Ear Top Piercings

I had the top of my ear pierced probably 10 years ago and will never forget the horrible pain it caused for months of my life. I never really thought that was the reason for the pain, until I took out the earring for a night. It was a throbbing, headache like pain. Just tell her that once she's old enough to deal with the pain, maybe she can get one.

Your question took me back quite a few years when I was 15 years old and asked my Dad for money so I could pierce my ears. He asked me why I wanted to do that and I said everyone else did and it was "cool". He then asked me "if everyone else cut off their finger because it was cool, would you?" Well, needless to say I didn't pierce my ears that year or ever. Although that's not the norm these days I still think of it and how it lead me down a path of distinquishing myself by not being like the crowd. Thank you Dad. If I had a 13 year old daughter I don't think I would let her pierce that part of her ear either. There is nothing wrong with saying no to requests like these. As parents we all have our individual ideas of what is acceptable and what we feel crosses the line and it is not the same with every parent. You should stick with your no but maybe give her some "character building" reasons for your decision.

Good luck,
S.

Yes, piercings will close if you leave the earrings out. My second holes closed actually unintentionally. I ended up having to have them redone. I have two holes in each lobe and one on the top of my left ear. The double in the lobes in my opinion looks quite nice. I wear small diamonds in the upper hole in the lobe, and usually a small hoop or pearls in the lower. The one in the top of my ear I typically wear a small diamond. I will say, my mom didn't allow it, and it wasn't until I went to college and moved out that I had it done (no, I wasn't rebelling, it was just something I had wanted for a while). I am now 32 and still have it and still like it, so you may say that I'm a bit bias.

My honest opinion, it's your house, she's 13, and you make the rules. That's how I was raised. If you disapprove, then that's the bottom line. However, since (IMO) it's not a huge issue, and if you have any thought of possibly allowing it, then maybe it's something she has to earn with grades, etc, or maybe a sweet 16 gift. I agree that tons of piercings are gaudy, but I think a couple look nice... GL!

Ultimately, I think that you have to do what you (and your husband) feel is best for your child. Piercings aren't for everyone, but eventually they will close up if you don't wear earings. I have three piercings in each ear - I got my first at age 10, my second at 13 and my third at 23. I don't know if I would let my daughter do the same at 10 and 13 so, thankfully, she's only 6 years old and has never asked to have her ears pierced - yet!

Good luck!

I just wanted to say that you have every right to stand your ground on things like this. If you think you're daughter is too young then she's too young. I am much more lenient with piercings, but not everyone is and I understand that. You are the parent and you make the decisions. As far as the whole's closing up...they do close up easier on the cartiladge than they do lower on the ear, but there is no guarantee if she keeps it in for years.

Mom and Dad know best! Stick with your decision. Personally I think she is too young. I always tell my kids when they live in there own and pay their own bills they will be able to make their own choices, but for now they have to follow parent's rules :)

Hello, I was 15 when i got my top of my ear pierced. (it was the cool thing) When they did it they shattered the cartilage. I still kept it for a couple years but in the back it was a big bump. So i ended up taking it out. About the closing up issue everyone is different. If i take my earing out for a couple days my holes will start to close up. So i have to leave earings in all the time. Hope this helps

Hi
I had my top of my ears pierced (the cartlidge-it's called cartilidge piercing) the whole does close up somewhat. I can still feel where it was pierced but there is no visable hole.
I say let her do it (make her earn it like someone suggested), because if you let her do it at least you have control of what place does the piercing for her. I think she's at the age where she will find a way to get what she wants-which means she could try to pierce it herself ( i am just being honest). I say it's a very harmless ear piercing that was popular when I was her age and is still popular. It could be worse she could be wanting a belly button piercing of facial piercing.

Yes you can always get rid of a piercing once your sick of it. Even though your ears have been pierced 25 years you could have your hole closed by having your doctor put a stich in each whole and over time they will close.

Hi,
I am mom to 4, 3 of whom are in their 20's and the youngest is 15 1/2. I agree w/you~ 13 is a bit too young for that; I feel that if you give permission to do this now, she will be begging for something else to be pierced 6 mos. from now. My older(21yr) daughter wanted to pierce her navel(at 16)but her father (my ex) and I both agreed that she would need to wait 'till 18 yrs. for that. My 15 1/2 yr. old wanted her cartilage (top of ear) pierced (at 12!) too. I told her it would really hurt and that she must wait till she was at least 14 1/2. Well, she got it done(at 14 1/2), and lo and behold it hurt her a lot! She had so much pain, she stopped wearing the earring in that spot, and it closed up completely. I think that piercings can close depending on your skin type and length of time you keep it pierced with earrings. I too have ear piercings since I was a kid and I can leave earrings out for a year or more and they don't close. I am glad for that though. The holes were made well, are not too low on the lobe, and I have an easy time putting in earrings. I tell my daughter that as she gets older, shows responsibility and an ability to make wise choices elsewhere~ she will get more privileges(such as multiple ear piercings). I think certain "looks" are not appropriate for younger girls (and other "looks" not appropriate at all!)and some are o.k. when you are in High School. My daughter is always looking for ways to look cool, not unlike most kids, and now she's asked for a teeny tiny nose piercing and a navel piercing. Both requests were met with a no response. I told her both of those would need to wait 'till she was 18 or older. I don't like either of these, but what she does as an adult will be up to her ultimately. I have counseled her on the importance of making sure that when the time does come, she needs to go to a clean, reputable piercing "salon" because of the risks of hepatitis and other infection.

Good luck~ it's a hard job that only get's harder and we can all benefit from helping one another through these times.

~Deb

My mom let me get a piercing in the top of my earlobe when I was 13.

It hurt really bad and it got infected but it was the "cool" thing at that time and I loved it! I kept it in all through high school but eventually got rid of it.

I can still feel where it was pierced but there isn't a visable hole.

Since it is only cosmetic (not like a tattoo, or anything!) I would probably let my 13 year old have it done. I am a pretty liberal person and I believe that children should be able to express themselves through their looks...as long as it's not offensive.

The main thing is that you and your husband agree on your decision. If my husband said "no" I would definitely respect his opinion.

i took all my daughter to get there done when they turned 13 for her birthday it was a big thing for her and it her alot she loved it alot and i was a cool mom for doing it she still has it it only the ear it not the face or the belly or some place worse and can be taken out at anytime but that just one mom point a view so far three of my five girl have got it done it a right of age they call it lol good luck on the battle

I know that it is hard for her to accept but if you said no than stick with it. If you change your mind now she will always argue about eveything.

Piercings will close if the earring is left out. I grew up in the 80's when more then one piercing became the rage and had 3 in each ear...I now only have 1 in each the other 2 are totally closed up.
I personally don't see a problem with the top of the ear, at least it's not her cheek, lip or even her nipple! She is only 13 though so if you decide she can't do it then that's that. She's got to learn to live by the rules and that we don't get what we want when we want it. I agree that maybe she could earn it or even get it later as a gift. Good luck!

I actually have three holes in my lobes (had to wait until 18 for third holes) and 2 in my upper left cartilage (again, had to be 18). The cartilage ones take longer to heal after being pierced and can close very quickly if the earring is left out for too long, especially during the first year (I had to take mine out for a CT scan and actually had to pop the back hole of one back out because it had already closed up!). Now I only wear small earrings in the cartilage ones and in the first holes on my lobes, but none of my other holes have closed yet and it's been about 7 years since I wore earrings in those holes more than once or twice a year.

Personally, at 13, I'd rather have a second hole in the lobes than 1 hole in the cartilage. Cartilage piercing is much, much more painful. Cartilage does not grow back and when it is pierced it really just gets pushed out of the way, leaving a bump afterwards. I could not sleep on my left side for 3 months after having this done. I don't think I would have been ready for that at 13. I think you'll have to base your decision on how responsible you think your daughter is though. Good luck!

13? No way!
:-)
But then again I didn't get my ears pierced (one hole in the lobe per ear) until I was 19. I always tell my daughter that when she can pay for it, can take care of it herself, buy her own earrings and can drive herself to get it done without a parents signature... Then we'll talk about it.
Stick to your guns and keep raising a child that doesn't have to conform to what "everyone else is doing"...

Personally, I don't think it's a big deal, but that's just me. If you do allow it, make sure you go to a tattoo/body piercing salon and NOT to a place that uses a gun. You want the beveled needle that the piercer will use to slide through the cartiledge, the gun just pushes a blunt earring through it and it is much harder to heal properly. If done correctly, it will be healthy and won't heal with a bulge around it.

~L.