Do You Ever Just Feel like You're Going Insane??? Lol

All I can say is by the time my kids were old enough to move out they were also behaved enough that I miss them. :)

He sounds exactly like my 3yr old. She is also very smart / talented and does not act like that at daycare or at Grandma's house. Don't really have an answer for you, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. And, no, you are not a bad Mom. I think it's just the personalities of certain kids.

Hey we have the Same SON!!!

My 3 y/o is EXACTLY like that. I mean every thing you typed I could type about my son. I'm going insane too!!!
I don't know what to say as advice...Im still trying to figure it out haha

One thing I do, is ignore him.
It takes A LOT. But I told him, and continue to tell him "Mommy will no longer listen or talk to you when you scream or whine"
He starts his fit, I get up and walk away. He will follow me around for a LONG time crying and whining at me. I just ignore him.
Sometimes, without talking, i just pick him up and put him in his room.
Otherwise he will follow me saying "talk to me mommy"
The moment he stops crying and talks I go right back to paying all attention to him.
It takes a few min and some SERIOUS patience, but it seems to be having the desired effect. SO FAR

My little "ray of sun shine" as i call him some times even when hes not who is 2 has been a little punk and in his terrible 2 right after he turned 1. If i tell him no he yells at me.on his bad days he hits kicks yells .. its not fun i just tell my self its a stage and it will pass.. all i can do is hope.. things can only get better.. i try and get out of the house with him when i am not working. and i have notice that because i did go back to work its onkly gotten worse not better :(

Ah! They torture the mother....because they CAN! LOL

Yes, there are days I can't think straight--and I have O.--in school all day! hahaha

I would just suggest that you keep him as occupied as you can.

You like him AND love him....he might need to be challenged. Lego's, Lincoln Logs, play Doh, drawing pads, crayons, Hot Wheels, puzzles, etc. Engage him and walk away.

My son was always kind of "high maintenance" in the regard that he always needed to BE DOING something. It sounds like your son is bored. Is he?

As for the 1.5 yo--he's miserable because he's teething--just hang in the best you can.

Good luck!

I have 3 kids and the youngest (and last child for us) is 3 yrs old. I have to say that I am so happy he's 3. Why? Because this will be the last time I have to go through the "terrible 3s." I firmly believe the "terrible 2s" are nothing compared to the awful "terrible 3s." My little guy sounds a lot like yours: jumping on furniture, stubborn streak a mile long, tantrums and fits daily, etc. I have jokingly said if he was our first child, he would be an only child! My older two weren't nearly as challenging as my youngest but they did have their own case of "terrible 3s." What bugs me the most is that he's not nearly as "bad" when he's around Daddy. My husband knows our little guy is a stinker but sometimes he thinks I'm exaggerating when I say its been a long, hard day. UGH! So, I completely understand how you feel.

My approach is This To Shall Pass. I wish I had better advice to give but I haven't found anything yet. Hopefully some other momma gives us both some ideas. :-)

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First of all be proud that you are raising a boy that is respectful and well behaved at school. Sooo, he does know how to act appropriately...good job MOM!

Yes, he is saving all his antics for you at home.

I feel most exasperated when I am tired, hungry and trying to do too many things at one time and feel pressured. So maybe you can work on limiting those issues.

Try a reward system with him. Also, catch him when he is doing something good and praise him up and down.

Something that helps me is stating ahead of time what I expect. "Sweetie, I am so glad you had a great day at school. Let's go inside and do something fun together. First I need you to do A,B and C then meet me in the family room and I have a game to play with you. Now honey, do you jump on the couch? NO. DO you tug on my pant leg? NO Also, let's go and pick out the treat you would like for dessert after you finish your dinner and put it on a special plate. Son, I know you are going to make so many good choices today. Now let's go and get A,B and C done so we can get to the fun stuff!!"

Kids his age work for immediate rewards...can be a treat,sticker or even a hug or kiss or a pat on the back. Immediate positive feedback.

Good luck and best wishes. We have all been there. You have very little ones that are at such needy ages...it is a recipe for feeling overwhelmed.

honestly, the 3's are way worse than the "terrible 2's" - hang in there - it does get better with time, you still have challenges though - they just are different as they get older. hang in there - this too shall pass!
~T.

All the time!! My 8 year old hates school so much that he has decided he will do everything in his power to drive me and his teachers crazy so that I will home school him! At least I think that's his plan. And my 13 year old son has been taken over by his hormones. I'm reading a book called "Why do they act that way" and it says I should expect to have my real son back anywhere between 16 and 18! My 3 year old is pretty easy at the moment unless it’s time to eat but she doesn’t like what’s on the menu, I gave her the wrong colored cup, I didn’t put ice in her drink, she can’t find the right outfit to wear, I take her shopping or it's time for bed, and so on. So yes, there are days that I just want to go and lock myself in the bedroom and hide from them all! I wish I could give you advise but I think it sounds like you have normal kids and you’re a great mom. Also, in my experience when they grow out of this phase there will be another right behind it. I’m not sure it gets easier, at least it hasn’t for me, it’s just different. Just remember to not be too hard on yourself and give yourself time for just you!

I like the idea of squrting him with a water bottle when he's having a tantrum - it will certainly get his attention. I remember my mother saying she squirted water in our faces when we would have a tantrum - we stopped very quickly. It doesn't hurt, of course, it just startles and distracts them. Also, I see in your post that you "compromised" with your son about jumping on the couches. I don't think you can compromise with a child that young - they don't understand the concept. For him, you are allowing jumping on the furniture. I think you should stop the compromise and teach him that he is not allowed to jump on any furniture. After all, you don't want him going to someone else's house and jumping on the bed because mom says it's okay. If he did that at my house I would be extremely upset because I don't allow that. I'm wondering if maybe having some sort of daily schedule might help. I've seen on Supernanny where she puts a daily schedule into place and it really helps the kids be calmer because they know they have a scheduled activity to do, they know what to expect, they look forward to it, and they don't feel at a loss for what to do. Good luck!

Sounds like you need to put yourself in time out with a glass of wine :)

I DO actually put myself in time out... drives me nuts when I'm doing 76 different things and all 3 kids are asking me a bazillion questions... and dad's right there. ASK HIM!!

Just wait, when you're a grandparent, your kids will call and complain about their kids doing the same stuff, and you get to laugh until you're blue in the face :)

I might be able to help with the tantrums at least. When my son throws a tantrum and he still does at 15, I squirt him with a water bottle. I know it sounds crazy,but it works with my son. He is ADHD and very stubborn. He will keep asking me the same question until he gets the answer he wants,like can he play video games. He is currently grounded from them since he is failing all of his classes,so I hear this from the time he gets home until the time leave for work at night.

Good luck

Just off the top of my head, I wonder if your son may need more time away from you to be with other kids his age. You mentioned that he is at school 3 days a week for 2.5 hours. My son at that age was in school half days five days a week. When we had him home (like on vacations/holidays) he would got nuts and tantruming was also constant. For my son who is extremely bright, that interaction with other kids or time away from us helped with the tantrums. We feel in retrospect that he "needed" that social time. You say he doesn't misbehave with others is he with his siblings at those other places as well? Another thought is that when your son is home his only playmate at home other than you is your 1.5 year old and if he is bright as you say he is that may get a little boring for him and then he starts acting out. Hope things get better for all of you!

OMG. That is my son to a T!!! Super smart kid. His preschool teachers have told me that he is one of the brighter kids in class. He is constantly amazing me with the things he knows and the things he says. Love him to pieces. He is 4 now. He's gotten SOOO much better, however, he is still difficult at times on most days. At 3 and a half though--he was EXACTLY like your son. He was even worse at 2 and a half! I would call my mom crying because I felt guilty for breathing a sigh of relief on the weekends his dad had him! I know it is so hard to deal with on a daily basis and you feel like you're going crazy. I did that too. I just took deep breaths a lot, tried not to lose it in front of him, made sure I relaxed during naptime/quiet time to prepare for the next battle. As soon as he went to bed, I didn't do any housework--I just enjoyed the peacefulness and relaxed! Try to hang in there. I promise--it gets better. And a couple of glasses of wine after a particularly hard day is well deserved!!

You sounds like a great mom, don't worry. You sound like you are trying things and involved, like you parent with intention and affection.

My only ideas are: is he getting enough sleep?

And also, you may want to try ignoring bad behaviors since timeouts don't seem to be working. I have always believed timeouts should be used for aggressive or destructive behaviors but ignoring should be used to rid of "annoying" behaviors such as tantrum throwing, being demanding, etc. Maybe he finds even the timeout attention to be a good thing (not saying you don't give him enough attention but some kids do it for negative attention anyway.) I would try removing all attention from him when he does these things - say once "I will talk/play with you when you can talk in a quiet voice" or whatever you are trying to get from him. Ignore until he calms down and then immediately re-engage him. No lecturing, just re-invite him to join the fun.

If he begins to get destructive or hits others while in a tantrum, that's a different story and I would do an immediate time out. I don't know how your timeouts look, but make sure you are NOT talking to him, giving him any extra attention - put him in the naughty spot and walk away. If he gets up, put him back but again no talking, no drama. Once he stays and does his time - tell him why he was in timeout and have him apologize.

These are just some ideas. Good luck to you, it can't be easy!

Try using a marble jar reward sysem. Google it to see how it works. I do suggest that you start with 10 equalling a reward. Then make it 5 more, 5 more, up to 25 or so. When he earns marbles, put one in (make getting one it a little easier at first so he can get some and see how nice a reward is). Then once he is at 10, bring him to the dollar store or give him a $10 limit at the toy store and then start from scratch.

It's worth a try!

ah the hell of a three year old- my youngest boy was just like this- Seriously I remember thinking- "what the hell have I gotten myself into?" my oldest was an angel so the second of course had to be a devil. Stick to your guns- take out the jumping on the bed compromise- it just confuses it- When he he is jumping physically stop him sit him down- remind him that is not acceptable- when he is throwing fits- walk away no hauling to time out no talking just walk away or work around him. Answer the question once then walk away. This is the advice I received from moms on this site when I had the same problems. Trust me it is not easy but mine is 8 now there are still moments but he knows when I walk away we are done

i answered your question from today and then saw this one. I tell you, you could be talking about me in this post. my story is a little different, my oldest is 2 1/2 and the twins are 11 months. our toddler just had his tonsils out almost 2 weeks ago and so of course during his recovery he has had some super big fits, and of course he was hurting but then sometimes you can just tell he is acting out because he knows he "can" right now. there are days that I got no sleep (due to my own issues, the boys sleep through the night like champs 95% of the time), then the twins are cutting teeth, my toddler is having tantrums or is hurting, husband works 2 jobs so I can stay at home and the house may be a mess and i cant get a thing done because of the boys all needing something and i just want to SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM! so yep, I totally understand, there are times that I just want to run screaming down the street and not look back. but then, one of the boys will do something amazingly cute or they will all calm down together and play and i'll be okay...i know i'm rambling, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, I totally get what you are saying!

I have two kids - my oldest was that way until about age 5. Age 5 has been magical with her!! My two and a half year old is that way right now and I feel your pain! Bedtime with this kid has been a two hour battle for at least a year now! I also drag this kid out of the pantry and refridgerator 637 times a day (and I work full time - so that is just in the few hours that we are home together!) It has gotten to the point where I don't like him and I don't like me because of the way I react.

With that said - I will say that my reaction is probably the biggest key to his behavior. If I get upset and start screaming and hollering, his behavior just gets worse. If I try to be calm, patient and try to make everything fun - I have much better luck. (Trust me, I have to remind myself of this on an HOURLY basis!!) I struggle with it more than I am successful. I have also found that distraction really helps. My son was screaming and fighting about going to bed last night - I said (and this might sound cruel, but it worked!) "Uh Oh! I hear the boogeyman and the boogeyman likes little kids that are screaming and crying and not going to bed. You better get under your covers and go to sleep before he comes here to get you..." My son instantly stopped screaming, got under his covers and was asleep in five minutes. He did ask me to lay with him - and I happily obliged with a few extra minutes of cuddle time. Will it work all the time? Probably not - but it got us through bedtime last night!

Another thing to consider is maybe he is just bored and wants some more attention. I know that can be tough with a household to run - but maybe just setting aside some focused one on one time each day will help. I have found that my kids tend to act up if I'm trying to get stuff done around the house and haven't properly occupied them. So - maybe spending an hour on a crafts project each day - and then giving them a game to play or movie to watch for an hour while you get things done around the house will help too.

Omg, are you me?! Your question sounds like me to a tee!! I have three boys, am a sahm, oldest in school, two at home and my middle child and youngest are a handfuls! I tried seeing a counselor about six months ago, that lasted only three sessions and she said he sounds like a normal boy! It is so nice to hear from someone that is experiencing the same thing!!

There is no real answer...just waiting for them to grow out of it. Feel lucky....my great nephew is like that around everybody...that's why he doesn't go anywhere..nobody wants to go if he goes.