Dialysis for Dad

My dad was on dialysis at home for 15 years. He just hooked himself up to the machine and it worked while he slept. It really was not a big deal, and he felt so much better.

Lori,
I am sorry to hear about your dad. I know it is hard when loved ones are sick, but it sounds like you dad needs dialysis. People live many years on dialysis if they follow the dialysis rules, eat the right food, limit fluids, and keep their appointments. Without dialysis his body has no way of getting rid of the toxins. Your dad should feel much better after the dialysis, the longer you keep him from the dialysis the sicker he will become.
Hoping for the best for your dad and family.
-A.

Hello Lori,

I am sorry to hear about your dad's health issues. We have a genetic kidney condition in our family and my mom, who is MUCH younger than your dad is going in for a shunt next week, to prepare for dialysis.
She is also very concerned about the side effects, but many people live a long time with a very reasonable quality of life on dialysis. You should talk to him about going to the dialysis center before he actually starts and look at what happens and if possible meet with a patient support group.

Even though it was probably not the tea that worsened his condition, I want to STRONGLY caution you from trying "alternative drug therapies" without the advice of a renal specialist.
Herbal preparations and/or vitamins CAN negatively impact already damaged kidneys, just as over the counter medications can.
Even if they may not cause further damage to the kidney itself, because the body's ability to rid itself of drugs and metabolic products of some herbs and vitamins is diminished by renal failure, usually harmless substances may build up in kidney patients and cause other organ damage.
Good luck!

What do you have against dialysis? The kidneys filter the blood and when they are failing, poisons build up in the body. No teas are going to do the job that the kidneys do. Try dialysis--you might be pleasantly surprised.

The tea did NOT cause your father's kidneys to become worse. His kidneys have been failing for 9 years. When we're into our 80's in age our body has already begun to fail us. Having one organ fail puts more stress on our other organs and they also begin to fail. There is no way to stop the process or know how long it will be. We reach a point when all we can do is help our parents be as comfortable as is possible for them. I hope the Chinese doctor didn't suggest that the tea would stop the kidney failure or even slow it down.

My friend and her husband faced this 3 or 4 years ago. They decided to not start dialysis because they felt that dialysis was the beginning of the end. And because they waited so long it was. If he'd started earlier he may have felt better longer. But we don't know.

If you're unsure about dialysis talk with the nephrolygist (kidney and liver specialist) or any doctor that you trust. If you're still unsure talk to another doctor. Research dialysis on the Internet. Give your father information if he wants it. Then support your father in whatever he chooses. If you want to know both the positive and aspects of your father being on dialysis tell the doctors that. The doctors I've seen tell us as little or as much as we want to know. They tell just so much and then wait for questions, especially the hard questions. Fortunately, when we know someone is dying we don't have to ask all the questions at once, if we face it early on.

Facing our parent's death is painful. I lost both of mine within 2 weeks of each other 6 or so years ago. Their bodies just wore out. My mother had had 3 open heart surgeries and her heart failed at age 86. Because her heart wasn't able to pump enough blood to her organs, they began to fail years before she died. My father had been confined to bed for several years because of a neurological disorder. His death was also the result of organ failure. Sadly we just can't live forever.

During those years of illness we kids talked often with our parents about dying. How it might happen. How we all felt about it. We cried together. Of special help to me was knowing that both of my parents believed that they would be going to Heaven. We all said that they were going to a better place and be without the sickness and pain they'd been suffering for so long. I think those conversations help me a whole lot. I think experiencing accepting their death I began grieving several years before they died. The process Of accepting that they would die took several years.

The evening of my father's funeral the 4 of us went to a small cafe to eat. We looked at each other and we seemed to all have the idea at the same time that we were now orphans. I had never thought of adults becoming orphans. But I did feel like an orphan for quite awhile. I miss not being able to talk over things with them and to give me advice on small things. we were all glad that we had talked with our parents about their dying. Because we had talked with them about their death I felt that dying was a natural process that I had shared. I felt empowered rather than helpless.

Death is a natural part of living. Rarely does anyone who loves, advises and cares for their parent hasten their death. I believed that we have a time to die after I was in a serious auto accident and escaped with very few injuries. I am helped by my strong faith in a higher Being. "There is a time to sow and a time to reap." I don't remember the rest of the verse. All, including death, happens in it's own time.

Now that I'm older I frequently am aware that I don't have as many years left as I'd always felt that I had. I do not want to die. And I fear the unknown. I am comforted when I remember how peaceful my parents were as they breathed their last breath. They had been afraid just as I am now but in the end they felt peace. And so will I.

My prayers are with you and yours, Lori.

Lori,
It absolutely was not your Chinese herb doctor or tea that made his kidneys falter, and it is not anything you may have been able to control. His body is aging, and it's just worn out. We put a lot of stress on our bodies with just living!

The kidneys are responsible for filtering out impurities and waste from the blood. What is waste goes to the bladder as urine, and what is good blood goes back to the bloodstream. Our bodies use this system every day. Every time you urinate, you are getting rid of the waste, and your bladder waits for more. If the kidneys are not functioning well to filter this, the waste goes back into the bloodstream. And your dad will feel yucky and his body won't work right if his kidneys don't work right and he's operating with waste in his blood.

There are things you can do to help this. Ask his doctor. He may want you to eliminate extra salt or medicines or whatever. Don't take my advice, but ask his nephrologist or go to a dialysis education class if you can find one. If the doctor is recommending dialysis, by all means DO THIS! Your dad will feel much better, and his remaining kidney function will not go downhill as fast, God willing. The dialysis uses a machine that filters the blood and removes waste, since the kidneys are no longer able to do it effectively.

I just discovered my mom was avoiding a visit to the urologist. She has an issue where her body dumps too much potassium into her waste (urine). They don't know why this happens to her, but sometimes kidney issues can cause it to happen. If you don't have enough potassium, all sorts of things start going wrong, including irregular heart rhythm, musculoskeletal problems, etc. So its not affecting only her kidneys, but also her heart and other areas. A urologist may not seem to be able to help an irregular heartbeat - that's not their specialty! But the body is like a finely tuned machine that needs all fluids and nutrients kept in balance. If one component gets off, it can easily affect other components, especially the older the body gets. She's still balking at the urology consultation, but I am trying to encourage her to go.

I know this is all medical-speak and not very comfy-cozy on the feelings you are going through. There's no really great advice for that. Just take care of your dad and give him lots of love, obviously his time will come eventually and you will have to let him go. So enjoy what you have now!

Best to you -
K.

My younger brother is 31 w/ degenerative kidney disease. He's been on dialysis for several years now awaiting a transplant on a waiting list. He did have open heart surgery once already. My brother says most people he knows on dialysis have more fluids that build up but he doesn't have that problem as much. Maybe ask your father if he would mind going to the clinic 3 times a week for 4 hour sessions plus travel and feeling drained a lot. My brother manages being partially blind and still goes to a movie occasionally but he's only 31. How spirited is your father and who will be taking him there and back the 4 hours. My brother brings a laptop to watch dvd's of tv shows and movies. Would your father be content visiting, reading or watching tv? Good luck to you and your family. The dialysis does make my brother feel better and I wanted to offer some personal experience or info. at a minimum. Take care. Laughing together and being silly sometimes helps.

Adreia typed my exact thoughts. Please take him to get the dialysis. He WILL feel better after them.

I would have a talk with your father. Dialysis is a great thing, it adds to quality to a person's life. Yes, it's inconvienent, but life has a tendency to be that way at times. If you're worried about getting him back and forth to treatment, and if you live in the Puget Sound area, there is Access Van transportation available, door to door, for him for his appointments. Herbs are another form of drugs or interventions, they should be used in consultation and collaboration with his dr's. Not saying that you did, but some herbs have an adverse effect with medications and your druggist and the herbalist need to know everything that is going on with your Dad. The doctor should be the 'gatekeeper' on whatever medication or supplements he is taking. Do you want your Dad to have a comfortable, quality of life? Then ask the question of the kidney doctor as to what will happen if dialysis is not done. What is the progression of the disease? Ask your Dad if he wants to be committed to treatment so many hours/days of the week? Committed is like a pig is to a bacon and egg breakfast, not like the chicken. This will be his hindquarters on the platter. With his age, there is a real possibility, heck at any age, that tomorrow won't come for him. That day won't be easy for any of his family. I strongly suggest that you be honest with your 17 yr old about Grandpa's prognosis and age. Start talking with your Dad about final arrangements and advanced directives for his care. It will take some of the pain away at the end.
But this should be your Dad's decision, not your's. Together you can talk with his dr and explore options. But if you decide to go against your dr's advise, don't be surprised if his dr steps back from all his care.

Here is a website that may be able to answer some of your questions about dialysis. http://www.davita.com/ best wishes........

My husband has kidney disease and was on dialysis. He felt much better. But he really felt better after the transplant. Also be cautious as to what you give him orally because it is all processed throught the kidney. You may want to talk to a nutrionalist that deals with kidney disease. You would be amazed at some of the things you should not eat.

Lori:

My mother was having failing health at 90 and I got her on a product called Heartland Select (it's a functional beverage made out of Muscadine grapes) and she's now off all medication and healthy. It helps reduce inflammation and prevents cancer and many other health benefits. It's the highest ORAC score of any natural product on the market. Read the testimonies at www.heartlandselect.net/valeriejolie If you want to try some, I live in Tigard and would love to help your dad feel better.