Exparte Orders??

You know, last time you posted you were worried about getting sucked into these people's drama, now it sounds more like you are inserting yourself into it.

My advice would be to mind you own business (figuratively and literally). If I was a potential client of yours and heard through the grapevine that you got involved into another parent's divorce drama, I would think of you as rather unprofessional.
Stay out of it and if you want to help mom, tell her to get herself a good lawyer. t does not really matter whether she is a liar, or sick and out of money, if she is currently unable to care properly for her kids, then her chances for custody decrease, even if she was a good mom for the last 2 years that you've known her. This is this family's divorce drama, not yours. Do not talk to them about anything but BUSINESS (drop off/pick up/payment/this is how the kid's day was) and stay out of it.
Good luck.

One and Done is right!!! What is wrong with you that you keep getting more and more involved with this???? I told you in your last post that you are putting your business in danger if you keep this up! I'm an insurance agent and am telling you that you can be sued for these things or in the very least be brought into court to testify for either parent. This is NOT your problem. You keep saying you "hate this" and how do you keep getting into these matters but you won't keep your mouth shut!!! You are a care provider being PAID to watch their kids, not get involved in their personal issues with each other. I hope something doesn't happen because you are asking for it. Good luck, you need it.

Being out of money and food and having the electricity turned off for longer than a day without asking for assistance can be a reason for the police to remove children from a home. I don't know about exparte orders. I do know that they can be gotten for different reasons. What does the father hope to accomplish with this order?

I also suggest that you stay out of this. As you said, it can become ugly and the innocent bystander is often the one who gets hurt.

With that thought, I think I might call the mother and ask if she needs help and if she agrees give her the phone numbers of places she can get food. The power company may be able to turn her electricity back on. I would do this because I do know of resources and have experience with the system.

If you don't have experience with the system, I'd recommend that you stay uninvolved. There are community resources available to the mom. If the mom contacts you, urge her to access those resources.

I don't know what you mean by missing in action for a few hours. You say you were worried for her. This seems to be an indication that all is not well. Do you know the father? It's possible he's just as concerned about his children as you and has a loving relationship with the kids.

Deciding who should have custody involves complicated issues that are best left to the experts to figure out. As you said the foster system is full. CSD will not keep children in foster care if there are adults related to the children who are able to care for them. Also I suggest that if CSD is involved their first step will be to help the mother so that she can keep the children in her care. It does get complicated when the father is asking for custody. You need to let the courts decide.

S. L. M. I quickly skimmed thru your previous posts on this situation. I urge you to stay out of it. I've been professionally involved in many similar cases. There is nothing that you can do that will be helpful, You're on her side and she's angry with you. This is an indication that she's not functioning in a rational way.

You've said you don't like being caught in the middle. You can take yourself out of the middle. Take care of the kids when they're with you. Tell the father and mother that you do not want to hear the details of their relationship. Be kind but uninvolved.

BTW: If you're feeling guilty because the father wasn't helpful, please don't continue to do so. It's not your fault. You did the appropriate and professional thing by calling him. The trouble that the mom is in as a result of that call was caused by her. If she'd communicated with you this wouldn't have happened. Keep the responsibility where it belongs; with the mom and dad.

I understand better now that I know the mom and kids are friends as well as clients. I sympathize with you. However, you do not have a friendship with the father. It is impossible for you to get the two of them together to talk. If, and I emphasize IF, they are to work this out they need a professional person to help them.

Mediation can be a part of divorce proceedings. Leave it to the court to force mediation. If you do have influence with the mother you could suggest she get a jump on it and go to counseling for the sake of the children. However, you've said she's angry with you. Please, for the sake of your children and others in your care as well as for you own well being back off from trying to do anything.

You are helping the children by being their consistent and caring care taker. Once you get involved with the parents you become a part of the chaos which isn't good for anyone.

And....in this sort of situation duking it out in court is much preferable to duking it out in person. Once a couple has reached this stage they have too much anger to work it out without help.

I agree that you shouldn't get involved any more than you have. If this dad files the orders, the judge isn't just going to give him custody on a whim. The kids won't go into foster care, the will go with him until permanent orders can be filed.

The fact is, even if she loves them and they love her, if she cannot provide them with stability, then they are NOT better off with her. Kids do need to feel loved, but they also need to feel safe and secure. They need lights, food, parents in their lives everyday. It's just as important as love.

internet fight, internet fight =) jk.

Anyone can run into court and file a motion ex-parte and then it's up to the judge to decide whether or not a true emergency exists and if it does, whether or not to hear the motion and take action. An ex-parte order would most likely not be for more than a day or two...however long it takes to locate the absent parent and schedule a hearing.

My step-daughter's mother and her estranged husband have ex-parte motions and hearings all over their divorce files. The judges have heard some of them, dismissed some etc. but none of the actions taken have been in effect for more than 24-48 hours (maybe 72 if filed on a Friday) and they were all back in court either the next day or the day after to both work things out.

I know it's hard to watch this trainwreck but you really must stay out of things as much as you can. The courts are full of professionals trained to handle messy family situations. Just be as consistent as you can with the kids while they're with you so that they know that at least one adult in their lives is reliable.

I'm sorry, but if my sitter was on mamapedia putting all of my information out there, I'd be PISSED. Do you have some kind of confidentiality with these people? I know you're not giving us names, but WOW!! In the last few posts you've given us more than enough about that. You need to just get rid of the family and cut your losses. I don't know why you continue to stay in this or why you haven't told them to get lost. I'm also confused as to how you are on here so often posting all about them when you have other people's kids that you are watching? Just some thoughts...

Stay out of it, get rid of them, and take care of the kids who's parents are responsible. and you'll be fine. I agree with the insurance agent, you are definitely putting your business in jeopardy with all of this drama.

It's really going to depend on what he puts in his declaration in support of the application for the ex-parte order. Ex-Parte orders are submitted directly to the judge who then decides if an order should be entered. He/She only has one side of the situation and makes their determination assuming that everything in the declaration is true. Usually, in a family law situation, the order would be temporary pending a full hearing with both sides being heard. I don't think they would rule against the mom because she is having some financial difficulties. In fact, the judge may order that the dad pay the mom some money if he is in a position to do so and the children are suffering (without power is suffering). As for her "missing in action for a few hours" it would depend on if she had made good, responsible arrangements for the care of the children during her absence. If she did, then I wouldn't think she has anything to worry about.