S.H.
My son is 25 months old and still takes 2 naps, morning about 10:00 and afternoon about 3:00. He naps for 2 hours each. He goes to bed fine, even with his afternoon nap. He goes to bed at night at 8:00p.m.
Yes, he went through these transitions too, but not as sporadic as yours. For me, I just kept to his regular routine and nap schedule. I found that during developmental changes and growth spurts, that this is when he had hiccups in his napping. BUT, he always went back to his regular 2 nap a day routine after the phased passed.
For me, if he really did not nap, after my trying... (not having him cry it out), but rather, he'd just play in his crib without falling asleep. Then I just took him out. But then put him down for his next regular nap, at the same times.
I did try and "skip" his morning nap before.... but like your son, it didn't work and he'd just get super tired and clingy and fussy without his nap. So, I reverted back to his 2-nap a day schedule. He responds much better to that. Like yours, if he skips 1 nap, my son just does not make it through the day and then to go to bed at night, he is just too overtired by then and gets very grumpy!
So, this is what I have done. And it works for him. I never "dropped" my son's nap "permanently." Because he needs it...but I did adapt my willingness to "skip" naps here and there if he did not fall asleep, at those times he was different. But I would still try and put him down at the regular times. Same routine, same times, everyday.
I also, because he & my daughter naps in the afternoon (after she gets home from school), only put my son down at certain times...because if he naps at a later time (say at 11:30 or 12:00), there is simply not enough time for him to get a full nap by the time we have to leave the house to go and pick up my daughter from school). So for this reason, if he does not nap in the morning... then I keep him up until his afternoon nap. Then he and my daughter both nap at the same time in the afternoon! (which is great for me).
But everyday, I keep to the same routine, same nap time, same everything, everyday. My son will even, when he is tired, get himself in his nap routine by himself and take my hand to go downstairs to get ready, and he loves his crib still....so that helps. He does like to nap though, and he does not "protest" about it much.
It really depends...but consistency is the key. So, well my son has not "dropped" any naps, yet. But sometimes he just does not "want to" nap. But that's okay. Main thing for me, is that I keep to our routine, and that has kept it regular.
Every child is different. If they aren't going to nap, they aren't. So then wait a bit... then try again. So yes, I do one nap on some days, but usually 2 naps everyday, as that is what my son does best with. But I adapt, while keeping to the same schedule. My son as well, does not do well with only 1 nap. But I gauge him and also go according to that.
well sorry for rambling, but this is what I've done. Your son maybe going through changes and developmental phases... which is normal. Just keep trying... and see what happens. For my son, it was always a phase he went through. Then it passed.
Good luck,
Susan