She is a good kid and won't even buy herself a car. Her one thing I feel is a waste is that she is buying up to 10 concert tickets at a time and inviting friends. Sometimes she does expensive VIPs with one or two friends. She is paying for all this. This month, she has gone to 7 shows. She works part-time and is in school part-time. The inheritance was from her great uncle and a total surprise at her high school graduation. He wrote her a letter and told her to make time for fun because all she ever did was study.
According to what you wrote, the uncle specified that it was to be for fun. So, it sounds like she's honoring his wishes! It would be nice if she didn't squander it on other people, but she probably wouldn't have fun if they didn't go with her. I guess she's keeping the economy rolling by spending. That's how I would look at it.
I am really conservative with money, but that's how I feel about this particular situation.
No, you can't. It's hard to watch a young adult squander her money but she's just that - an adult.
When she stops sharing her windfall with her friends, the fly-by-night ones will leave her, and she'll know what her value was to them. The good ones - if there are any among those who have accepted this largess - will stick with her and console her when she has nothing.
The uncle should have put it in a trust for her, so that she could access some now, some at 25, and some at 30, but the horse is out of the barn on that one.
If she wasn't raised with life skills around finances, it's hard to blame her or stop her now. Chalk it up to a hard life lesson, and be glad she's spending it on shows instead of drugs or seedy investments, I guess.
She is an adult and, while she may end up regretting wasting the money when she is ready to invest or buy a house, it is her money to waste and her lesson to learn.
My husband and I were barely 20 when his grandmother passed and left us a sum of money. We spent the money on trips and experiences and now of course wish we had saved enough to pay off our home etc but that was a lesson we had to learn, and we still value all the memories of those experiences so much we can't consider the money "wasted" even if other purchases (a home) may have been more practical.
No, it's none of your business how other people spend their money.
It is perfectly normal for you to be concerned. You have a lot more life experience than she does, and if you inherited money today you're use it differently than she is.
She may regret it later, or it may be some of the best memories of her entire lifetime. It sounds like she is using it to fulfill her uncle's specific final wishes for her. Since she is an adult, this is only your business to comment if she asks for your input. I agree with B that if she does ask, send her to a financial planner.
Frustrating, but no, you can't tell her what to do with it. She will definitely regret it later on, but that is her lesson to learn. Many of the friends will probably fall by the wayside once the money is gone. Again, her lesson to learn. Unless she asks for your advice or guidance, there really isn't much you can say.
Did she ask for your opinion or advice?
What is your relationship to her? Friend? Relative?
How would you like someone giving you unsolicited advice?
Until she asks you - you keep your mouth shut and don't discuss the situation with her or anyone else.
Few 19 yr olds (or anyone) would handle a sudden wealth well.
She might very well blow it all and have a ball.
So what?
While it would be lovely for her to put some of that into an IRA to grow for her retirement she's 19 and will believe she's immortal and nothing bad can happen to her at least until she's 25.
If she should ask you for advice - tell her to make an appointment with an accredited financial planner.
She will get some excellent financial advice that way.
It depends on your relationship with her...if it were my child 18 or 19 years old I am pretty sure I would visit with them and not tell them specifically what to do or not do but give them the name of our financial planner and highly suggest a visit with them on their own. As they are an adult but all adults sometimes need professionals to assist them in making the best choices on issue that they have no true experience doing...I wouldn't build a building without an architect, engineer, and excellent contractor...so how would I know great money management without some really good advice or possibly a second or third opinion.
If it was a close, very close friend I might just out right ask them about it.
I also think not buying a car when you have the funds is almost worse than buying tons of concert tickets. A car gives you the ability to travel and being able to get around better opens the world even to employment opportunities that might not be available by bus or Uber.
Money is very personal so I understand why so many people are telling you to stay out of it. And unless you are the parent or best of very very best friends don't even think about it. Good luck!!
you don't say what your relationship is to her, which is important. if she's your kid then yes, you have a right to ask her if you can discuss it with her. if she's amenable then share your concerns. perhaps suggest that she put half of it into savings and have fun with the rest.
if she's not your kid or very close to you, then you only have a 'right' if she invites your opinion. if she doesn't, zip your lip.
not sure why not buying herself a car makes her a 'good kid.' i think a car would be a terrific thing on which to spend some money.
but experiences trump stuff. she's getting experiences AND she's using the money exactly as her benefactor told her he wanted her to.
that's pretty cool.
khairete
S.
You can’t tell her what to do with it. She’ll be sorry when she realized she blew it. A lot of adults who come into some money blow it, unfortunately.
Her friends are using her... they’re not going to say no thank you.
The sad part is that she’s blowing it and does not understand financial independence and the value of saving and delayed gratification.
Hopefully she’ll realize sooner than later that she needs to stash some away for the rainy days to come in her future. If not, she’ll learn a big lesson when it’s gone.
