " " I would love to go if there is room " " I can't wait for the day, it will be so fun " .
She seem inconsiderate, but it is a huge undertaking especially if there is out of town people, her new hubby's family... that is a big focus for a bride to try and take care of them.
Hang in there.
