Dinner - Greenville,PA

They eat what is in front of them or go hungry. After a day or two they are happy to eat what is prepared.

I was the mean mom.

I'm with Malia B

My kids have to eat their food or they don't get anything for the rest of the night.

Guess what? At my house, PB&J wasn't an option.... the kids ate what I fixed for dinner, or they did not eat until the next meal!

I wasn't fixing anything really nasty, or disgusting..... but I wasn't running a restaurant, where THEY got to determine what they ate.....

There were a few things I didn't make them eat.... like sauerkraut.. but oddly enough, they all love it!

It wasn't a battle over eating, that was just how it was.

Ya know what? All of my kids are adventurous eaters... and one just finished culinary school, and is looking forward to a career as a chef!

My daughter's preschool had a saying that I love: Ya git wha cha git, and ya don't throw a fit. Cracks me up because this is at a school that is all about the celebration of the individual and choice, but there are times when the aforementioned is worth reciting.

As a heads up...

- I learned to live on 1 meal a day... Or simply didn't eat for several days in a row if my mum pitched a major fit about having to eat what she'd fixed. I was a competitive athlete at the time. Suffered quite a but of bone & joint damage due to "female athlete triad" which is a form of anorexia where your body was starving during hard work that creates none & joint defects like osteoporosis. Which I had by middleschool.

- One of my sisters went the other way. She never knew when she was going to get something she didn't like, and she saw me going meal after meal without food, and gorged at every meal she could.

My entire family (close, tightknit, my mum is one of my best friends) is a MESS of eating disorders.

My mum chose to make food a battle. So almost every night? We waged war. Opening salvo
"What's for dinner?"
"Food!"
Uh-oh. That means something disgusting.

My mum fixed food SHE liked (she never made food she hated, although there's a lot age won't eat), and if WE didn't, it was an insult. Her way or the highway.

I didn't want that life for my son.

To me, mealtimes should be about coming together.

So we have a sandwich RULE.

If you don't like it, you're free to make a sandwich. Always. Then EVERYONE is happy, everyone is fed. Everyone is together. No battles. No wars. No sobbing or screaming mother, no hungry/hurt/angry kids.

OmNomNom.

Now... I worked in a restaurant in HS (and later, whenever I need work its my fallback). I CAN cook multiple meals quite quickly. And often do.

Ex 1 twist ) Butter noodles, caccio el pepe, pesto, arrabiatta, bolo&alfredo. Takes next to no time whatsoever to sauce differently.

Ex 2 freeze) Tamales, gyoza, pork&plantains, pancakes. Gumbo stuffed peppers, etc. these are things I make in bulk ahead of time & freeze. All they require is heating. They can even all go in the same baking dish in the oven!! Or things that cook fast go in later after the slower ones. There is NO work in these. I ask. Load up baking dish. Open oven. Slide in. Walk away.

Ex 3 sub protein) I have a lot of pre cooked meats. Sausage, chicken, beef, pork, bacon, etc. If someone wants a steak salad, and someone wants a chicken salad... It takes the same Amt of time to make. Someone wants the satay chicken with their marinara (yuck!) I can cheerfully have fennel sausage in mine.

HOWEVER

I also often "slave over a hot stove".

If alive just spent 5 hours making soup, bricked a chicken & Greek potatoes, slow cooked pulled pork, WHATEVER... That's "the meal" being served.

At which point *I* will be eating it, and anyone who wanted light instead of heavy, or rib sticking instead if light, or hot/ cold/ spicy/ sweet/ sour/ etc... Can make a Sammie, but I'm NOT cooking again. Finis. I'm done.

Except for the couple of times that Ive cooked something yucky. Then *I* eat a Sammie, too.

Sigh. One time, not even the DOG would eat the cooking experiment gone horribly wrong. I'll never live that one down.

___________

Ya may worry I've created a picky, rude, disrespectful kid. Nope.

- He eats "gross" things at friend's houses (I knew I could have a Sammie when I can home, mom") with glowing reports (and even recipes "He asked me to pass this on to you" ... "So you never make it, mom. Ever.").

- When were totally broke and literku DONT have any other options, he eats without complaint. OR makes jokes, still eating the yucky _______ (Great job, mum! You made this less disgusting than I thought _____ ever could be. Or This is probably the least terrifying_______ Ive ever seen. Still melts the tongue a bit, though! OR comes up with menu ideas ;Tuna and salsa would be the grossest. So lets use the salsa in...

I don't allow complaints at the table. In fact, you complain, you are excused. My 5 year no longer complains.

I also make sure there is something everyone likes included in the meal, even if its only bread. I tell them to push to the side anything they don't like.

When my kids were elementary aged, we all sat down and I gave everyone - the kids, Dh and myself, five index cards each. We each wrote down five favorite meals. I made one of each person's favorites every week.
Another thing I'm a fan of is a lot of sides. With younger kids like yours, if someone doesn't care for the chicken, the fish or the meat, they can make a meal of brown rice, cheese cubes, cucumber slices, berries and bread with butter. Let them take what they want, and don't comment on it or beg them to try just one bite.
If you let them have the option of PB&J, they will take advantage of the option. If you don't want them asking for it, don't make it available. Let them know they can eat as much or as little of dinner as they wish, but that they won't be having any snacks/dessert after - and don't allow snacks for a few hours before dinner, so they'll be good and hungry when they come to the table.

Made one meal only. Take it or leave it. Sometimes I asked them all to discuss and was happy to make what they agreed on. Every now and then I made what they each wanted as a treat.

At our home my husband sits down with the kids and they plan out our weekly dinner menu. Then I make it all come together on time every night...sometimes the kids help me make it.

I tell them they are not allowed to grumble about what I make. They can pleasantly asked to make their own sandwich or get a bowl of cereal(which is NOT colorful or sugary). They rarely do this. I know there are some things that I have a hard time stomaching on certain days...so I don't mind them occasionally opting for their own plan B. But I don't make it for them.

I've started to simplify my meals, as I found out that I was overthinking them after my babysitter made some rice and chicken one day, and they all ate it.

One thing that was a big hit for us last week: zucchini quesedillas. I didn't put black beans in the kids', as I wanted them to actually give it a chance. I put it in mine. Everyone loved it. My oldest ate 3/4 of his and then noticed a green speck (shredded zucchini) on his plate. He said, "Is that zucchini? I HATE zucchini!" and then he happily downed his final piece ;-)

Quinoa, ground turkey and taco seasoning - with melted cheese and sour cream on top - another big hit.

Spiral pasta with pesto and ground turkey - there are never leftovers

Mac & cheese and cut up hot dogs (I do Annie's organic mac & cheese and Oscar Mayer all natural turkey hot dogs).

ETA: I also have total miss nights. For those nights I let them eat almond butter (no jelly) sandwiches, and have an apple or a banana.

Yeah, really common. I don't allow alternative meals. You can eat what's on the table, or not. I'm not going to argue about it (I sometimes see pouty faces, but they know they can't complain). And no snacks until the healthy bedtime snack several hours later.

That said, like someone else, I try to always have at least 1 thing on the table that each person will like. If you don't like the seasoning on the chicken you can fill up on veggies or mashed potatoes.

The most loved thing at our house is taco night. I make all the stuff to put in them and set it out in small bowls, then everyone picks and chooses what fillings they want so they get their taco their way. Everyone always eats well with NO pouting on taco night.

We are a family of five and it's a rare night when everyone is happy with what's for dinner.
My motto has always been, if you don't like what I make, that's fine, but if you want something else YOU make it and YOU clean it up (that goes for the husband too.) My kids were able to make themselves a sandwich, a bowl of cereal, a plate of leftovers, etc. before they started kindergarten.
Make dinner, and enjoy. Let them fend for themselves if they don't like it. Keep a bowl of fresh fruit on the table and offer that to them when they're hungry. They're not going to starve, I promise :-)
p.s. and don't waste your food, eat it for lunch and/or freeze it!
ETA: involving them in the cooking process helps too so also do that if you can.

We make one meal. I include (almost always) a main course and at least one vegetable. Often there is also a grain. If DS doesn't like something he can eat more of the other courses and dessert if we are having it (fruit). That's it. We have never offered a choice of other foods so he hasn't asked. I believe he has gone to bed hungry once in his 7 years. He then ate leftovers from that dinner (he specifically requested them so must have had some other reason for not eating dinner) for lunch for two days.

Pb&j won't hurt them. If one of mine doesn't like what we are having they are welcome to make their own pb&j. I try to always make something that everyone will eat, but sometimes it doesn't work out.

Oh, so common, especially when one allows others to opt out. My son-in-law is always making something different for one kid or the other. My suggestion to him and to you is that you fix one meal and there is no opting out. Include everyone in making plans from time to time but overall it's your decisions since you're the one cooking.

I agree with making a pbj a choice when it's used once in awhile but it sounds like your family is abusing the privilege. Either take away the option or limit it's use. Say twice a month per person.

And.....whining/complaining will not be tolerated. Talk ahead of time about the new rules for meals. You'll remind them once to stop if they start complaining but after that it's to their room until dinner is over. Perhaps they can eat in their room or they can come out and eat after everyone is done. This is a natural consequence for not being good company.

No snacks or desert if one has not finished their meal. I suggest that kids will not let themselves be hungry for long if you can be firm and consistent.

you have to stand firm & prepare only one meal. Everybody eats some of ALL of it. End of subject.

No snacks, no filling up on drinks.

& allow all of the kids to participate in the preparation of the meal. By allowing this sense of community + autonomy, you are creating an ideal sitution where the kids get to pick one food item each. Makes life so much easier!

Once you go down the road of making something for one person who doesnt like to eat you are going to be stuck on it! Dont do it!!! Kids wont starve! They will eat when they are hungry. If they wont eat then they dont eat. Its not a big deal. They will learn that when dinner is served you have to eat!!

I know that can be very frustrating. I don't like giving two meals so something I started with my daughter and husband (who has become pickier about what he eatd over the last few years) is I give them 6-8 recipe options each week and ask them to pick 3-4. This tactic has helped immensely. I alsobtrycahd ket mu daughter help with the meal as much as possible. She likes to try all if the ingredients, except raw meat if course, as we go so by the time we get to dinner she knows that she will like it.
I also will only give my daughter something different to eat if she has really tried the dish (taking at least 5 bites) and doesn't like it. Good luck.

If your children are hungry, they WILL eat. NO PB&J for dinner. Put what you cook for the entire family (in small portions for the kids) with a small glass of milk or water (NO juice). If they finish their meals, they get dessert. If they don't, cover their plates and next night...guess what? LEFTOVERS. I promise they will get the big picture and get it in a short time.

Solutions:

1) tell them to cook. Let them.
2) My kids are 6 and 10 and they can cook or make their own food. My 10 year old daughter is good at making crepes. From scratch. My 6 year old son is good at making eggs or sandwiches.
3) have breakfast for dinner
4) Tell THEM... to make the weekly dinner menu. Or, simply... ask... them... for ideas... for the weekly dinner menu, that you have to plan and make your grocery list from.
When *I* am clueless about what to cook for the week because I am too brain dead or too tired of cooking what I usually cook... I simply ask my kids... for ideas or what they want. And before I know it, I have a whole week's menu made out.

5) I cook what I cook, but I also ask my kids/Husband for ideas too. But mostly they eat what I cook. Even if we all have varying palates.

Tell your kids if they are SO PICKY... they, can, cook.
Or, tell your HUSBAND... to cook.
Sometimes I don't know what to cook, and my Husband will cook up something.

6) And if your kids do not know how to cook... teach... them.
I began teaching my kids since they were 3 years old.
My daughter, who is 10, her classmate doesn't even know how to work a microwave.

Well, they won't allow themselves to starve. They are 6 and 9. If they don't like what you make, they can prepare their own peanut butter sandwich. Make one thing, and they can make a sandwich or not eat. Trust me, they won't be starving anytime soon!!! That's what I would do, at least.

Why don't you let the kids help you make up the menu and make sure every meal has at least one thing that each person likes.

I get soooooo tired of having to figure out what to make for dinner. My clan know they are lucky that I cook, so they don't complain!

Do they really have NO common enjoyments? None? Does it just depend on how it's prepared? Potatoes are pretty easy in my house, so I've made them a staple.

Get the kids involved in preparing the meals. Maybe if they pick it out in the store/market/garden and help to season and cook it, they will feel invested enough to eat it. Maybe they can even compete at preparing the best meal. and share prizes.