Depressed Friend, Feeling She's Stuck in an Unhappy Marriage?

I would encourage her to get some professional counseling for herself - she could consider marriage counseling if her husband is willing to go along but if he isn't, she could at least go alone, and maybe she will figure out some solutions to the problems she is having and get some insight into how she can turn things around for herself, one way or the other. It's sad that she thinks she would be better off dying from cancer - my mother just passed away this past summer from complications from leukemia (which did not respond to treatment, and was incredibly difficult to have to watch) and there isn't anything I wouldn't do to have her back. Remind her that her life does have meaning, and she needs to remain strong because her son needs her, and there are many many people who do care about her and want her to get the help she needs.

Not that I think medication solves everything, but along with a professional therapist/counselor, maybe being on antidepressant meds would help. She should also talk to her doctor about why she is feeling the way she is and if there could be something medical (hormones, etc.) to blame.

Maybe you could suggest counceling for your friend. That would let her talk about everything in a safe environment and iron out what is best for her, her son and her family.

All you can do is be there for her though and keep reminding her of how wonderful she is and that you're there for her nomatter what... night or day. :)

I would give her a ton of b vitamins to take daily and get her to consuling. the depression maybe making things seem worse than they really are. Good luck.

Have you suggested she try some counseling? Her only choices aren't necessarily staying in a loveless marriage or divorce. She can choose to work on her marriage and get some counseling.

My pastor always has said that the EASIEST marriage counseling there is is when the parties "don't love each other any more". That is the easiest thing to fix.

Love is an action word, not an emotion. Does she WANT to save her marriage?

Try and get her to try counseling. If she is depressed she may have little motivation to actually do what she needs to get to a therapist's office. You may have to help/remind her do the work of getting the appointment, checking with insurance, etc. But if you offer the make the appointment or go with her to it and sit in the waiting room then at least she will know you are concerned. And she may do it on her own because she knows you are paying attention.

Get her a DVD of The Joy Luck Club.

I am very familiar with what she feels like. I suffered from severe depression for the last 5 yrs. I had been seeing my pcp for the entire 5 yrs nothing worked by oct of this year i was at rock bottom. The dr had me on anti depressants, xanex, ambien for sleep...i cld not sleep. I was taking 2 ambien and two xanex and was still not sleeping. I was miserable life was just passing me by. Everything was falling apart. I didnt even have the motivation to shower, talk to family or friends, i didnt want to go anywhere, awful at the end i was feeling the depression physically. I could not get out of bed. My house was a disaster. I was telling my husband numerous times a day i cant keep going on like this. I told him i needed a psychiatrist. He was unhappy and who wouldnt be i was a walking zombie. I had no expression, i didnt care about anything. We started counseling and she said you are severly depressed and she said once i started feeling it physically suicidal thoughts was the next step. If she would had told me that 2 months before i would say she was crazy...but at that point i could see it i felt that nothing could help me and i was going to be miserable the rest of my life... Counselor recommended a psychiatrist. He took me off all my meds and diagnosed me with a.d.d. I thought he was nuts how was i going to sleep what about my mood swings. Extremely skeptical! But i went home followed his orders and WOW!!! I feel better now than i ever have! I sleep better with no meds than i have slept in years. If your friend is depressed and feels no self worth it doesnt matter if she is a multi millionaire with a full staff she will still be miserable. I recomend teaming up with her sister and keeping very close tabs on her until you can get her to the dr...she can go to a very dark place in a very short time. You and the sister should be very concerned and you need to intervene! You will need to do the leg work for her make the appt pick her up and make her go. Its best to takecher to a psychiatrist because they are specialists, the way it was explained to me was there are 10 chemicals im a womens brain and there are 25 anti depressants on the market, each med targets one chemical and it could take years of trial and error to find the right one. A pcp will use the trial and error method and trust me that method sucks. I wish someone would have suggested a psychiatrist to me years ago, i cant get those years back. Step in and take charge, and dont wait tje sooner the better and i promise she will be grateful when its all said and done. It could save her life. The best of luck!! She is suffering and trust me i wouldnt wish that feeling on my worst enemy! Please keep us updated.

I am also in a similar situation. Please help me. I am stuck in arranged marriage and I can't get out. She doesn't talk to anyone at home. I feel bad for myself and everyone else. I told my folks today that there is no chemistry between us. But they don't even know what chemistry is. They are so backwords. They are forcing me to have a romantic relationship with her. I can't because she's not my type. No one is listening to me at home. They scolded me and went crazy on me for an hour and now I feel like dying. I want to get out of my house asap. Please help. I need a job or something.