Do You Teach Your Young Children About War?

One of my former students was shot and killed in Afghanistan this past year, and I was pretty upset. I thought it was best to be honest with my kids, so I told them that I was sad because a student of mine died very very far away from home. They asked how he died, and I said that someone shot him. The both (3 and 5 at the time) asked why someone did that. I explained that he was fighting in a war far away from home, and that sometimes grown-ups really can't work things out in a nice way, and that soldiers go in to fight each other, and sometimes people get shot and die and it's very very sad.

I'm pretty much a pacifist, so I talked up the angle of war being a sad thing and that I wish it didn't happen. That seemed to satisfy them.

Well my oldest was 3 when 9/11 happened. He was at my mom's house that day as part of his normal routine, and she had the TV on all day because my sister lives in NY. So he saw it all - the planes crashing into the buildings, people falling/jumping, the towers collapsing. Up until that point he was vaguely aware of soldiers and what they do (help keep people safe at home and in other countries) because a friend's husband was in the National Guard and my son loved seeing him in his uniform. He was sent to Iraq so the war very much just became a routine part of our lives. We still pray every night for those we know who are deployed or active duty and in general for all soldiers, not just US.

Basically, we've talked about how sometimes, bad people who care only about themselves can become powerful leaders and when that happens and the people in that area are denied basic human rights (safety, food, shelter) or are treated violently, other countries have to go in and protect the people and help them get freedom and safety. I sort of relate it to bullying - that God teaches us peace (we are Catholic and Jewish), but sometimes we have to defend people who are in danger and sometimes the only way to do that is with force, which results in war. Sadly, all of our children are growing up in a time of war, but I think it's just their reality and they go with it. Our children don't know any different, and we're just lucky that it's not happening on our shores.

My son (8) has recently become interested in WWII. He began by kind of getting into the older fighter planes and it bloomed from that. For his birthday he got a great book called "WWII for Children" and it is such a good book!
We also discuss why wars begin, the responsibility the US has taken in cases where a country is being oppressed, the situation in Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. he is now aware of what is going on in Libya.
He is aware that "mad men" can seize power and create torment/torture/difficulty for the citizens living under their rule.
He understands the concepts of "war" but at the end of the day, is a pacifist, as he often states "It's just so dumb. People die and get hurt."

Because your son is 5, try to keep it in very simple terms: The guy running this country is very mean and unfair to his citizens, there are other countries that feel compassion for those people so they are trying to get him to stop, etc."

ooops--sorry, I mean your daughter.

I am always upfront with them at their own maturity level. With war at that age I told them - the two groups are not getting along and are both being very mean to eachother. AS they have gotten older or are more mature we add details. My situation is different than most "normal" families as my husband is Law Enforcement and we live in a community that has a high number of Military and Law Enforcement, so our girls know of Dads (and Moms) that are oversea fighting

Yes, I have tuaght them history and current events since they were little. My boys have not been disturbed in the least. My oldest is actually quite fascinated and my youngest is a little bored with it. The only thing I had been hesitant to teach was the holocaust. I finally told my 9 yo about it a couple months ago. He was not affected as much as I thought he might be-I think when they are still so young the impact and implications of war/tragedies is a little lost. They don't yet have a world view.

My daughter started watching Liberty's Kids when she was 4. It's a great kids series I found on Netflix that you can instantly stream. It teaches about American history and there is war involved. She's never really asked any questions though about war so we've never discussed it. I also don't watch the news when she is up.

I agree and disagree...I have always been open with all subjects with my 4 year old, up to what I feel she is ready for, sometimes a little more whe she pushes, but I also feel there is an innocence in young children we sometimes take away by giving them so much knowledge...sure they may be the next 5 year old history buff, but why not let them be young and play and pretend war in J. made up for games? IDK I;m torn

I have introduced the image of a "soldier" as someone who protects us and our country. I chose not to use verbs like fighting and killing. I dont want her to think of military folk as scary. She asked what a sailor was; I told her it was someone who protects us in the ocean, Airforce protects us in the air, and other soldiers protect us on the ground. We have told her that there are mean people in other countries who are mean to the people who live there and who also want to hurt us, and our soldiers go there to protect us from them.

She has seen news stories that showed combat scenes. We tell her that there are some places in the world where people are fighting against each other--and isn't she appreciative of everything we have here, isn't she glad we don't live there.

my oldest daughter started learning about history from American Girl. When she was 5, she saw a catalog, fell in love with the dolls, and we started reading the books together. She now has a general understanding of the revolutionary war, the civil war, and World War II.... who was fighting and why. She sometimes forgets that there is STILL fighting going on around the world, so I gently remind her of people I know who are still involved in the military. But I don't want her to get too upset or preoccupied with current events. She's 7 now.

I think unless you ave a husband over seas or your child asks a question I would not bring it up. if it does come up I would just say it's grown ups fighting to get what they want. With my kids I never lied to them about anything, (Well except for Santa Clause) those things, but I always was as honest as I could be and give as little details that satisfied them. A 5 year old would be disturb about war, and probably could not understand why even if you did explain it. J.

My husband is active duty Army, so war is a reality in our home. My husband is currently deployed to Iraq. My 5 year old understands a lot and we talk about it a lot. My 3 year old knows Daddy is in Iraq, but doesn't understand war. Just be open and answer questions honestly. Less than 1% of Americans wear the uniform, so a lot of people are completely unaware of the sacrifice or lifestyle of an American soldier. There is a lot of great information you can share with her.