Embarrasing Question

Updated on July 09, 2008
D.D. asks from Suitland, MD
35 answers

Hello Moms out there,

I have an embarrasing question. I've been experiencing discharge for the past 7 years. I was a virgin when I first met my husband (10 years ago), and can recall the onset of this once I got pregnant with my first child who is now 6 years old. It's confusing because I have to wear a pantliner every single day to prevent wet panties. Also, I go to the doctor at the drop of a hat. The doctor has tested me for every STD, and I am in the clear, which make the discharge even more confusing. Can anyone out there relate or give me advice? I always see people in underwear ads with no pantliners and wonder why I've been cursed with this problem. Can anyone give me advice on how to get rid of it?

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So What Happened?

Thank you to all the wonderful moms out there for your assurance that I am normal. I thought that I was the only person experiencing this change. I appreciate all of your wonderful guidance & suggestion. I will absolutely ask my doctor to check my PH levels as well as for baterial infection. I've also ordered the "Taking Charge of your Fertility" book from Amazon and look forward to further educating myself on this topic. I am grateful to have this site as a wonderful resource!

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J.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Clearly from the responses you are not alone! I also have this issue and noticed when I was on the Pill it was much worse, so much that I called the MD who found all was normal.

It is my belief that it is hormonal, which makes sense. I just deal w/this interesting part of womanhood.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Having kids sometimes gives us more than we bargained for. Things "change" inside for some reason after you have a kid. I'm in the same boat as you, my midwife and doctor both said that this is normal.

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L.M.

answers from Washington DC on

DH,
Since you have already been to a Dr. and they haven't given you any guidance, I'd suggest visiting a midwife. They also do gyn visits. This is an issue that is bothering you, and you deserve some assistance.
I'm happy to give you some referrals. Feel free to contact me if you desire.
L.

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E.D.

answers from Richmond on

DH,
I've also had this symptom for all of my life. It ranges from a clear to a milky white, but has never amounted to anything. I don't have yeast infections or STDs of anything. It's just a part of normal everyday life. I wear a pantyliner every day. Like the others who have responded, I also suggest talking with your GYN about it. Remember that our bodies change after giving birth (my shoe size is even different, lol). The women you see on the ads are either wearing a tampon, or they don't have the issue of having to wear a pantyliner all the time. My discharge also smells a little, but my doctor has said as long as it doesn't smell fishy I'm fine. Hope this helps.

God bless,
Liz

1 mom found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from Norfolk on

You are perfectly normal:) I've dealt w/ this problem since puberty...my mom used to wash my underwear and say, you have an infection, you need to go to the doctor. I would go...nothing wrong. Then after children it really kicked it OMG! If I jump rope or get on my children's trampoline I have to go change clothes....even w/ my daily liner that I wear.
It's just one of those things. I also believe it has something to do with your body chemistry and the muscles that weaken. It's something we have to deal with...but....on the flip side, when we hit menopause, maybe it will counteract all that dryness that women complain about;)
Blessings,
L.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi DH--

Is there a faint (and at times strong) odor to your discharge? If so, this is probably a simple case of bacterial vaginosis. It is NOT an STD, although it may be a PH imbalance triggered by intercourse with your husband.

A very large percentage of women walk around with this, and you are not alone! I am very surprised that your gynecologist hasn't tested you for this with labwork called a "wet mount", but you should ask for this. A course of antibiotics called Flagyl normally cures this infection.

It is recurring in many women, but search online with keywords "bacterial vaginosis" and see if these symptoms ring true for you. I hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi DH
My doctor said that this is could be caused by several things. First to check for an infection. Monostat has a kit that you can buy OTC if you don't want to go to the dr. Second, some women have weak muscles, can be related to pregnancy/delivery and so there is leakage. I think she said that there were some exercises that could be done. (Hubby liked the sound of that.) Thirdly could be your clothes. She suggested not wearing underwear to bed so that everything could breathe. (hubby LOVED that one.) Lastly, I've even heard someone say that its becuase your not getting enough sex - which is what probably caused the problem to begin with! Besides when your a tired parent who has the time?!
Just some thoughts.
M.

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

DH:

Hello! I know questions like these can be embarrasing, but you are not alone.

If you were a virgin when you were married, I don't understand why your doctor has tested you for every STD under the sun. Do you suspect your husband of something?

Is this an OB/GYN or a Family Doctor? Sounds to me like your Dr is bilking your medical insurance.

Here's what I know:

1. EVERY W. has a discharge, whether it be light or heavy. EVERY W. is different. If the discharge does not smell like fish or nasty - it's your body's way of cleaning itself.

2. If the discharge is creamy, you MAY have a bacterial infection - however, it may just be your normal discharge if it doesn't smell bad.

3. This discharge is a NATURAL lubricant - I would suspect sex is easy for you and not painful or uncomfortable - some women "dry out" easily and it makes sex uncomfortable.

Next time you go to the dr. write up a list of your concerns, especially when you go to your OB/GYN. This way you can address all of your concerns and not go to the Dr at the drop of a hat, especially with 3 kids! :)

Bottom line - if your discharge does NOT have blood streaks in it, smells bad or look like cottage cheese, this is just you and how your body works. Enjoy it! :) Don't look at the negatives of it - enjoy the fact that your body works in such a way that you can be ready when your husband is! YAHOO!

Take care and God Bless.

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B.B.

answers from Washington DC on

D H, I do understand were your coming from I've had the same thing going on with me. It also started after my 1st baby who just turned six. I can go a mth and not have any thing or I can go a mth were it feels like have I have stuff just running out of me. I know how embarrasing it is, I talk to my Doc every year when I go for my yearly, I've also been tested for STDs and thats fine, they have treated me for yeast infec, that doesn't work. I'm like you my husband is the only one I've been with, but before us he did have relations when the doc wanted to test me for STDs I about fliped my lid. I go back for my yearly in Sept and again I'll tak to them again. I'm glad I 'm not the only one going through this good luck.

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N.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I have it every single day of my life!!! It has ranged from clear to slightly whitish and sometime gets heavier around around my time of the month. If it smells or looks really weird, or you feel itchy, a yeast infection could be the culprit. Maybe your GYN would be able to suggest some things, but for me its normal everyday occurence. I felt the same way and asked my doc and she said it was pretty normal. I use wipes to freshen myself from a company called Sweet Spot, but I personally don't believe in using douches and things like that. You are not alone!!

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A.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi!

I am totally with you on this one! I, too, thought I was the only person on this big earth that HAD to wear a panty liner everyday. My discharge problem started after the birth of my first child - she just turned five last month - and I have wore a panty liner everyday for the last five years. It does have its days when it is not as bad but I clearly still wear a pantyliner (I can't stand the feel of wet panties either!) I now have four little ones and still have the same issue. I talked to my OB about it at my last exam and she just said it was completely normal (as long as there isn't a foul odor or color) and that some woman just are more "dischargey" than others; especially after childbirth.

I think back years before kids and I never wore a liner between periods. I was just like the girls on those undie commercials.... but now NOPE... I'm a pantyliner girl. Thank goodness the are "barely there" thin now!

A.

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R.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Really a doctor should be answering your question.

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you discussed with your GYN? I believe the vagina has a natural discharge, as a lubricant and cleanser. However, if it's heavy enough that you must wear a pantyliner, I understand your concern. Is there any itching? Or just a normal discharge. If it's clear and there are no other symptoms, like odor, pain or severe itching, then it's just probably a normal discharge. Here's a link that might help:
http://womenshealth.about.com/od/vaginaldischarg1/a/vagin...

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E.T.

answers from Washington DC on

Great question. I wish my mother explained more to me about the different types of vaginal secretions that I would have: egg-like, sticky/tacky, etc... and what they meant. I found it somewhat confusing when I was younger.

I would highly recommend 2 books: The Garden of Fertility or Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Excellent resources on women's health - particularly the latter. It goes into great depths on charting your fertility, uncovering allergies, getting pregnant, avoiding pregnancy, etc... all from the various vaginal secretions.

If you do start charting, I found black underwear very helpful.

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Z.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi! I use Natural Family Family instead of other types of birth control and one thing I learned is that there is a discharge when a woman ovulates. So you may have noticed that sometimes the discharge is heavier and that is probably when you are most fertile or ovulating. I sometimes wish I had more discharge during the rest of the month. After my second child I suffered from severe dryness. I bled every time we had sex. My husband felt terrible. My doctor told me my vaginal walls looked like a post menopausal woman. I was 31 at the time and was not going through menopause. After suffering like this for 4 years, I finally tried a progesterone cream, all natural, from the health food store. It balanced my hormones out. I don't know if your hormones are out of balance but it can't hurt to read the book What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause or What Your....Menopause by John R. Lee and Virginia Hopkins. Both books gave me a lot of information regarding the changes my body was going through in preparation for menopause and some natural ways to deal with it. You may need to have your husband checked, too. There may be a yeast issue that keeps getting passed to you from him. Eat plenty of yogurt which will help balance that flora. Don't worry though. As you can see from all the responses, you are not alone.

And when I look at those models and my own body, I tell myself that they have horrible periods or really bad breath or something that makes them less attractive, too. Then I put the magazines away and I don't look at them for months at a time!!!

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

This is totally normal. I would also recommend TCOYF to learn more about your body. Good luck.

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J.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I applaud you for having the courage to put yourself out on limb and bring this discussion to the table.

I too suffer from this and was too embarrassed to ever ask anyone!!!

I'm one of those people that doesn't like to go to the doctor unless it's a "real" situation, so I haven't spoken to my doctor about this and do not really have any advice to offer.

However, I thank you for opening up this discussion because I've learned a lot based on the responses you received.

Thanks again to you and all the other moms out there. It's good to know that it's normal NOT to be "normal"....LOL

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V.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I've only experienced the pronounced change during ovulation since having kids. It's great since I'm trying to practice natural family planning! If you have an IUD, that could cause the excess discharge. Intercourse using condoms, using any spermicidal products, and douching can also irritate and increase discharge. You should avoid scented detergents, wipes, and products of any kind, including your pantiliners. I'm a huge fan of "breathable" liners made by 7th Generation. No plastic backing and no bleach used in production is much healthier, especially if you use them on a daily basis. I used to work for an OB/GYN and we had several women complain of discomfort, itching or discharge with no verifyable infection. In some cases, the wet mount showed a low number of lactobacillus - friendly bacteria. The doctor recommended douching with a high-quality yogurt. A local health foods store may also carry lactobacillus/probiotic suppositories to help balance the flora. It's worth a try/won't hurt you.

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T.B.

answers from Norfolk on

This is just a thought but has your doctor checked you for other vaginal infections? I had noticed a lot of discharge and when I asked my doctor about it at my annual exam they looked at a slide and I had a bacterial infection. They gave me an antibiotic and a pamphlet that explained that these infections could be caused by the type of soap I use or even the laundry detergent.

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L.A.

answers from Charlottesville on

I don't know what the discharge would be caused by however you might try one of the intimate spray deoderants that say they are to help prevent dampness. I am not sure if it will work or not but it might be worth a try.

Best Wishes!

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N.B.

answers from Washington DC on

You may want to try douching occasionally with a VERY mild solution of water & vinegar. There may be just a slight sensitivity going on & this could help restore your acidic balance. Good luck!

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K.C.

answers from Washington DC on

You are absolutely not the only one!!!! I have the same thing which I can definitely say has gotten worse after each pregnancy. That happened to a friend of mine who went to the doctor and they told her it was normal for women to experience this after having kids. Not so helpful.

I wish I had advice for you = (

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A.J.

answers from Washington DC on

Since you case sounds like it's more constant, it's probably not the same thing that I experience. After the birth of my first child, I noticed my cervical mucous around the time of ovulation was way, way more than it had been before. Think of the runny stringy snot that might dangle from a 2 year olds nose. That's what I'd see when I wiped. Kinda gross and required a panty liner at times.

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T.H.

answers from Norfolk on

some woman just have alot of discharge. i was the same until i was treated for a yeast infection. i never thought i had one because i never itched but after that the discharge has gone away. have you been tested for that?

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Excellent question - and I applaud your courage for asking!I have light discharge, but usually more of the stickier kind than wet. I've always thought it was a normal thing, but maybe I should mention it to my ob/gyn just in case. I do find though that it increases sometimes depending on what kind of soap I use. Usually the more fragrant products are the culprit, though I like using them so much to smell nice. Like one of the responders though, I too am embarrassed prior to sex, and worry how clean I am down there - sometimes washing up quickly if I know beforehand. But unlike some of the responders, I have not had a child yet, so this isn't necessarily a result of pregnancy. So my advice to you would be to try a milder soap to wash your sensitive areas, and possibly non-fragrant dryer sheets or laundry detergent.
Best of luck - and thank you for your post!

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L.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I agree with the other people who have recommended "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". Chances are you are seeing normal, natural, cervical fluid, not an infection of any sort. Good luck!

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N.L.

answers from Washington DC on

I have been going through the same thing for the past 10 yrs and now that I have my first child its even worse. I can't stand the pantiliner thing because it can cause odor build up. And I feel like I have to wash up in the restroom before having intercourse. Sometimes I even jump into the shower beforehand in the evening. I feel like it makes me paranoid. I spoke with my doctor and there is a procedure but they don't recommend it until you are done having kids. So once I am done I am going in to get it. Sometimes it is so heavy I use a tampon when its not even my time of the month especially when I am going out to dinner or something. I get sick and tired of the pantiliner! I know exactly what you are going through.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

some women just have more of a discharge than others. the underwear ads are really not an indicator, those aren't 'real' people. they don't put fat women in swimsuit ads either, but we exist.
if there are no medical problems, no itching or odor, and you've eliminated all scented products (toilet paper, sprays and douches, laundry soap etc), then i'd say simply realize that this is YOU and it's fine. using panty liners isn't a huge inconvenience. some women are at the other end of the spectrum and need to keep personal lubricant with 'em at all times.
vive la difference!
:) khairete
S.

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

My gyn has just said that some women have more discharge than others. I know I go through times when I have "excessive" discharge. If the discharge itself is mostly clear then you should be fine. What you really wanna look out for is bad odor or a not-clearish discharge- that is when there is a problem. On those days of mine, I go through MAYBE two pantiliners, if not just one. Is that what you are talking about here? I wouldn't know what to say if it was a lot more than that.

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A.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi,
You don't mention any discomfort. Do you have any? Yeast is very common,and that usualy comes with itching, burning.

I did experiemce a similar situation for many years. No one could give me any answer as to the cause, and I used antibiotics and creams on and off.

Finally I discovered an Acupuncture book-Between Heaven and Earth-that listed conditions that could be treated. I found a practitioner nearby through a friend. That was in 1995 and I have been going for treatment ever since. The terrible discomfort ended rather quickly, though I still tended to have a little discharge. I kept reading and decided to attend Acupuncture School, and let other women know what I had learned.

I have no physical symptoms that need to be treated. Acupuncture helps with relaxation and calming and just helping you feel better. If you would like some names in our area-Howard County/DC area let me know.

Good luck!
A.

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L.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm confused about the discharge, urine or other? If urine...try kegel exercises

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M.B.

answers from Norfolk on

You could have a hormonal problem which could be causing the discharge. The good bateria are not living and the bad bacteria are taking over. There is a treatment which takes about 7days and is somewhat like the old fashion yeast infection cures. The medicine starts with "me..." anyway ask the DR about that. Also inquire to see if you have a urinary tract infection. Sometimes those mask the issue. Lastly, wearing a pantiliner is probably making the whole situation worse. I know you may feel that it is doing better, but it isn't. The moisture gets stuck with the liners and creates more of a problem. And if you didn't know some of those pantiliner companies that use dryweave..those are the worse. Do ask your DR about all this. and I am sorry you have had to live with this situation for so long.

I am a mom of 3 (10yr,3yr and 14mns).

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W.T.

answers from Norfolk on

A discharge in women is normal, especially when you've had children. If the discharge has an odor you might want to check with your doctor and see if there isn't any bad bacteria present. There is a natural flora in the vaginal canal and if it is disrupted you can experience more of a discharge or odor. Also, douching disrupts this natural flora so it is good to do so rarely and even better not at all.
Hope this helps.

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L.F.

answers from Washington DC on

this is most likely natural. Vaginal dryness or wetness varies from woman to woman. I suggest you take a local Natural Family Planning class to learn about your mucus and what it means.
www.ccli.org

glad to hear everyone was able to help you!

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S.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I also had this when I was younger. Have you been using condoms? I ask because soon after I met my husband I got on the pill and didn't have much discharge at all anymore which is why I think it was the condoms. Also women when they are pregnant do tend to have heavier discharge, I know I had to wear pantyliners the first couple months of both of my pregnancies. And through out your menstrual cycle your cervical mucous changes too. Have you noticed that it's worse during certain times of the month, like around ovulation. Try keeping a journal of times when it's heavier, it probably is just normal for you.

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