Experience with Paternity Testing for an Older Child Questioning Paternity?

Since she feels she needs the test, I suppose she should take it. It's very good you already have a family therapist to help the situation.

You know, I look NOTHING like my family. I got every single recessive gene. I am petite, blond haired, small nosed,green eyed. Everyone in my family is built large, brown hair, long noses, very tall, brown eyes. Just the exact opposite of me. I am most certainly biologically from my parents. (There was never a question, they have both been faithful spouses.) My husband is 5'9 and had bright blonde hair before he lost it at a really young age, blue eyes. He is built short and stalky. His brother is VERY tall, lanky, dark skinned, long brown curly hair, dark eyes, face looks nothing like his. They are biological. I have known families who have two different races in the parents, and have several children that look like one of the single races. What I'm saying is, children don't always look like parents or siblings. Genes and DNA are complicated and there is decades and decades of people intermixing their DNA. Not everyone can always look alike, it's not possible!!

I'm sorry - I have not been through this.

I would get the paternity test done. Just so that she can know.

My daughter was 5 when I married my husband. She was not his and we all knew it. although we had been together long enough that she didn't really understand it. When she was a teenager she started to get out of control. She ran away a lot etc so we ended up doing some extreme things. one of them was a long term residential behavior program. during a lot of the counciling it came out that she knew her dad was not her real dad. Her biological dad had checked out very early in her life and said he didn't believe she was his (only one I had slept with ever I was 19) anyway I went on about my business taking care of her and just erased him out of my life. When my daughter was 15 we went to court and a dna test was ordered. by that time he was an adult and ready for a relationship of some sort. they are in contact now although my husband is dad. the test itself was easy. she went to a clinic where she was at in the program, and i had to go here near our home and he went in MN where he lived. no muss no fuss and results were back in about 6 weeks. (those tv things where they get results in about 5 mins are really not real. we had the occasional your not my dad i don't have to listen to you but those were few and far between. not sure if that helped but there it is lol.

I can say that as a child who has quietly questioned paternity to give this to her. She is lost and confused, looking for a place to belong and no matter how "ready" you think you are you never are ready to hear it. Tell her she is brave, you support her and will be there for her no matter the results. Expect her to drift away no matter the answer as she continues the search for herself. Should he not be the bio dad support her in her search for him - he does deserve a chance to know the truth too! I only have not, even at 30 tested because my family has had enough fall out, and I have been the only "glue" I am not ready to possibly dissolve and be the bringer of the heart ache. It is a HUGE thing for her to love herself enough to share this with everyone else - know this is not something she has taken lightly.

Before I attended school I swore I was switched in the hospital: strawberry blonde hair, green eyes, really tall and fair. My parents were dark haired, dark eyes, shorter and crazy. I look nothing like them! It took basic genetics in elementary school for me to understand recessive genes.

If it was a 50/50 chance and she has asked for a DNA test, I would do it for her. He needs to make her feel secure and loved or there's a chance she can can rebel.

My daughter is adopted and my sister is her biological mother. We couldn't care if she came from Mars or the zoo...she is our daughter. People always thought I was the nanny but we don't care. She has my reddish highlights naturally in her dark brown hair and thinks that's pretty cool.

Good luck!

My son was 10 months old when I met my husband and 2 1/2 when we got married and 5 1/2 when my husband adopted him. He knows he's adopted and we celebrate it every year. He is now 13 and never really asked questions to me. He did when he was little to my mom who could not answer any quesions. When he was born I was pretty sure I knew who the bio was but now that he's older I think I was wrong. I honestly dread the day he comes and asks me cause I know I need to be honest with him. Someone did ask him a few months back infront of me if he ever wondered about him and he said no. And they asked if it was because my husband is his dad and he said yes.
If she is that couisous I would say go ahead and do it.

Good luck and God Bless!