I am not trying to offend anyone with this question. I know it is not polite or appropriate to discriminate based on weight, but I have concerns about a man who was recently hired at my son's daycare. He is very large, at least 500, maybe even 600 pounds. The kids sleep on mats on the floor during nap. I am worried that this man could step on a child or if he tripped and fell on one he would break their little spine. I know this may seem far-fetched, but this center is very small and everything is crammed in two adjoining rooms. I have almost stepped on children when going there during nap time. My other concern is his ability to help a child if something happens. My son does not know about cars enough for me to trust him not to run into the street. (He's 3). We talk about it all the time and on walks I show him how to look and listen, but I know that if his ball rolled out in the road- he would still run after it. Now, his daycare has no fence. It is actually located inside an elementary school, so the preschoolers walk through the parking lot to go down to the playground. I just do no think this man could chase and catch a child if they decided to run away. The children in this preschool are ages 2- 5. I just wanted to know what other moms thought and if they would have the same concerns, if it was their child. Please be honest. I have not said anything because I know how awful it sounds, but besides this there are other safety issues I have with this daycare center. I would love to switch and have called EVERY center in town, but no one is accepting new preschoolers...
Ok, well I knew I would get some negative reaction with this question.. To those who said that I was just ,"looking for an excuse to get out of a daycare I already have concerns with.."- I want you to know this: This man is 680lbs, ( A teacher told me today). There is a 6 to 1 ratio and 12 kids in a class, so this man is responsible for 6 kids. He cannot bend over to tie their shoes, help them use the bathroom, assist them down from the big toy, etc... He is limited because of his size. Yes, I had several concerns with some safety issues with this daycare, but I knew my son had 2 amazing teachers who did a great job. The reason this was the last straw is because- the director hired him when she knew he would not be able to perform the job description... So all those safety issues are way more pressing when I do not feel confident in his caretakers. Now, as for him tripping on kids.. I realize even a skinny person could step on a child. I admit that it has almost happend to me many times there, but he cannot see his feet and has a 3 foot blind spot area around him, so walking through the land-mines of sleeping kids really is that much more dangerous. The daycare recently lost half of its space so they really are crammed and at nap time it is most evident. I am on the waiting list at over 20 daycares in the area. I am not a mean person. I am going to school for nursing and my last caretaking job was for a bed-ridden 700lb man. That is part of why I am so skeptical of his ability to effectively care for these kids. I have talked to other moms and they all agree that it is not an ideal situation and we would never hire someone who cannot chase and keep up with our children to ever watch them. Also, this man's stomach hangs down to the ground when he sits and he has all this extra skin. The kids are scared to death of him and it makes dropping them off more difficult. I just do not think it is appropriate for him to work with the kids since he cannot do any work. We went on a field trip last week and this man came.. He could not keep up when we were walking and was blocks behind the group. He was dripping with sweat and looked like he was about to have a heart attack form walking 4 blocks. And on the ride home, it started pouring down rain; we were downtown, on a busy street, the kids were disoriented and scared and he could not help. I was too exhausted last night to write all of this, but I just wanted those who thought I was saying bad things about overweight people to know-- this is a real issue that could have serious concequences. And that I am NOT exaggerating and he is really morbidly obease... Even if he was there as a volunteer I would still worry about him stepping on a child. I just do not think it is safe!
Yes I would have the same concerns. This isn't as drastic, but my mom is overweight.....we were walking down the street the other day with my 18 month old niece and my niece took off and my mom couldn't catch her, I had to catch her (which wasn't hard for me at ALL) but my mom couldn't because she is too overweight. So you have a very valid concern.
Is he really that heavy or are you exaggerating. I can't imagine a person being able to even get out of bed at 500-600 lbs at least any of the ones I have come across can barely move without some type of assistance. The school wouldn't have hired him if they didn't feel he could do his job.
I am sitting here with my jaw on the ground. The blantant discrimination & paranoia of some of these answers absolutely astounds me. I admit to being overweight & am offended. The size or gender of a person has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with how well they can do a job-even daycare. Why shouldn't men be allowed to do childcare? The center would not have hired him if they didn't think that he could do the job properly. Don't blame your concerns (that you admit to being there before he came along) on this man. If you're worried about your child's safety, find a new center.
Those that are saying his weight doesn't effect his ability to care for the kids are assuming that you believe he would be negligent. I'm sorry, but little kids are fast and I am 8 months pregnant and can't catch up to my little one. I have only gained about 35 lbs but I, like morbidly obese people, have balance issues and find it is very difficult to chase after him when he takes off in the back yard or at the store (if I loose my mind for a mind and put him down!).
Political correctness aside, it is important to make the distinction between can this man care for your child and can he keep your child safe. Can he care for him and give him all the love and attention he needs? Of course! But I don't think that is what you are saying. You are worried that he can't keep your son safe- whether from the man himself falling or from the other obstacles around (cars, parking lot, etc.) and I believe you are completely valid in that worry.
Finally- I would agree that you observe the school during the times when they are making the transition to the playground etc and see how many aides they have making sure the kids are safe. If you don't like what you see, you are completely within your rights to let them know that you don't think it is safe and you would like to see something else done for that.
If you're so concerned, then I suggest you start interviewing for someone to care for your child privately. Please remember that it would be considered discrimination for them to NOT hire this man due to his weight. You never know what his situation is that put him in this battle. Perhaps this man is in the process of losing weight and is finally to the point where he's able to get out and about and function? Just because he's fat doesn't mean he's not able to care for a child.
Any of the safety concerns you mentioned could happen with someone working there who is thin. A child can run away from anyone, and it only takes a few seconds for them to get in the street. Even if the person is thin they may not get to the child quick enough.
If the kids are on the ground and even YOU almost tripped on a child, then anyone could injure a kid. 100 lbs of falling dead weight can injure a child too. Most average adults weigh over 100 lbs.
I get your worried, maybe this obese man brought your concerns out even more, point is look at the bigger picture (uhhhh no pun intended there, lol) the facility itself has some safety and space issues, and thats dangerous for people of ALL sizes.
Keep calling places until another space opens up.
If you are not comfortable with this environment, you need to find another daycare. You also mentioned other safety issues at this daycare in your post. If it were me, I'd find another daycare. I've had kids in both daycare and preschool and my advice to you is that you need to have a peace of mind. You need to know that your baby is safe and secure.
Just my 2 cents,
M.
it would depend on the personality of the man, personally, i have a MIL who is of similar weight - i am constantly amazed at how this woman functions every day - and she will do twice what i do in a day, every single day. it astounds me. she will leave the house at 6 am and not get home till 8 or 9 pm some days. she is constantly going. (not sure how she has gained and kept so much weight to be honest). i am a large woman, not THAT large but i wear a 2x or 3x shirt, so that gives you an idea...and i am one of the hardest workers i know. i will outwork anyone in my office some days. so it's not just the size. and no i don't think that he will step on a child or trip over them. fat does not = clumsy, careless or blind. personally i would not dream of saying a word. (not only that, but kids act different at school. yes even "runners", tend to behave better when in a group, where everyone for the most part follows the crowd and behaves. it's the good side of peer pressure)
what would worry me more is the lack of fence. what the heck? THAT alone would make me change preschools. keep calling the others. if you have to, get on a waiting list. if your child is only 3 there is plenty of time.
i feel the same as you!!! and if someone is offended that is their problem, seeing as i myself am overweight and i am not offended by this....i wouldnt want him working there either...dont know how you would bring this topic up without causing some serious issues...good luck with that, just wanted you to know that i'm with ya!
Wow. Just wow. You're right, it is not "polite or appropriate" in any way. And, yes, it does "sound awful."
YOU could probably snap a spine yourself if you stepped in a 2 yo.
Get on all the waiting lists and take some FMLA leave if you're that concerned about the fat guy.
Have you ever watched the tv show Mike and Molly? Heavy people can be very functional. Maybe you should strike up a conversation with him so you can see past his fat, that might ease your mind some :)
There are many large people who are able to do things well. That should not really be an issue for you, unless you know that THIS man cannot do the job. You seem to be saying that YOUR day care has safety issues and that you suspect that they also hired someone who may not be able to do the job, which may or may not be the case for this particular man. If you know that this man cannot carryout the job and puts children at risk, then you should say something about his ablity, not his weight and all the "what ifs." You seem to already have plenty of reasons to complain, why focus on the big man? Safety is safety...if children are not safe walking through this parking lot, they are not safe, large man or not. There are plenty of slow skinny people, or skinny people who do not pay attention, or skinny people who might trip over kids, and the force of thier skinny body would be dangerous too...
I should say, I am a large person, but I am active, and I function well. I have never lost a kid, nor fallen on one, and most of us know our own limitations, I probably would not tiptoe around a bunch of sleeping kids anyway, and maybe nobody should...which brings me to another issue you should be focusing on...kids and adults of any size should never be crammed in anywhere. It is a safety issue in and of itself, and if this day care is in a public school, there are very specific square footage per child requiredments in building and education codes. Call the fire department and report this today, and when you do, take a look at the size of some of the firefighters...while not fat, I am sure that you will find some of them to be larger than you would expect, given the work that they do. You may want to reconsider assumptions based on size, and move more toward individual performance.
I hope you take steps to see that all these kids are safe. You will be taken more seriously (and might get help from the large man too) if you focus on things that have nothing to do with personal size.
M.
First off, my concerns and worries would be similar to yours. One misstep and he would crush someone if he fell on top of them.
But before you make any recommendations or changes, would it be possible to spend a couple hours 'observing' or volunteering where you can actually watch the man in question? Then, based on the man's agility and interaction with the kids, decide what is safest for you and your little one.
I think whether the person is obese or not, accidents can happen at any weight. That said, to ease your mind, why not discuss your safety concerns in general with the owner and see what their procedures are to assist children should there ever be an emergency. You needn't bring up the aspect about the person being obese, but as a concerned parent, I think it's worth asking important questions such as ,what do you do in the event of a fire, what IF this or that happened. and too, it might ease your mind if you introduced yourself to the new person and truly get a sense of what this person's character is like. I have known plenty of thin people in my life for whom I would NOT trust with my life with :) and yet plenty of fat people as well that would go to great lengths to ensure a child was safe. Again, speak about your safety concerns while leaving the obese aspect out. Statistically speaking... there is probably more of a chance of kid having "other" types of harm brought to them than being crushed by an obese person... Just to help you get clear on the probability factor here of something like that going down..
best of luck
About your safety concerns you can call the county. If they come to inspect which they should they can decide about the very obese man. I hope he can keep his job if he is good with the children. It might help him get his self esteem up and he could lose weight.
I would be alot more concerned about the lack of space or fence than the size of a particular worker there. Just my 2 cents.
No, it would not be discrimination to not hire this guy because of his weight. Fat people are not a protected class. It would be discrimination to not hire him because he is a man. I don't think you should be made to feel badly about your concern. I am sure the center took great care in hiring someone who could do a good job, though. But you are the mom and if you continue to feel unconfortable (even if the reasons are not "legitimate") then either speak to the director or move him to another daycare. Keep calling around and get on a waitlist.
Re-read all the responses... not completely sure how I feel about this.
My son's preschool teacher, female, is what would most likely be considered morbidly obese. She is approximately 5'2" (judging by my own height of 5'4", and she's noticeably shorter than me), and I'd estimate her weight at over 250 lbs, probably closer to 300 lbs (again, based on my own weight at about 175, and she is significantly bigger than me.)
She does a good job with the class of (15) 4 year olds, but she does have a aide, and they do not nap, or go outside where they are walking across any streets. To date, they have not even gone on the playground, which is in the back of the school in a big field, with woods behind... so very little traffic concern.
I don't have the same safety situations present, as no naps/tripping over kids, or the street or parking lot to contend with, so I never felt that my son's teacher couldn't handle the responsibilities of her classroom. I guess it really depends on the specific situation/person.
It sounds like you are uncomfortable with this daycare center for a number of reasons. Even if you decided this man could effectively care for the children, you would still be uneasy. Keep calling the other centers, and if there are several you really like, call them regularly. Even if they have a waiting list, they are more likely to give a spot to someone who is currently looking and ready to switch, than to take the time to call a list of people who may have already found another center by then.
Eh... One one side, I say it's ok, but on the other, it's the positioning on the road that bothers me. I almost enrolled my DD in MDO but my biggest concern was the main road that's on. I know my kid. I know that she will run. It made me uneasy and I decided against it. Only YOU know your child and only YOU know how uneasy a situation may make you feel. If this is a concern, bring it up. It's hard, I know. I hate conversations like this, believe me!!! I finally decided that only eye have an eye and patience for my child and the best place for her was with me and that's panned out very well so far, especially since I babysit.
