Does Your 5-Year-old Wipe Her/his Own Arse?

My 1.5 year old tries every time she goes, and then I "finish up" for her. My 3.5 year old (who I started the same way as her little sis) does it herself, and does not want my help, but I do occasionally see skid marks in the underwear (I don't make a big deal out of it, I just tell her to try again and get a clean pair of underwear).

If I were you, I would require that she do it herself every time, and that you will help her after she has given it a real try. That way, she can gain practice and eventually confidence in her abilities. Some kids really freak out about not doing it perfectly because they don't like feeling soiled. Knowing you will back up her efforts may give her peace of mind and help her to get past the emotions and work on the skill development.

My six year old will wipe herself at school and makes me do it at home. Although I think I do a better job, it's getting old. I really want to put a stop to it.

Wow, what a horrible way to start one's birthday-- feeling incapable. Poor kid.

My son occasionally needs a little help--not often, but when he does, I'm willing to do it. He's five, too. If she's having a hard time reaching, do offer support. If you've been doing it for her, she may have had very little practice, and they do need to practice-- I mean, it's not like she can really see what's going on back there.

Teach her to count out how many squares she needs to cover her hand well. Give her lots of encouragement and praise when she does it right. If she's wiping and wiping, have her do the first four or five wipes, and then help. We do want them to be clean, without an itchy bum. It is a reasonable goal, esp. because she'll need to do it on her own in kindergarten, but try not to make it daunting or draw hard lines on it.

Some kids do take longer than others, too.

I told my son the same thing.... at 5 you need to wipe yourself. I also added an incentive - a lego set that he'd been begging for. I am not above bribery in certain instances. He had to wipe himself for 2 weeks and then he would get the toy. Totally worked. He realized it was not a big deal and did a great job and now I only have 6 months left til the 4-yr old can wipe himself! Haha!

One warning though - we have always taught the kids to wipe with TP and then use a flushable wet wipe if needed. Don't let them solely use wipes because they become too reliant on them. I had a girlfriend whose daughter was 9 and couldn't used regular tp. Yikes.

Best of luck!!

Many 5 year olds still need help wiping their tush.
I know, I have 2 kids and I also work at my kids' school.
At school however, we don't wipe for the kids. They do it, but may not do a good job, or will still have skid marks on their underwear and/or be itchy there because they cannot wipe 100% well yet per their fine motor skills, or they will HOLD in their poop.... trying to avoid pooping at school and wait until they come home, to poop.

I have seen it all.
Even with my 2 kids.

Please don't pressure your girl about it.
It is no biggie.
My son is 6 and still needs help.
He has a hard time reaching back there.
My daughter, was about 7, when she could do it efficiently.
I offered help when/if they needed it... but did not battle or fight with them about it.

I also... showed my kids different ways of wiping. ie: while sitting down, while standing up, while standing up but squatting at the same time etc.
But still, for my kids, even at 5 years old, they had a hard time.
They were not having a hard time with wiping... because they are "lazy." They really genuinely had a hard time, doing it.
I knew that.
Therefore, I did not treat it like they had a problem or that they were "naughty." They honestly... hard a hard time with it, at that age.

my girl cold at 3 .. my boy still cant at 5. be patient.. I would rather wipe his butt and make sure it is clean.. than have him havea rash.

he tries to wipe at shcool.. but comes home with a rash.. cause he doesnt get clean..

so keep wiping..
\

Wiping at 5 - yes.
Wiping well at 5 - no! LOL!
I would still offer some help, but mine were in K at age 5, so if you gotta go and momma ain't there then you better at least try to do it yourself!!! LOL!

That's funny - I have a 10 year old that I still occasionally have to help her out. She HATES it when it's messy so she calls me in to help. I was wiping her on a regular basis up until she was 7 or 8, I think . . . I'm sure that's a little extreme, but it was worth it to avoid the melt-down if she found "hershy-squirts" in her panties (please forgive the mental picture)LOL! I don't think it's laziness, I think it's a fear of not getting it all. If she's in tears, I wouldn't push it! Tell her happy birthday for me!!

Wiping, yes. Wiping well - not so much. If you can get her to start the business, you'll probably need to do the follow up "cleanliness check".

ADD: Re. flushable wipes - they ARE NOT!! Per the plumber, who makes money when you call them to unclog your toilet, do NOT use them in the toilet. I get the cheaper non-flushables, wipe FIRST with toilet paper to get most of it off, and then use the wipes for the stubborn little bit left. I throw that in the trash. Because there is so little poo on them, they do not stink immediately and they get dumped into the big trashcan fast enough to not become a stinky issue.

Well, no teacher is going to go in and wipe her when she starts school, so yes, this is a reasonable goal.

At my son's preschool "fully independently potty trained" was a requirement to move to pre-K. So pretty much every 4 1/2 year old we knew was wiping him/herself.

You might start by having her wipe first, then just "checking" for her. She might be less anxious if she knows it won't be cold turkey.

HTH
T.

My kids are older now, but no, they did not wipe themselves at 5. They were closer to 7 and even then I "batted cleanup" for awhile. I think this is something they learn gradually. We also always have wipes available.

I started telling my daughter the same thing, because she was going to be starting kindergarten and I told her flat-out that in kindergarten, they were not going to wipe for her. Funny thing is, if she is at home, she wants my help, but if she happens to poop at the bathroom at school, she manages it herself - not perfectly by any means, but she does the best she can. Seems that if Mom isn't there to come to their rescue, they are more apt to figure it out.

Costco has flushable "moist wipes," basically grown-up baby wipes. These are a life saver for us! Our 5 year old does a MUCH better job with these than regular TP. Plus, they come out of the pack singly so no huge wads of TP clogging the pipes.

yes but not very well.

Ugh - these are the little things in life that make us crazy - but I hope this is the worse situation you'll ever have to deal with.

My kids still needed help at age 5 - it's just tough to manage for them without getting it everywhere - if you know what I mean. so they would try but I would inevitably finish it up. My son at some point just stopped doing it and his underwear would have huge skid marks and he'd smell like butt. This went on until about age 11 - when his cousin (a Navy veteran) told him he smelled like a$$.

Life is gross sometimes isn't it?

Mine started consistently doing sometime between 5 and 5.5yo. And now that she's in kindergarten, she won't even let anyone else in the bathroom when she's on the potty.

I told my daughter that she needed to be able to do this by the time she started school. She was a little over 5 when she started kindergarten and she had been doing it for a while by then.

I had her wipe herself and then I would just make sure it was clean. We use flushable wipes at home. But first toilet paper then flushable wipe to make sure it's clean.

My guy will be 4 in April, he has wiped himself since he was potty trained last year, I checked and helped but taught him to do it. In preschool it was one of the things I was asked about when enrolling him @ 3, because teachers don't help. It's a part of potty training. Just wondering why you told her she would have to do it when she turned 5, but now it's funny, not expected. If she can't reach I'd tell her to do her best, that's all that can be expected. A nightly bath and underwear change takes care of any misses. Yes, a reasonable goal :)

Adding - what I mean when I ask why it's now funny, not expected, is, were you working with her to learn how to do it so her 5th birthday was a reasonable date to expect her to? It's "training", she needs to be taught and encouraged.

I'm shocked at how many older kids don't wipe their own bottoms! 5 is definitely old enough to do it alone and do it well...I agree with previous posters-- make them wipe by themselves first every time and then you inspect. You have to teach your child how to do it, not expect they just know what to do (gross, i know). Within a week or two they will figure it out!

If she has a hard time reaching, watch her and see if there's something you can suggest. For example, if she tries to wipe back to front vs reaching around back, that may be missing a lot. I gave my 4 yr old Kandoo or similar wipes and that seems to help.