Divorce Question - Port Jefferson,NY

She should do all she can right now to prove he has a hidden income, and yes, she needs to let her attorney know.

Maybe she should figure out how much he's going to "hurt her with" and then figure out what the penalties and interest will be to rat him out to the IRS. Decide which one will be less and do that.

With her lawyer having the evidence of where he truly makes his money, the threat of telling the court AND the IRS might make him "see the light" and not demand what he doesn't deserve. I think I'd rather pay the IRS penalties than pay an a-hole husband like THAT spousal support and have him take everything...

Dawn

She should give this info to her lawyer. She should collect bank statements showing his cash deposits, receipts or photographs of expensive purchases (cars, motorcycles, boats, vacations, golf outings, fancy dinners, club memberships, furniture, electronics, ANYTHING. Her husband is NOT going to want this info to go public. She should not discuss anything with him at all - all the communication goes through the lawyers. She should put any information in the hands of her lawyer or a trusted friend NOW, getting it out of the house so he can't take it if he is still living there. A neighbor of mine had a devious husband too. Her lawyer told her to get a post office box for mail that the husband shouldn't see (lawyer communications, financial stuff) and also to get a bank account just in her name so that he can't raid their joint accounts and spend everything. She won't be hiding the financial information from the lawyers, but she will be protecting her money in the short run.

It depends on the state they live in. She needs to make sure her lawyer knows that he makes money off the books.

1) it depends how 'obvious' his unstated income is (as in, tax records, and bank statements. The money has to be able to be 'followed'. The tax issue is a BIG one if she's been committing tax fraud)

2) Depends on the state. In WA NO spousal support is the norm. I got 2 years 'rehabilitative support', since -in legal slang- I flipped burgers to get him through medschool (actually answered phones to get him into computer science). If he did the same for her, then he DESERVES spousal support to help make up for lost years. If they came into the marriage essentially as they are leaving it, then it's uncommon HOWDVER she's likely to pay child support, even though she'll have the kids (the idea being that its unfair for kids to live in squalor and riches. Whomever make the most (when there is a large disparity in income potential, regardless of time spent, usually pays towards the children. If he has half time, or major time, then the amount will be higher in most states. ALL STATES VARY IN CHILD SUPPORT AND SPOUSAL SUPPORT.

Most states, though, are getting rid of spousal support (stupid IMHO, there's no unemployment available for stay at home parents who lose their jobs)... And those that have it have HUGE restrictions on it (10+ years of marriage, year caps : like 1-5, rehabilitive support only, etc.)

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3) She needs to speak to an attorney for her specific case.

Updated

1) it depends how 'obvious' his unstated income is (as in, tax records, and bank statements. The money has to be able to be 'followed'. The tax issue is a BIG one if she's been committing tax fraud)

2) Depends on the state. In WA NO spousal support is the norm. I got 2 years 'rehabilitative support', since -in legal slang- I flipped burgers to get him through medschool (actually answered phones to get him into computer science). If he did the same for her, then he DESERVES spousal support to help make up for lost years. If they came into the marriage essentially as they are leaving it, then it's uncommon HOWDVER she's likely to pay child support, even though she'll have the kids (the idea being that its unfair for kids to live in squalor and riches. Whomever make the most (when there is a large disparity in income potential, regardless of time spent, usually pays towards the children. If he has half time, or major time, then the amount will be higher in most states. ALL STATES VARY IN CHILD SUPPORT AND SPOUSAL SUPPORT.

Most states, though, are getting rid of spousal support (stupid IMHO, there's no unemployment available for stay at home parents who lose their jobs)... And those that have it have HUGE restrictions on it (10+ years of marriage, year caps : like 1-5, rehabilitive support only, etc.)

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3) She needs to speak to an attorney for her specific case.

She might, it's gender neutral as it should be. In California, it's formulaic... How much does he make (find proof and let the courts know he makes money off the books), how much does she make, what percentage does each parent spend with the kids and what do they need to keep the standard of living. From there, they put it into an equation and they are done. If you want to change it, you need to convince the judge of it. They take into account how young they are and how long they've been together (that is, a young healthy guy will not get much but some money to help him get started but have her fight for non-permanent alimony).

If he makes money off the books and does not declare it in taxes, he's going to be in a hell of alot of financial hurt with the IRS but then again, so will she since she was married to him at the time. Then again, even if both will be responsible for back taxes, he will at least have to declare it in the future but you may be able to make the argument that she paid her taxes, he did not. If he has been declaring it, then how much he makes is in the tax forms each year so there is not way for him to hide that.

Basically, he can't hurt her without seriously crippling himself. Don't let the fear get to her. If it's best to divorce, do it and get a good lawyer if the guy is going to go out of his way to hurt her. If she get the kids, she will most likely get the house. Most courts think more of the children's well being and don't give a d*mn about the parents... and I agree. It keeps parents from trying to hurt the other since you have little choice in what is best for the children.

Have her read up on this:
http://www.nysdivorcelawyer.net/faq.htm#distribution1

A friend of mine had the same situation, she wound up paying spousal support, AND child support for the time he had their two daughters. He had a house in his girlfriend's name he made the payments on, (he never paid towards their's when married to her), worked construction under the table, and had a stellar attorney. Tell your friend to inform her attorney of the situation now. My friend's attorney wasn't able to help her, though the bills were split other than the house (she wanted it that way so he had no claim to it, but had to "buy him out") the ex was a master at covering his trails :-/

It depends on the laws of their state, the legal precedent set in that state, the lawyers they each have (I'd look for one specifically with experience dealing with tax evasion and "off-the-books" income), the judge that they get (and his/her mood on the day he hears the case, if they can't agree out of court), the day of the week, the phase the moon is in... Really, anything about a divorce is completely impossible to know ahead of time, unless the two parties can work out a deal ahead of time between lawyers or with a mediator.

I've been divorced twice and each time, the two of us had a complete agreement before submitting it to the court for a judge's rubber stamp. That way, there were no surprises. A lot of couples (this one sounds like one) who can't seem to prevent making their separation and divorce a huge, expensive, hurtful (especially to the children), battleground. It's just so sad to me. They loved each other enough to produce those children, but not enough to protect their children through this change and parent those children cooperatively. All she's worried about is money?? Sad.

Possibly. It depends on several factors such as length of marriage, earning potential, age, health, etc. It basically comes down to whether or not one party has been economically dependent on the other for a great length of time. The fact that he makes money off the books can go against her just as much as it can go against him if it looks like she knew about it and didn't have a problem with it until she decided to get a divorce.

She really needs to bring this up with her attorney.

Unlikely that she will pay him alimony-but she might have to get a forensic accountant to figure out his real income-not just what he reports-he sound like a jerk-if they have any joint accounts-she should drain them immediately-

This is a question that only an attorney can answer. There are many factors to be considered and each court handles similar situations in their own way.

I would say that if they decide to agree on everything they can before they go to court it would certainly be easier.

The judge should weigh all things and make sure neither spouse is suffering from lack of income and out on the streets.

If she can find proof he is skimming his income she should make sure her attorney gets all the copies plus making sure the IRS knows is something they should do after the court hearings.

This isn't a very good question for the internet. :-) It's a "dang, girl, get a lawyer quick" question.

Yes, I believe she will have to pay.

I know someone who was in the same position your friend is in, it was very unfortunate.

It worked to her benefit when they were married and the money he made was "off the books." Now, it will work against her. She should have insisted that he reported all he made when they were together...she'd benefit from being more honest now.