DS Asked If I'm the One Who Moves the Elf on the Shelf

If he's asking the question then he wants to know.
Tell him and let him know it's something fun for both you and him and you enjoy doing it.

Well, he certainly sounds too smart to believe that the elf is real. "You are creatively evading the question!"

Make the elf fall off of something on Christmas Eve and then shove him in a toy ambulance under the tree to end the story like a good movie.

I feel kind of sick!! As in a sicko!

he may not want to know, and is probably hoping against hope that the elf really does come to life at night, but he's asked you directly and bound you to honesty.
so give it to him. it can be a little elliptical, but please don't shake the foundation of his trust that mom will give him the lowdown when the rubber meets the road.
'this season is full of all kinds of magic. some of the magic is helped along by moms and dads. so yeah, honey, i DO help the elf to get around. but i'm pretty sure i only put him where he really wants to go!' wink and hug.
i think you rock for having a 9 year old who will phrase his question so eloquently.
ETA PLEASE don't bully him into a facade of 'belief' or all the magic stops. i hate it when parents tell their kids that if they don't believe in santa (or whatever) they don't get presents, or have any fun.
:) khairete
S.

He knows the truth already so just tell him. Then explain that Elf on the shelf is a fun magical thing parents do for their children. If he's your only child then you might want to let him do the Elf tricks until Christmas. Or if you have younger children then let your 9 yr old be your Christmas helper by doing the elf for his younger siblings.

8, 9 and 10, is the age that most children figure things out.

You need to decide if you are going to congratulate him and now include him in the shenanigans or if you are going to try to continue the magic.

Personally, I think the jig is up. I would include him in the fun.
My mom told me that if we believe, Santa will still come, but I was welcome to become a Santa also. I loved being "in" on the magic for my younger sister and other people.

Ask him if he enjoys the Elf. Tell him that if he wants the Elf to continue then he is not to ask.

I'd ask him a few gentle questions: How will you feel if you're told it's not real? How will you feel if you're told it is real? What do you think?

But I wouldn't belabor it - he sounds pretty clear on it. So I'd tell him the truth, and let him know that these traditions and talking about the magic and fun of the season is a good thing. Tell him kids believe as long as they need to and want to, and when they are done, they can still enjoy the memories.

Then also tell him how much fun you've had with this game, watching him marvel at it, and you hope he always has good memories of it. Tell him it's bittersweet for you that he is growing up - you're proud but you also kind of wish you could keep him little for a while longer.

Then tell him, if he's old enough to figure it out, he's old enough to keep the secret from other kids who are younger or who are his age but still need to believe. It's not up to him to break the magic for someone else.

If you have younger kids, then let your 9 year old start to help with finding the new places to hide the elf. Get him to be your partner in adulthood.

Tell him the truth. Tell him that the elf is part of the magic of Christmas and that moms and dads help to keep that magic alive for all the kids. Do NOT bribe him into "believing" by telling him that the presents will stop. That's just cruel. You can then ask him if he would like to continue with the elf if he's your only; make it a game to see how super-creative you can be....or even take turns hiding him! If you have younger children, tell him that now that he knows he can help to keep that special magic going for his younger siblings. That he's in on a grown-up secret will likely appeal to him. Good luck

When my kids were smaller and would ask such things(Santa, Elf, Tooth fairy) we took the same approach as Canuck and just asked if they liked the tradition and wanted it to continue. If they did, then they didn't get to question the "magic". Now the youngest is about to turn 12 and the oldest about to be 16 and our elf hasn't shown up this year(stuck in a closet that my husband has projects stacked in front of) and all 4 of my big kids have asked everyday when the elf is going to show up!

Tell the truth, but after you do, enlist him to help. :-)

Never lie to your kids, just tell him the truth, yup, you move it.

My oldest is 9 and when he asks I'm going to tell the truth. I know he'll be a little disappointed, but he'll have fun keeping the secret from his brothers.

My daughter knows the "truth", she's 8, but I've told her that it's nice to believe anyway. That it doesn't hurt anyone to still believe and pretend that "magic" is real. Even as a grown-up, I still like to "play pretend" with her and her brother. That believing in something most people think is "made up" makes me feel good, it helps me deal with the hard sad things in life. She also have a much younger brother( only 2y.o.) and she knows it'll fun watching him believe and be excited.

Tell him the truth. He's probably the only one in his class that still thinks Santa and the magic is real. He's trying to pin you down and he trusts you. It's time. But I do agree with Canuck, put it to him that way.

Ask him what he wants to do.

He's 9. He knows. I'm not one for telling kids to pretend they don't know the truth if they want to keep enjoying something. To me, that's like saying "lie if you want to keep getting x".

If you both enjoy it, then do it together. Actually, check out this blog - the mom is creating scenes from her daughters' favorite books/movies, etc. It's hilarious.
https://adiaryofamom.wordpress.com/2014/12/05/scouter-rai...

My9 and 10 year old are questioning Santa this year but seem enamored with the elf. My son saw the 'instructions inside the elf book/box. I didn't know they were there. It says 'when the kids go to sleep secretly help etc. he asked me about it and I just said oh I didn't read that....
What seems to help is that our elf moves during the day. This usually happens when we all leave together. I move the elf so the dog doesn't chew him up....but they love it (he usually goes into a China cabinet, and will strike a pose or take candy canes with him).
When they ask me outright about Santa, tooth fairy etc. I usually answer that it's fun. Doesn't sound like your son would go for that.
I like sky's answer about tradition. I never would have questioned my parents, and my kids know better then to badger me!

My dd knows that Santa isn't real along with Easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc.
But for some reason she still believes in the elf on the shelf. She's asked a few times if it's real, and I just say "it looks real to me!"

Sounds like he already knows :(.

What *I* think I would do, is tell him that yes, I'm the one who moves the Efl. Santa and his elves are too busy preparing for Christmas to move the millions of elves that are in homes all over the world, so he enlists the help of parents. He sends me a note (email/text/whatever) telling me the elf's report of the day and where he should go for the next day.

Sure, it's still keeping the "lie" going, but it's a good one! I will always believe in Santa...and my kids know this. Nothing wrong with keeping the spirit alive.

Mine are 22 and 26 and still "believe"! =)

When asked, I just said that its the spirit of "Santa" and Moms and Dads help.