Do You Question Yourself?

Ok, as a general rule, I might respond that a certain amount of worrying and second guessing yourself is a normal and rather healthy part of life. It suggests humility, it suggests you are open to improving yourself.

However in your case, since you have taken it upon yourself to plaster your deepest most personal inner struggles for the past couple of years to millions of strangers on the internet, this suggests you are merely a pathetic attention seeker.

Stiil, that you have "worry" might indicate that at least your SUBconscious has some common sense and I hope you'll run with it. I hope it will make you realize....yeah you SHOULD worry, you're a train wreck and YES it IS possible to change. It IS possible for you to be "normal". For your child (if you actually have one, hard to tell) can be normal, too. That the cycle CAN be broken.

So yeah, in your case, I hope you'll LISTEN to that worry.

I mean since you are putting yourself OUT THERE.

:(

Big shout out to Theresa, for writing what I was thinking! (And much better then I could.)

If your life is going backwards, questioning is the rational thing to do.

If someone's life it going well then yes, the advice is to live and enjoy, not worry if it can be better.

When you seem to be making one bad decision after another a self assessment is a good thing. You need to figure out what is driving your decisions.

It really is hard to believe you have a child because all your decisions seem to have no reflection on how it effects a child. I know you claim it does because of what you think hurt you as a child and you are not repeating those mistakes. Problem is you are making a whole mess of new ones that do not take his actual feelings into account.

So instead of telling you not to question yourself I will tell you what I think you should be questioning. Question why you are trying to parent the child you used to be while ignoring the child you have?

Let's see, do I ever NOT question myself? No, I pretty much always do, and it gets pretty tortuous at times.

But I think a more telling question might be, after you question yourself, what are your ANSWERS? There, I usually wind up telling myself, "XYZ was the best decision I could have made under the circumstances, and I'm prepared to live with the results, whatever they turn out to be." And then, I'm usually at peace with things, though it takes me some time to get there.

In terms of just relaxing and letting life take its course, I don't know. Is that really a realistic, constructive goal? Adulthood and parenthood are pretty damn stressful, and to the extent that you can control the course of life, it makes sense to try. So I don't know that complete happy-go-lucky relaxation is the right goal to set.

Rather than trying not to question yourself, you might try to look deeper and think about what's really driving these questions. Maybe there's some underlying something you can change. Maybe something happened that you can learn from, so you can make different decisions in the future. Or not. But self-reflection is often a very positive thing.

If you are asking about ME, yes, I do question myself. Not second-guess, necessarily, but there are times at the end of the day where I do a little review and think "wow, I could have done that better. The next time when things are going this way, I'll respond in this other way...."

*That*, to me, is learning from life. Some questions make us dig a little deeper. Why am I stuck in this pattern? Why am I doing what I am doing?

Sometimes, the endless self-questioning has to do with our need for outside validation. If your self-esteem is suffering (due to past or present circumstances), I always suggest seeking counseling. Hopefully, you break the unhealthy ways of thinking/perceptions and feel more at peace, and have more ability to focus on the present and those around yourself in the here and now. You will be able to not be so worried about not being perfect/doing perfect and be willing to make mistakes, okay admitting them, and then moving on instead of holding onto them.

Can you imagine how much anxiety you can let go of when you realize you are only one person and cannot control the rest of the world, cannot be responsible for everyone else's responses/reactions, and that it's OKAY?

Simply liberating! Give it a try!

It's not so much about questioning what I am doing...it's questioning if this is the right path for me and my family.

I do understand about you wanting to relax and let life take its course, however, I feel like I must direct that course, maybe sometimes correct it, and be able to be me and be happy. Does that make sense?

I know that God will provide for me and my family. He has over the last several years shown me what my faith in Him can provide, He has given me friends - some on here who have been AMAZING finds!! Others - they were the bumps in the road to help me understand my footing...my strengths and my weaknesses.

You have made a HUGE change in your life by leaving your boy friend, moving in with your sister and now, sadly, having to put a dog down.

Make sure you have a gratitude log. So you can remind yourself of what you have.

Write your goals down. Write what you feel you have overcome, triumphed in, etc. so you can see just how far you have come in life. You have more control than you know over your life. You don't need to stress over it - you can question what you are doing - but take the step back and don't over-analyze what you are doing.

Hope that helps!

There are 2 parts of this. I look at making choices and decisions as an opportunity to do my best.. This means MY best. I also try very hard not to judge others that at least have tried their best.

There are times with no right or wrong choices. Instead they are what is best for us.

Also we cannot be afraid of at least trying. . If we miss out on opportunities or new experiences, we may never experience a full life.

I also had to teach our perfectionist daughter. no one is perfect. There is nothing wrong with mistakes and every one makes mistakes. The most successful people have made huge mistakes, bad choices, but instead of quitting, they have taken this experience and learning from it.

As long as we tried our best. No regrets.
And I try not to judge those that at least tried. I give them credit for putting themselves out there.

It's a conscious effort to step back and be thankful for what you have and where you are at this moment, instead of thinking of everything you don't have, everything that could happen, etc.

If its consuming your thoughts, you may want to consider counseling. It's normal to have some worry, but if its making it so you miss out on everything then you may need some help retraining your thought process.

No, I do not question myself.
Not sure if it's tied to self esteem but maybe it is.
My mom was a massive worrier & it can get passed on but as I grew into
my teens & young adulthood, I would stop myself from worrying. How did
I do that? I would actually tell myself "stop", take a breath & immediately
change what I was thinking about. It took a long time to retrain myself but
I did!
Then motherhood came & I went right back to worrying. What have I done
to stop that now? I stay "stop" to myself in my head, rationalize to myself
that worrying ahead of time does absolutely nothing to deter the bad things
from happening since you can't "will" them away but be vigilant instead.
So I try to be vigilant w/o being obsessive.
I am careful when I go out into the word meaning I drive carefully, look out
for other drivers, don't go to the ATM at night, do not talk on my cell phone
while going to my car in a dark parking garage at night, go to the doctor to
get my breast exams etc.
So what I am really trying to say is I don't take chances AND I enjoy life as
it is presented to me every single day!!!

Be cognizant (sp?) of your thinking then when you feel yourself beginning
the out of control spiral of worry tell yourself aloud "stop the worry, that you can't stop your living because of worry, worry won't get you anywhere & am
just going to enjoy & live my life!".

It takes time to re-train your brain but it can be done! Start today! Stop
yourself when you notice your are worrying. One step at a time.

I have the same issue sometime. I suppose you can simply try putting things in perspective. For example, you might try putting the worry on a scale from one to ten. On the scale from one to ten how urgent of a worry is it?. What is the likelihood the worry will become something more than you can handle ? . And if all else fails ..sure, counseling is a way to figure out ways of not letting the worry become anxiety.

I don't really worry excessively. I learned when I was 39 that life was too short to spend it unhappy. So I got divorced, removed all negative people and things from my life and it got SO much better. I'm 46 now and still do that. I try to do the best for myself, husband and kids every day. Some things you can control and some things you can't. I think you just need to understand that and when bad things happen, you get through it. I don't question myself because I feel like I talk things over with my husband and we make choices together. Whatever the outcome is, good or bad, we will get through it. That is life. So just let the big things go, pick your battles, don't focus on the negative and do the best you can. Good luck.

Not really. I mean, there are definitely issues I will bounce off of my husband or my mom or best girlfriends, but in the end, I usually feel confident about my choices and decisions. I think it is important to examine everything and make the best choice you can with the information you have!We have been through some difficulties financially in the past two years, but things are on the mend now, and I have tried to never let that become the only 'focus' of my life or marriage or family. Sure, it has affected things, but I do just try to enjoy where I am and who I am while it's happening. I see people all the time who are so unhappy, stressed out, - sometimes with good cause, sometimes over dumb, 'first world problems' kinds of things. If everyone is healthy and you love each other, anything else can be worked out. IMO.

Nope. Not really. There are times I think "I need to spend more O. on O. time with my child (or my husband!)" or " I have to get my dinnertime plan under control" but "question" myself? Not really.

I firmly believe there are two camps of people:
1. People that allow life to happen to them
2. People that HAPPEN to life.

In camp #1, there are 2 sub groups:
A. People that field the curve balls, learn from them and do better moving forward
B. those that wallow in the lack of control over what happens to them.

This might not help but here goes--I question whether we should really relax and let life take it's course. At least in my past, that has meant letting other people and circumstances control my life. I believe there is something in each of us that stirs us--dreams, desires, whatever you call it. The only way to realize our dreams is to go against the flow. I was watching the history channel about Charles Goodyear (one example) http://www.american-inventor.com/charles-goodyear.aspx. He struggled and failed many times before finding a way to make vulcanized rubber. His self-esteem did not depend on what people thought of him (read), but on fulfilling his purpose in life.