Hello Mama's-
I am here posting and asking for help on behalf of a friend. I guess I'm looking for real life experiences, tips, techniques, and advice that you have used and found effective since this matter is time sensitive, rather than judgemental comments.
The best course of action would be for her to contact an attorney, ask these questions and then have him execute actions on her behalf, she does not have the resources to do that (money) so we have to find a way to make this work.
My best friends is a mother of three. For the last 7 years she and her boyfriend have been living together and raising their children. Recently, their relationship turned rocky and he kicked her out of their home and she moved in with her two sisters. For the last few weeks my friend was coming from her home with her sisters to where her boyfriend lived with their children and instead of sending them to daycare she was acting as their full time care giver (she works nights and is home during the day). Things were fine until she had a medical emergency (passed out due to low potassium) and was unable to come over and take care of the children. He took her car (it was in his name) and is refusing to answer her phone calls. She has not been allowed contact with her children since Friday.
There is no formal custody or visitation agreement in place, up until a few weeks ago they were living together as a couple and it wasn't necessary. There is a child support custody in place for their oldest child but not for the younger two. They were living together and she didn't feel there was a need to put anything on paper at the time. Both of their names are on the lease to their apartment so, technically, she can enter the premesis, but she does not feel confident that either of them could control their tempers. She has called the police and they told her that all they could do is go by the house for a welfare check to confirm that they are safe but that would put them on Child Protective Services radar and advised her to go to the courts and file for custody.
Here are my questions:
If she goes to court to file, where does she go? I am a smart, professional woman and I am researching the heck out of this and I can't find anything that directs her where to go. What department? What address? What room number? She is in Broward County Florida?
Has anyone ever worked with an attorney on a pro bono basis and can you recommend someone? We have tried researching but not coming up with much luck, so outside of calling each attorney in the county we are at a loss.
Hi all-
I have passed all this info on to her and hope she'll take advantage of it.
I am also stepping out of the equation because while what he is doing is horrible she is no angel and lets her mouth and attitude get the best of her to make interactions with him a bit complicated. Since I can't fix this (it's not my life or decisions to make) I have educated her as best a friend can and am leaving the rest up to her. At this point she has all the information but I don't think she has taken any action and that ticks me off to no end......shit or get off the pot. Complain while you're doing something to make the situation better or stop complaining.
Also, Ronda, I responded directly to you but want to post it here so you can't accuse me of being mean or harassing you:
You answer was really rude. Yes, she stayed in a relationship for 7 years and had kids with him and they were not legally married. A piece of paper does not make a relationship. If they were married, their relationship would have followed the same course it took with them not being married. They made commitments to each other and built a life and unfortunately it didn't work, but you're comment was judgmental and rude. Glass house and stones don't go well together. I wish you the best.
She should be able to schedule an appt w/a lawyer for a free 30 mins
appt.
Tell her to have her questions well thought out & written down so she can
get answers to the important ones.
First thing she should do is go pick up her kids! If she just leaves them there (abandons them with their Farher), willingly just leaves them with their father, when they do go to court she runs the risk of loosing primary custody & she will be the one ordered to pay child support and she will be the one who only gets visitation!
The other posters are correct, most lawyers give free consultations and can point her in the right direction!
Your friend needs to go get the children now. She doesn't need to file for custody because there's no custody agreement right now. Just go get them. If she thinks there will be a problem call the police and have them meet her there.
Ronda X that's a little rude on your part. There are a lot of people who have children together and never marry at all. Just because it isn't something you would do doesn't mean it's wrong. Next time you see something and want to throw in your 2 cents remember mama's old saying " Be helpful or be quiet"
Cheryl B is right, she would go to her local county court house. They have the court paperwork that she would need. She needs to get the one that issues Custody, Child Support and Parenting Time (visitation). She CAN do this herself. The packet of paperwork costs about $12, maybe another $60 or so to file. It tells you step by step how to do it. I did this with my divorce and didn't pay an attorney at all. I have sole custody and the kids full time. My ex gets them every other weekend and every other holiday.
She MUST get possession of her kids or it will "appear" to the court that she can't care for them. I would also advise that ALL future communication with the bf is through EMAIL only so everything is documented. With emails on our phones, it is easy to do since some texts and phone calls can't be verified in court. Then you run into he said/she said.
So start with getting the kids and go to the court house and check out the paperwork. She can do this on her own. The sooner the better. Good luck!
Free and Low Cost Legal Help of California. This is what your friend needs: http://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-lowcosthelp.htm
I'm aware of this resource because of my job, and Connecticut's version is Statewide Legal Services of Connecticut: http://www.slsct.org/
She would go to Broward County Superior Court located at 201 S.E. 6th Street, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301
I do not know of any Family Law attorneys who do pro bono work but she could call the bar association for Broward County and ask them - they will know.
If she can't find an attorney, she should look at the court's website - just google broward county superior court, to see if they have a Family Law Advisor. That person can help her figure out what forms she needs to file. She can probably get a fee waiver so she doesn't have to pay the filing fees.
