Divorce and Who Gets the House

Whose name is on the title. If both of you own it then it will need to be split, meaning one will buy the other out or it must be sold and the profits shared. That is unless some other deal is struck between the two of you.

Hi P.,
I have never been married, therefore never divorced, but I was a Financial Advisor and helped several women through the financial aspects of their divorces. Many times women are so desperate to get out, they are willing to forgo financial settlement that would be in their favor. I think WI is a community property state so everything, yours and his that was earned, saved, purchased, owed during the marriage is 50/50. This includes retirement accounts, homes, cars, pleasure vehicles in only one name, furniture, dishes, stock options, etc. I had a client whose husband wanted to keep the house so he offered to buy her out with stock options. She thought that was agreeable, without understanding the tax implications. If she sold the options after the divorce was final she would get stuck with all the taxes. I advised that he sell them while they were still "married" and the tax implications would be shared jointly and he could pay her with the cash from the stock options.

Also, if you are using a mediator, in lieu of an attorney, make sure they fully understand your household assets, tax laws and financial situation. I also had a client who owned a $2MM cruise ship with her husband. She was so eager to get out that she gave her ex two years to sell the ship, in the meantime, he made a living off of it and she did not get interest on her "loan" or a portion of the income because the mediator was not financially savvy. She was living at poverty level, because she did not have a career outside the home during her 25 year marriage and could not get a better job.

I'm sorry that you are going through this. I hope it all goes smoothly.
S.

.

The more you and your husband can agree upon now, the less the divorce lawyers will have to be paid.

Each time you have to contact an attorney it can cost money because they charge by the hour and that breaks down into minutes..

It is like everything else, write down what you want. Think about the options, put them in order of what you are willing to consider and then sit down and start from there.

Keep in mind. This is ALL about your children.Make your choices based on what will work best for them. It is worth it because this can be the most traumatic event in their childhood or it can be a way for them to learn how to handle changes.

I am sending you strength and peace.

Paula is correct. Neither of you do not have to leave your house at all unless the two of you agree upon it or a judge tells you otherwise. It might be a bit strained, but you don't have to do anything the other tells you to do.

Typically speaking, the court will agree to anything you both agree to. If you can't agree, then they split everything 50/50 or as close to that as they can reasonably contrive to get. It takes a long time for a divorce settlement, and generally speaking, until then, no one can be forced to move. Though they can make your life painfully unpleasant just by being terminally pissed off.

Many people find they can't really afford to keep the house as part of their financial reconciliation after a marriage, and both parties sell and split the profits. It depends a lot on how much money each party makes, what the house costs and such. If the mortgage is so high that it can't be reasonably paid on a sane amount of alimony and child support, you might both need to move.

Basically the courts assume that the amounts you make have to now cover two complete households and all amounts for alimony and child support are based on that assumption. So no one necessarily gets the house if doing so prevents the other party from keeping his own household set up as well. They assume you both need to scale back in those circumstance.

But on average it takes several months to work through a divorce that's friendly. One that isn't can take years. It's not like you won't have any warning that you will need to change things.

P.,

I am sorry to hear you are going through a divorce. Having been through one and being a divorce lawyer myself, I can empathize.

I cannot stress to you enough how important it is to have a lawyer help you with these matters. The lawyer becomes even more important if children are involved.

A short answer to your question is that simply filing for divorce doesn't force either one of you out of the house. Both can stay (if willing) until an order is entered saying otherwise. You and he can come to an agreement (which is how most cases end), or you can have a trial and the judge will decide who gets what. With that being said, I again stress the importance of having an attorney represent you in either a settlement agreement or a trial.

I know lawyers fees seem expensive now, and most are, (especially the good ones=), but you don't want to regret not getting one.

- Best wishes to you.....

You work it out between yourselves, or the judge will do it. If you want the house, you stay until a judge tells you otherwise.
There is also mediation if you have trouble working it out. They will help you come to a compromise. A judge will just decide and then you have to live with it.

DON'T leave the house! Most states consider that abandonment of property and you may no longer be entitlied to any of it. Talk with your attorney first.

Neither of you *have* to leave, until it is ordered.

In the States I'm familiar with (community property, no-fault divorce states)... the marital assets are divided as 50/50 as possible... including income.

So, for ex) I would get the house free and clear AND x,y,z... because DH's income is so much greater than mine. Of course, I couldn't afford to KEEP the house, but that's another matter. If we decided that HE would keep the house, he'd have to make up about 450k onto "my side" (isn't it ridiculous that a 2b/1b starter house/fixer'upper costs half a mil these days? sheesh). AKA he'd have to either make a VERY large cash settlement, or pay me a rather ridiculous sum of money each month. My girlfriend, however, when she split with her husband... they were each awarded essentially 1/2 the house, in large part because they made about the same amount of money, each had an equitable car, equitable "schtuff" etc. (If he had a car worth 10x her car the cars wouldn't be =... the amount of money has to equalize somehow). They had the choice of selling the house, buying the other out and keeping it, or both continuing to pay for it.

Divorce is all about logistics. Money, mostly... if there are no kids involved. If kids, then money & time. So....

lawyerlawyerlawyerlawyerlawyerlawyerlawyer...

And yes... a good lawyer will explain how to keep THEIR fees down (from how to give them paperwork already tabbed the way they need it, to seeing a mediator instead of going to court, etc.)

Usually divorce attorneys write up a petition and you go back and forth a bit until you come to an agreement and take it before the judge. It sounds like you need to read more about other cases so you have an idea of other activities of divorce.