Did You Live with Your Husband Before Marriage?

No I did not live with my husband before getting married. We also didnt have sex until we were married. Weve been married for 5 years now and are very much head over heels in love.

No. We did not for religious beliefs. We were brought up in the same religion and understood the reasons behind why it was taught not to live with one another before marriage. It worked for us, we are very happy, we've been married 10 years and I have the most amazing partner and best friend for life.

I met my husband online in 1990, met him in person in Jan of 1991, moved from Ohio to CA to live with him (with the plan to eventually get married) in Apr of 1991, Found out I was pregnant in Sept of 92, Got married the following Friday. And as of this coming April it will be 21 years we've been living together.

I sometimes think that had we just lived together a while longer we probably wouldn't have gotten married. But we did and we're still married and will be celebrating 20 years of marriage on September 18.

We've had LOTS of ups and downs, many of them made 100 times worse by the military lifestyle (and/or the OTHER people in the military we've had to deal with), but no one is dead yet so we're doing ok I think :)

Oh and per my great grandmother (who passed away at the age of 90 in 1990) "You wouldn't buy a car without a test drive, why would you get a husband without one?" ... I still miss that feisty woman :)

No we didnt... and we waited till our honeymoon to be intimate too :)

Yes... for about 4 years.

They were really, really good years. You know how people say "a piece of paper doesn't change anything"?

In our case, it changed everything.

For the worse.

:P

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No, we didn't. Our reasoning did have everything to do with our beliefs. I didn't need to live with him to know we had the same goals, and dreams. They were things we talked about at length (not saying you didn't!) and we always came to the same conclusions. We were very frank with our expectations, ideas, thoughts, etc...before we got married. We didn't have a rough transition to being married and living together. That part has always been really easy. We've been married for an awesome 6 years. I'm really thankful.

Nope. Circumstances didn't dictate it and I wouldn't have any way. I LOVED my independence!
I probably would have still married him, but I would have bought the snore mouth guard a whole lot earlier! LOL

Yes, we bought a house together. Got married a year later, had baby #1 a year after that. Course, he wasn't an abusive drunk then, that came 15 years later.

:(

No we didn't live together, not necessarily for religious reasons but because we weren't married and that's not what "you" do. We also didn't have sex before we were married. And yes, I definitely would marry him again! He cleans the bathroom!

Nope, we didnt live together before being married. I was still living at home (18yrs old) when we met, and he was in the Air Force stationed 250 miles away. We saw eachother on weekends when he could drive to where I lived. Once we knew we were going to get married I got my own apartment. I had always wanted to have my own place and didnt want to go from M. and dad to a husband and never know who really made all the messes. lol.. So for 9 months or so I had my own little place and then got married and moved to where he was stationed. I knew the night I met him that we would get married. It took him a couple weeks to figure it out. We have been married 38 years now. I still really like him too!

No. Even if we had wanted too, my husband would have been too afraid of his mother's reaction. Not to say we were sinless. When she came to visit, without telling me, he put his box of condoms in the back floor board of my car. I don't know how long there were there. But they were there when I picked up the ladies in my Bible study. No one ever said a word and never brought it up to them.

No, and I can guarantee that if we did we never would have gotten married! I lived with boyfriend's before and ultimately never worked out so I didn't want to live with him, I guess I was afraid I'd never get married to anyone if I lived with them first. I will tell my kids to ask all the questions I never did, have the conversations I was too afraid to have rather than suggest they live with them first. Not that I have anything against it...

We pretty much always lived together. Started dating at the end of high school...initially went to seperate colleges for a year...then I transferred into his college and we pretty much lived together in the dorm since my roommate turned into a freak show and moved out half way through the year - my hubby moved in. We lived together for almost 6 years before we got married (married at 24!) and no regrets. If anything it was better since we learned to live with each other prior to really learning to live on our own - it was a nice little learning curve.

No, but we had a lot of communication before marrying. I'm really glad we decided to save living together for after the wedding, but I know it's different for everyone.

No I did not. Although we starting "dating" if that is what you call it, at 15, so by the time he bought his first house at 21, I was still living at home. We are the same age BTW. Anyway, I went over to his house a lot and we cooked dinner and spent the evening doing house stuff or yard work, then i went home. We married after 8 years of dating. I don't really think it's a good idea to live with someone before you marry. But i'd marry him again!! He is a wonderful husband and father and provider.

Nope, my dad would have killed me! :) Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free is something my grandmother said over and over!!!

I did not and do not believe in living together before marriage. I think it is wrong. BUT that is me. I don't have a problem with anyone who does, its just not for me.

That first year was tough. Our expectations were different. Someone has to clean the toilet why does it have to be me syndrome! After 25 years of marriage, I think I have finally got him trained! :)

We did live together for about a year and a half prior to getting married. (It's outrageously expensive to maintain one household in San Francisco, let alone two!) It worked out great for us. We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary last week!

Yes, we were engaged and lived together for 6 months before we got married. We have been married for 13 years now.

i did, also mostly because of circumstances. turns out it was the best choice i ever made :)

i'm not sure how i feel about the subject from a religious or moral perspective, and i'm normally a pretty spiritual and moral person.

but #1, i truly believe if we hadn't lived together first i would have had some SERIOUS culture shock when we did get married and moved in! and society tells us already that marriage is supposed to be this blissful fairy tale- why set yourself up for MORE shocking reality? so moving in first is practical in that aspect.

also because, and i don't know how to say this without being cheesy - both my husband and i felt we were "The One" for each other, very quickly. within a few months we really were in the "committed" mindset. so to me i think my perspective is skewed, because i just always felt we'd be together forever. i already felt married, in a way, ya know? i know that sounds weird...lol

it worked for us. that's all i know! :) (and nope, the piece of paper didn't change a thing...) we've been together for 10 1/2 years, married for 7.

ive been living with my boyfriend for the past 4 years .. im 4 months pregnant and just got engaged.. but i can tell u that if we didnt live together got married and then moved in there probably woulda been a massive amount of fighting.. now i know all his habits and what its like living with him so now that were engaged theres no surprises.. well other thant the baby lol

Yep. Cheaper than maintaining two households. Married about a 1 1/2 yrs after moving in together. Still together almost 18yrs and 3 kids later.

Yes, we did live together. We met in early 2000, moved in together nine months later, and got married in June 2004. We have been happily married for almost 8 years.

I would never have considered getting married to someone with whom I had never lived.

We got engaged in August after dating for almost 2 years. Then we moved in together in November, and got married in March. That was almost 18 years ago. We're very happily married. I wouldn't have moved in with him if we weren't getting married a few months later, but I don't fault others who do things differently.

No, for religious reasons, but we fornicated so that makes us hypocrites;0).

Four months - we were engaged and found the right house a few months before our wedding. It would have been stupid (and financially impossible) for us to have had him continue to pay rent on his place until the wedding. We were already each single parents, so it wasn't like we had this facade of purity to maintain.

We did not live together.

We have different ideas of when chores need to be done, but we haven't maimed each other over it in 8.5 years. :) We spent enough time in each other's home and company to know what we were getting into.

No, didn't even sleep with him. It reinforced his strength of character to me as well as knowing that he would/could wait years for something worthwhile without rationalizing a reason to give in. We have always saved up for the big purchases and don't buy on a whim, for example.

Are you asking if I would have still married him after we got married and saw what he was like to live with? Well, yes, of course, since I saw the kind of man he was in several years of dating. The things I learned by living with him are so inconsequential. The reasons to marry someone are the things you learn about his character not the way he lives at home. If you find someone of good character, bad habits can change (as long as I am willing to change mine, too).

I did not live with my first husband before marriage (we got married just after college). We were divorced by our 1st anniversary. Had I lived with him I would have realized it was not going to work before we got married, and I would NOT have married him.

With my second, and current, husband we lived together for 3 years first and are very happy and committed. We knew we'd mesh before taking the big leap.

You have to be clear about what you want - to get married if that's what it is - and be ready to move on if the other person seems to be stringing you along.

Nope, he had two young girls and I thought it wouldn't be a good idea to live together full time, but we did spend weekends together so it gave us enough of an idea to know what we were getting into. Plus we talked about our ideas for the future alot, on topics ranging from bills, child rearing, chores, etc.

We had a 14 month old with us when we got married. We went from dating, to pregnant, to engaged, to a baby, to married and another two babies in the next 3 years.

No. We were both 26 when we married. We bought our house 11 months before our wedding and didn't live together until after we came back from our honeymoon. My father was very old school and at the time told me and my 2 sisters that we left his house married or in a box. I chose a wonderful husband (we'll be married 20 years this anniversary). My 2 sisters, unfortunately, didn't choose wisely and I think they married just to get out of the house somewhat.

Regardless, I wouldn't have lived with my husband before marriage. I'm old fashioned in that respect.

Yes. We lived together for just over a year before getting engaged and then it was another almost 2 years after that that we got married. I'm glad we did it and it gave me an idea of what I was potentially getting into if we did get married. I had never lived with another boyfriend before that. When I moved in with him I was 28 years old, had been out of college and working in my chosen my career for 4 years, was financially independent, and was living out of state from my parents. Nobody was telling me what I could and could not do! I don't think my parents were particularly happy about it but they knew they couldn't say anything about it either. We have been married almost 8 years now. My grandmother is now 95 and she still thinks living together first before getting married is the smart thing to do!

Yes, we lived together for a year before we married -or even got engaged. I had decided I wouldn't marry anyone I had not lived with before.

I did. We met in October, moved in at the end of December, married in August. And this year will be 6 years married.

If I didn't, I would have moved back home with my family after college, which is a 4 hour drive, so I probably wouldn't still have married him, just because long distance relationships don't work out for me.

Yes, I did!

For a LONG time!

We learned everything there is to know about each other and built up a strong foundation of friendship and love before ever entertaining the idea of kids and marriage...well, he proposed early on and I said yes, just give us some time.

We were together for 8 years before we added kids...best decision I ever made...it really gave us time to be 'us' !

15+ years and counting!

Yes...we lived together for over a year. We were 20, my dad owned a rental property and said if we fixed it up, we could have it (needed a LOT of work). We had been saving to buy a house anyway, so we had money put away for repairs. Plus, some family members had been having some marital issues and my parent's were supportive of us living together so we KNEW we would be able to be a married couple.

Now, almost 20 yrs later, we are still together....and yes, the beginning was TOUGH! I think it's a good idea to live together first, for exactly the reason you stated...good for you for making it work!

We sure did. It was probably a year or so that we lived together before we were engaged. It was a hard year and it did force many important conversations/arguments which tested our relationship. In the end, we learned a lot about each other and knew before we took our vows that we were not only ready, but happy to commit our lives to each other. It has been a really wonderful (gasp!) 5 years. Wow! It truly goes so fast. :)

If I had lived with my ex-husband before I married him? I would have NEVER married him - he was a slob.

I lived with Bob before I married him...I wouldn't have married him if his habits (with the exception of liking to keep stuff!!) hadn't mirrored or been very close to mine.

ETA: We were engaged to be married with a wedding date when we bought this home.

No, we didn't live together--we actually lived 140 miles away from each other until 2 days before we got married. He moved into our new apt the day of our bachelor/ette party and we started living together during our honeymoon.

I did get to see plenty of his way of living though, so I pretty much knew what I was in for--a lot of HAIR on the floor! Middle Eastern man ;-)

We lived together the year we were engaged up to the wedding. It was a very tough year, learning to adjust (even though in college we cohabitated about 80% of the time). But, all the kinks were worked out by marriage and have had a great marriage. I intend to highly recommend it to my children. Like someone else said - you test the car before you buy it.

No I didn't, and I would definitely still have married him! :)

Yes - for 3 years. We'll be married 15 yrs this September. In my opinion, you'd be crazy not to take your man for a test drive. Work those kinks out before you're stuck with him forever!

I lived with him for 22 years before we got married. There was really no good reason we finally did get married - it was just logistically easier since we had a child. We already owned a home and business together and our families were long past the 'living in sin' business. I never would have married him (or anyone) without living together first. Other than the greater ease of introductions (significant other is just a bit awkward), I don't notice a difference.

Yes I did live with my husband before marriage and I really don't believe I am any less religious then many people who wait until they are married and then get divorce later on. For me it was more about wanting to be sure he was the right one. I watched my parents and sister go through a divorce and it was something I never wanted to have to go through. We have been happily married (mostly) for almost 23 years.

well, of course!
khairete
S.

Yes for about a year, I only have myself to blame.

:^P

No I did not live with him. We are a great match even 12 yrs later.

We lived together for 2 years before we got married. We are pretty easygoing, so it really wouldn't have mattered either way.

Yes. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I moved in with him the day I told him because, as he put it, "You are NOT living with your mother while pregnant with my baby!" I was only living at home temporarily anyway, and was about to get my own place. We got married 2 years later. We've been together for 18 years, and I never would have married ANYONE without living with them first.

we lived for a week together. i would have still married him. thank god he is a clean freak. :)

Yes, we lived together for about 1 month prior to marriage.

Yes we lived together for about six year prior to marriage and were together about five years prior to that.

Nope. I had my own apartment and he lived in a house with a roommate. We dated 7 years before getting married and will be married for 10 years in July.
Yes, I would marry him all over again!! Anyday!!!

My husband and I lived together 7 years before getting married...we moved to Alaska together after dating a year and we could not afford to live separately. Plus we wanted to live together - he is my best friend! We honestly just thought of ourselves as married. We were totally committed to each other. Then we got married after he was done w his PhD and it has been another 12 years of marriage. We are a great match and still adore each other!

Yes. For three years.

No, but we dated for four and a half years before getting married, so I knew what I was getting into. We've been married going on twelve years, and we have great friendship and love that have endured a lot of hardships (not the least of which has been raising four children with a double genetic dose of stubbornness). We are closer now than ever, although we don't have a whole lot in common (in terms of hobbies, interests, etc.). Our priorities and long term goals are the same, though, and I think that makes all the difference in weathering the roller coaster of life intact.

Yes. In an apartment for about 6 months, then in a home we bought together for a year before we got married.

Still perfect for each other - 8 1/2 years into it.

we lived together for 3 months before we got married.

We only dated/ knew each other for 9 months before we got married. 5 years later we are still going stronger than ever!

I would have probally taken longer to marry him if we didn't live together, but with watching him with my kids while living together he fit so well with our family I was positive about my choice on marrying him.

Yes, ma'am, I did. We didn't officially have OUR place, though, until right before we got engaged. We maintained separate residences, but he had cable at his place, so....

I probably would not have married otherwise because I needed to try out the "lifestyle". Actually, I would have lived with him without that piece of paper.

Yes. We did. But it wasn't intentional, lol. I knew I was going to marry him. He was going to ask but wanted to be "checked out" in his job before putting more pressure on himself at that moment in time (checked out = fully certified in his profession--Air Traffic Control). We only "shacked up" for about 5 months before he got his check ride, and then he asked me to get married. We were married about 3 months later. :)

Not one of the proudest moments in my history----having to tell our kids, lol. The only habit that surfaced that sometimes bothers me now is that he is always leaving cabinet doors open. Did that then, too. He also did laundry back then. Still does. :)
Anything else---meh.... we were so much in the "honeymoon phase" for that 5 months.... Neither of us ever lived with a previous g/f or b/f and had never considered it with anyone else, either.
Match made in heaven, us two. ;)

Not for long but maybe if I had for longer I wouldn't have ;)

My husband and I dated for two years and lived together for two more before we got married almost 12 years ago. We both knew we had the same value system, but living together made that rubber meet the road.

I'm also the product of parents who have a collective five marriages/three divorces. My goal was to make absolutely, positively sure that my partner would be a lifer or I wouldn't commit at all. So, I don't think I'd marry anyone - not just my husband- unless we lived together first.

yep. we started dating in april 2007, moved in with eachother in july 2007, were engaged in march 2008, married in june 2008, and had our first child 9 months later. been married almost 4 years and we now have 3 sons. our oldest will be 3 years old next month and the twins are almost 15 months old. I wouldn't change a thing, you never know how things would turn out you know. I only moved in with him so soon because of circumstances, it was either that or have to move 600 miles away back to my parents. so glad I stayed!!!

Yep, we lived together while we were in college for about 1.5 years before we got married. Our deal was that we both had to graduate before we got married. We moved in together because it was the most practical decision for both of us at the time. I loved living with him..I still do. He's so easy to live with, and things have only gotten better. :)

We met in the fall of 2002 and lived 650 miles apart. May of 2003 we were engaged, July 2003 I moved into his house with him. Two days later we were "common law" married so that I could have health insurance. Bought our first house April 2004 big wedding and what we call our anniversary date Sept 2004...baby May of 2005!

So technically no we did not "live" together before our common law. But we don't celebrate that date so sort of lived together before marriage.

Even after I moved and common law married him I had no reservations about our living arrangement. I would have lived with him without the common law.

Our next house we will have separate bathrooms once again...this sharing a bathroom with him drives me nuts.

Yep. He moved 2000 miles to be with me. We were engaged 5 months later. Wed 9 months later. First baby 6 YEARS later.

Wouldn't want it any other way. I call those days the Training Days. He had to learn that I wasn't his mama and I could walk if things didn't go the right way. :)

Well yes, but no. Not "technically." He had an apartment when we first dated. But I wanted him to stay over at my house which he did. Then his lease was up so he bought a trailer to keep at his property. But again, I wanted him to stay the night. So his parents and my parents knew we were close, but I don't think technically they knew that he was there every single day and night. They probably figured he stayed over a few times b/c who wants to live in a tiny little trailer? (the kitchen table converted to the bed). We started dating in December and by August, we were married, so we only lived together a few months.

Yes, we lived together for 4 years before getting married. Within those 4 years he moved into the apartment I had...then we bought a house 6 months before getting engaged. It made sense for us, it worked and I wouldn't change any of it.

Yes, for just over 2 yrs. Honestly, I can't imagine NOT living with someone before marriage - how the heck else do you know what you're in for :)

He would have liked to have lived together after we were only dating 5 or 6 months, but I told him no. I had lived with a guy at the end of college and it was a disaster. I didn't like sharing my life in that way without a real commitment. When we broke up and he moved out, it was devastating - even though it wasn't a good relationship and I knew it. I decided at that point I was not going to share my life like that again until I met "the one" - my husband.
Saying "yes" to my husband's proposal was the best decision I ever made. :) He is my rock.