Exercise Classes and Kids

I know how you feel. When you work full time you feel guilty adding additional time away. Find a club or class where childcare is offered. I did that---I found an aerobics studio that offered childcare literally outside the door of my class. Later as my kids got bigger I joined a very well known gym that had childcare as well. An additional benefit was my kids saw my husband and I working out from the time they were little and, as a result (I think) they became quite athletic themselves!

Go to your classes. I work full-time and there are times I feel guilty picking my son up from preschool and then heading to the gym but it's not only important that you have time for yourself but I think it's important that kids see their parents being healthy and active. My son knows I do yoga and pilates and he loves the child care at the Y so it works for both of us and he is exposed to a healthy and active lifestyle.

I think we feel guilty or bad about it because we sometimes let all those people in our heads who try to make us feel bad for working or whatever. I try to tune those voices out and make my own decisions about what's best for my family. I know people would criticize a lot of my husband & I's parenting practices but it's what works for us, our son is happy & well adjusted so really, who care?

Go to your classes! Don't feel guilty or let others try to make you feel guilty!! You deserve time for yourself! I don't have the motivation to work out at home either. I do better and have more motivation in group classes. I attend karate 2-3 times a week. When I am there I'm only thinking about what I'm doing in the class. I get a good workout and always leave happy. Doing something for yourself also makes you a better mom. If you are happy then you have more of yourself to give to your family.

don't give up your classes and don't feel guilty.....you are teaching your kids good life choices by trying to stay healthy....you are getting your sanity break so you don't go off on your kids for the little things like you might if you were stressed.....it makes you feel better and it is keeping you healthy so you can keep up with your kids....don't listen to the little voice, even when it isn't in your head, that says you are being selfish becuase you aren't

B., just because you are a mom doesn't mean that you aren't a woman too! Don't give up something that keeps you healthy and motivated! Think of it this way - you aren't only doing it for yourself, but for your kids too! This is what keeps you healthy so that you can run around and play with them, it keeps your mind a little healthier too!

Hi, B. - you're not going to like my answer. Your children are more important than your exercise. In the long run, when you're looking back over your life, you will not feel good about the amount of time you spent away from your kids. You're working full time - that's a lot of time away from your kids, even if they're already in school. They need you. Not just for quality time, but for quantity time, as well. I completely understand that the exercise keeps you feeling better, but your children are with you for such a short time. They need you in the evenings. Your absence tells them that they are not as important as you are. You could possibly find exercise-oriented activities that you could do WITH your kids, or the same time as your kids (you all take tennis lessons at the same time, for example). Two full-time working parents puts a great strain on a family. And that's just the way it is.

We dont and we shouldnt feel bad about taking care of ourselves. I used to feel the same way but think of it as if you dont take care of yourself you cant take care of your kids. Health is important, if you spend quality time with the kids 2 hrs away a week (besides work) is okay. I dont care what anyone says and I love my son with everything that I am, but we all need ME time or we'd go nuts and not be any good to ourselves, spouse or children.

Maybe since the weather is breaking, you can just go to the gym on Sat only and maybe go walking during the week and take the kids with you. But please dont feel guilty, Im sure ur a wonderful Mom!

hello!
i am the same way when it comes to exercising at home! so, we joined lifetime fitness! we absolutley love it! You can work out 24/7. They have personal trainers, aerobics classes, aquatics classes and they also have classes on weekends as well. They also have childcare right in the building. It would be worth checking into!

I wouldn't stop working out, it really is so important to get even a couple slivers of alone time, and feeling fit really does make you feel like you have rose colored glasses on (making every other experience in life that much more pleasant and/or bearable)!
But the guilt is a tough thing! I don't know a single mom who doesn't have it. My only advice would be to try to recognize if maybe you are worried about feeling a little bit of regret too. For me, I always feel an internal tug of war in taking "me" time because I have 8 and 10 year olds and a 2 year old...and I feel like life was such a blur when the two older ones were small (not quite a year and a half apart), that I have a hard time remembering a lot of things that I wish I could. And I can't tell you how much that breaks my heart. So now I try so hard to slOOOw down to take it all in. I don't want to have any regrets and I don't want my kids to feel like we were/I was always in a rush/hurry.
Either way...regret or guilt...it is so important as a parent to be able to find a way to recharge (for your kids as much as for yourself!). Since you and your husband work so hard and so much for your family, which makes your time as a family limited, maybe you could find a compromise for your workout routine. You said that you can leave early from work to fit in a workout before your husband leaves for work. Maybe you could try to do that just once during the week and then make the second time you go to the gym the "later in the evening" time. Then maybe you ALL could take a long walk together each weekend as a way to fit in a third workout each week...but as a family. And in the summer when it is lighter longer and the kids are up later, etc. maybe you could even sometimes fit in that third midweek workout at the gym since the summer allows us all to spend a little more time together naturally. One last idea, is it possible to find a closer gym?
Regardless, it is great that working out/staying fit makes you feel so good overall, and I wouldn't give it up if I were you. Making some small adjustments, however may make you enjoy it even more if those adjustments allow more time with your family. Because believe me, it goes by FAST!

Can you work out before work? I work at a gym and we are very busy at 5am. Classes start at 5:30 am. We have nice locker rooms and people get all fancy for work right there at the gym. I would not give it up. You're doing something wonderful for your body and it gives you more energy for caring for your kids!

Don't give up on it. All mom's need their alone time, trust me, I don't get much alone time, usually about two hours every three months and I go stir crazy. I would try to find a place that offers some kind of daycare for the kids while you're there or get them in their own classes; I just enrolled my son in a Tai-jitsu class in Ann Arbor and he has a blast (he's 4) Good luck!

B., you need to find a way to keep doing this, for you AND for your family. It is not selfish to carve a few hours out of the week to do something healthy that makes you feel good. If you are unhealthy and feel crappy, you can not be a good mother or a good wife. You are also setting an example for your family that exercise is a way of life. That being said, is there some place you could go that is closer to home? 30 minutes each way sounds like a huge sacrifice and there are decent gyms and fitness centers all over the place. Keep it up, but keep it closer to home!

Hi B.---Do NOT give up your classes. Exercise is ESSENTIAL. You have to be in a good place, mentally and physically, so that you are a better mom for your kids. Think of it like the airline emergency instructions. You must put on your oxygen mask first, before the kids, because if you pass out, you're good for no one.

I also agree that you are setting an example for your kids. You may want to do a few more things at home WITH your kids like running games, walking or riding bikes to get them involved and started down a good path, knowing that regular exercise is just something we do.

I am taking wellness classes, and I've learned that exercise helps us, not only physically, but mentally. Exercise is better than drugs for depression. Scans of older people show larger brains when those people exercise regularly. The brain actually shrinks w/out exercise. Of course, strength training helps to keep muscle mass, which we lose as we age. Muscle burns more calories, so we can minimize weight gain that occurs w/aging. Muscle and core strength keep our bones strong and help with balance so we are less likely to break hips. Running and 'pounding' activities 'push' blood and nutrients into the joints, keeping those healthy as we age.

And don't forget to fuel your body for protection. Exercise is essential, but we also produce more free radicals when we do. So your 10+ servings of fruit and veggies are essential as well. I've got lots of great info and tips on how to incorporate more fruit and veg into every meal, so if you'd like, please let me know and I can share those with you. But be sure you don't rely on isolated vitamins to fill in the gaps. They don't work like food does. I have lots of great research to support that, and some suggestions on what you CAN do to fill in gaps. I look forward to talking to you soon. D.

I don't know the specifics of your situation, but judging by your post... it's okay to have time to do things for yourself. There are so many worse and destructive ways you could be spending your time. And it's true, we are naturally giving as parents but also I feel that it is necessary to draw the line somewhere so as not to get lost in our role.

I can see how your mother might feel that way but our roles as parents are changing. Experts now say it is important to have the time to do things we enjoy if it is beneficial to our health because it teaches our children to do the same. I hope you are able to continue and instill a lifelong habit of good physical and emotional health for you and your family.

Just want to echo what the other moms have already said. Go for it!! Don't give up this precious time of the week where you're doing something for YOU! Do not feel guilty!! We moms pile so much unhealthy guilt on ourselves. Like the other moms said you're showing your kids that exercise and being healthy is important. God bless!!

Go in the morning or during your lunch hour, and find a gym closer to home. The guilt won't go away no matter how many people tell you it's ok.

Don't feel guilty about wanting to make yourself feel good! Yes you work and that cuts into time with the kids but you shouldn't stop going to the gym just because someone makes you feel guilty.

If you positively can not work out at home then perhaps you can find a gym that provides daycare. I am the opposite and don't like working out anywhere but at home...even that's a challenge =)

I am not sure who has a childcare but I know they are out there. You will probably get some suggestions from your post.

Bottom line is...mom needs "me" time too. It's not like you are going out every night drinking and doing drugs. You work hard for your family and you deserve this.

If you still feel guilty maybe you can do just the Saturday class and work out at home during the week? There are plenty of online forums to help keep you motivated and you can work out in the mornings before getting ready for work. Or at night when the kids are in bed.

Just don't feel guilty!!!!

You are absolutely not being selfish. Look at it this way: how can you be considered selfish when you are keeping yourself balanced and healthy, both of which benefit your children and everyone else around you? Exercise is so important for physical and mental health. A few hours a week is not going to scar your children. It should make them appreciate you more, and it will make you happier when you are spending time with them. DO NOT give in on this. Everyone needs "me" time. I go for 2 hours twice a week and have never once felt a sliver of guilt for it. Stay strong and good luck!