Explaining Heaven/Death to a 3 Year Old

Hi Stacy...sorry to hear you're freaking out over this, but try to stay calm. I doubt it's anything close to what you're worrying about (the premonitions,etc) more likely that it's something he's not familiar with and is trying to understand it. My son was a week shy of turning 3 when my father died and he didn't question it at the time, but a few monhts afterward started to. I have pictures of my Dad in both of my boys rooms and he would look at the picture and ask me "where's Grandpa". I was so shocked the first time he asked, but simply said that "Grandpa went to heaven to live with God". That worked for a while, then I got the "why" questions. I explained that Grandpa was old and getting tired and then he got a "boo boo" that we couldn't fix so it was time for him to go to be with God; but that he could see us and watch what we're doing and that we can talk to him whenever we want to". I was sure to explain to him the difference between kids getting boo boos and old people getting boo boos so he wasn't confused the next time he gets one. Good luck, I'm sure you'll be able to make him understand.

First - children that ask a lot of questions are said to be smart!! so thats great. Show him the other dogs.. and then point out that the other dog was very very old and lived many many years. Tell him that you can send a balloon to someone in heaven.. I do that with my kids.. we send a balloon up to heaven once a year to Nanny. Then tell him that when a dog is very old they go to Heaven to live on the clouds.. and you can wave to them. But show him that the other dogs are still here.. and you and your husband are still here... and won't go to heaven for a very long time. Maybe even see if the bookstore has a book on heaven or dying (read it first to see if it is what you want your child to know) After all this explaining.. if he keeps bringing it up... try to change the subject.. also take down the picture of the dog.. maybe he keeps seeing it. and that is why the question keeps coming up.. good luck

I suppose your respose should reflect your religious beliefs. Do you believe that there really is a heaven? If you do and that when you go there we get to be face to face with God and adore Him for eternity, that's not a sad or frightening thing. Kids don't doubt the belief in God like adults do. Also, always be honest and don't lie to him just to get out of having a hard conversation.

hi stacy. i could use some insight on this myself, we are struggling. but one thing i will say is that to him, "forever" and even "a very long time" is too abstract. one thing i was told is to give it some sort of concrete timeline, like... long after you get to be a teenager like (a teenager he knows) and after you get married like... and after you have your own kids like me and so on... beyond that, i will be checking back here to get help myself. i wish you the best, its so hard.

I'd say to check with the children's librarian for some books on a pet's death and use those as a springboard to discuss death with your son. 3 yr olds have no concept to time so they don't understand anything in the future. He's asking anything that pops in his head as his way of trying to put all the pieces together.

My father died a while back and we had to explain everything to my grandkids ages 2-6. A few weeks later one of my cats was hit by a car and my 4 yr old grandson was really upset over it but we were able to comfort him by letting him think that Charlie was with Papa up in heaven. He seemed better knowing that they were together.

So take a deep breath and stop being freaked out over your son's questions. He's just trying to figure it out. Make sure you don't say someone was sick and died or went to sleep. Instead say someone had a disease and died. If he presses on what a disease is the simple answer is that it's when something really bad happens inside your body, not like a cold or being sick where you can take medicine to make you better.