Expecting in 3 Months..

Hi Lacey,

Have you tried to find any kind of Mom's group or play group? It is so helpful to talk with Mom's who have recently gone through what you are experiencing. It's hard alone. The playground is a good place, but it's getting cold. If you plan to take a birthing class, you could look for connections there. How about looking into Mommy and Me classes? If you are the brave type, you could even initiate a play group. Some Moms have done it through this website. I tend to isolate myself, and I so much wish I had had the nerve to do some of these things when my son was a baby. I'm an older Mom as well (41 at the birth of my son) and I work so I have found it hard to connect with other Moms. You are very young so you may experience similar feelings but at the other end of the age range. That group of people where you feel supported and comfortable, they are out there.

I wish you the best! Everything is going to be ok! It's a very profound time, scarey, exciting, the feelings are overwhelming, and beautiful!

C.

Hi

You are blessed to be having a beautiful baby. Just relax and concentrate on staying healthy, your anxiety could transfer itself to the baby and cause pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure during pregnancy)... Speak to your health care provider to reassure yourself if you think you are underweight.. After securing that information you should just relax and enjoy motherhood. There are no gaurantees so just ask God for guidance and you will make it...

Be blessed and I hope I have been a little help

T.

Hang in there Lacy, you have all of us. You are going to be ok, your baby is going to be ok, and you only have so much control over what happens next. Do your best to improve the things that you have control over and let the rest go. Take care of yourself and stay calm and relax. Most of pregnancy and birth and motherhood is a head game that you play with yourself. Conquering your fears and staying calm is the hardest part if all of it. Work to keep yourself calm and you will be fine. You will be able to face anything that comes along. Giving birth is hard but it is only one day. One day in your life that you will make it through. The moms are always here for you.

dear lacey,
congrats!!!! i am a mother of three, i live in NY and i do not have any family here as well, except for my husband.
having a baby is the most wonderful thing in the world! you will love your baby so much!!
everybody is scared! especially the first time! and remember your hormones have a lot to do with it! everything will be just fine, it will be hard at first but it will be fine!! after birth if you feel sad and depressed or even think you won't love your baby, that would be called post partum depression and you can treat that! ask your gyno for help if it gets too much!! a bit of "baby blues" is normal, then again some women never experience it. i had a bad case with my first, mild with my 3rd and none with my 2nd!
all in all just like this site which is so wonderful there are a lot support groups! don't be shy to use them! anything from coping with breast feeding to depression to simple question about babycare and weekly support group meetings with other new moms!
but i will promise you will be fine and you won't be able to imagine life without your new little one. ultimately it will be the best thing that ever happened to you!!

and labor... if you are afraid of the pain get an epidural! they are absolutely safe, actually you will be less stressed out and tired,which helps whenyou get ready for your first day/night with your baby!

all the best,
N.

Hi,

I think I responded to one of your previous posts. Being pregenant is a roller coaster--I am on for my second ride and I don't even like real roller coasters! Most things do end up working out okay even if it is not as perfect as you might imagine. Motherhood seems to be by nature messy and imperfect and you get used to a certian amount of that.

Here are some more ideas of places you might meeet more mom friends: local library playgroup or story hour for babies& toddlers, La Leche League meeting (they are a breastfeeding support group but are run by experienced moms), online parenting group (Meetup.com has listings for groups in all areas, MOMS club also can help you find a local club). You might want to check out the book Motherless Daughters. There is also a web site I think so you might be able to connect with other women who are in a similar situation.

hi lacey! first congratulations for your baby!!:) Babies are a blessing and the most precious treasure a woman can have. And don't worry by God's mercy everything will be ok you will feel pain and its normal to be nervous (belive me I have three children the youngest one is only 2 months and my nervous system was as nervous as can be!!) But as soon as you see that cute little bundle so defenseless all shaking and crying his or her lungs out:) you'll forget about everything and cry for the joy of seeing your little one finally and be able to hold him and kiss him and cuddle him and on... I get so sentimental (crying:) but don't worry just trust God and hold on to your boyfriend when labor starts! Good luck and God bless!!

Hi Lacey,

The unexpected is always a bit scary. But first things first you have gained weight (YEAH). I remember when I had my first child 19 years ago the anticipation of waiting to give birth put all types of thoughts in my head. My daughter only weighed 4lbs at birth and now is a healthy 5'6 young lady in college. Just take one day at a time. You are doing fine. Pray and ask God to give you some peace. Hey you have a lot of moms on the Mamasource and we are concerned about you.

Take care of yourself.

C.

Hi Lacey, I have written to you before. Sounds like you are doing great. Now 105 lbs! Try to enjoy this time and think about the wonderful baby you are carrying. Try not to be afraid as that will not help. The baby feels your anxiety. I know you cannot change who you are but try some relaxation tapes. Find something to keep your mind occupied. Join a knitting club and make a blanket for your little one. Many blessings, Grandma Mary

Hi Lacey
Did you write to us earlier this year about being afraid to gain weight? If it's you, my how time flies. The last 3 months are the scariest and the most fun because you spend night and day imagining what your baby girl will be like, what kind of mother you'll be. It's so exciting. I rememeber crying one night when my husband got home because I just couldn't take being pregnant one more day. Then, to top it off, I was 12 days late!! It''s going to be nerve wracking and doesn't get better until you hear the little baby. I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but I can only tell you every day is a new experience. My daughter is 7 months old now, and she is the absolute best thing i've ever done! I enjoy her with every bit of my soul!
Have you tried reading. I know I read every book I could get my hands on - BELLY LAUGHS, What to Expect, RIE- CARING FOR INFANTS WITH RESECT, Girlfriends Guide, Pregnancy Journals, Natural Family Pregnancy. It helped me to fantasize and helped pass the time, and helped educate me on my choice of parenting styles. These women's stories are helpful to know that you are not alone, that we've been doing this for centuries.
Good luck - you've come this far and you're doing a great job. Don't be surprised if you really start showing in your 9th month - and take this chance to take care of you and what you're eating - but have some fun ( I ate icecream every night in the last 3 months). Good luck and stay in touch. We all look forward to hearing from you!!!

Dear Lacey,
I am worried about you. I don't agree with the other messages you received. It sounds like you need some serious urgent help right NOW!
It doesn't sound from your email like you are getting adequate prenatal care, for you or the baby. I don't know where you live, but there is an excellent health care center for adolescents at Mount Sinai Hospital on the Upper East Side. (Yes, you are still considered an adolescent medically). Please call them at: ###-###-####. It doesn't seem like you have gained enough weight and this is really important to have thoroughly checked by a doctor who is very familiar with the special concerns of pregnant adolescents like yourself.
You also need counseling and people to talk to who understand your needs. The Adolescent Health Center, or another place like this one, can help you with all of the different needs that you have.
Please feel free to email me directly if you feel I can be of further help.

Pray girl pray!

Every expectant mother was and still is fearful of many things. Its not usual, and you're not alone. Find yourself a quiet place and pray.

Go to a local playground, I know its October, and talk to the mothers there they will understand, and hopefully you'll connect with someone there who can serve as your official or unofficial mother figure. Trust we girls are full of advice. We seen it all.

Hang in there!

Blessings to you and your family.