Demanding 1 Y/o

Mine still does this at 2 yrs, it's tough. I have to say though having my daughter go to parks and playdates has improved her clinginess. The other thought is that he's bored. It doesn't mean that you have to play to his toon so to speak, just peak his independence...have play stations in the house or his room, blocks in one spot, books in the other, cars...try coloring or painting...I go upstair specifically when I see she is getting restless downstairs. I do laundry and clean while she plays in her room. (most of her toys are there as well) Also, when she is watching tv or a video I try to chime in when I notice something. It reforces things, like abc's or whatever. I try to get her out to play once a day, but it doesn't always happen. When that happens she is very whiny.
Anyway hope this is helpful. Jen

My 17 month old is like this too! All I can say is it will pass. Meeting that need will make it pass sooner. At least yours gave you the beginning, haha. Mine has been a hip slinger forever. Haha. She is not happy unless she is under my arm. I wear her mostly, but will have to give back carrying a try to see if I can get more done. If I am not here, she is fine. She will also play a bit with her siblings when they get home from school. But mostly, she is a momma's girl. What can I say. I accept this is what she needs and I do it. I guess having adult children gives me a perspective that makes it less an issue to deal with. Oh, I still go insane sometimes and just put her down for a few minutes even if she isn't happy, but I also really do know that in the end, she will be all grown up and won't let me hug her or cuddle her up and so I suck up this time and try to see the bigger picture on those days I feel overwhelmed with her intense need for me. I remember how fast this goes. I think if she was my first I would go nuts because I would not know that this passes and it never comes back. Knowing the reality is that in a blink she will ask for the keys and before I know it she will visit on holidays....so, I hold onto her and let her climb up my side and wiggle in my arms. She does dishes beside me and clings to me while I fold clothes. She crawls up my back at the dinner table. Some days I am only human and beg for my space....but mostly I smile and enjoy being her tree.

The very important thing is to remain consistent. You say no to him and hold to your word . If you see the whining and yelling getting louder then it may be time to start teaching the concept of time out. You explain to him that we can not all get what we want when we want it and then sit him down. You have to be strong the first couple of times he may get even more upset and have a bigger fit but you have to hold it together and remember that although it feels like forever he can not have a fit forever. Eventually he will get the point and the fits will be less until one day they are gone all together. Also it sounds to me like your 13 month old is going through a phase. This is perfectly normal . He misses you and wants your attention even if it means that you just hold him while washing dishes. However you cant give into to this all the time because he will turn it into to a pattern . What will happen when you have a 3 - 4 year old on your hip all day. Trust me not fun. My daughter went throught the same thing and sometimes I would carry her nurture her and caress her. Other times I would explain to her honey mommy has to clean up now so I can not carry you . She would have a fit I would ignore it and within minutes she would realize her fit wasnt working and she would go entertain herself with the tv NOGGIN channel (love it) or with her toys. Good luck. In the end everyone finds the solutions that best suites them and there situation. After all every child is different. But maybe my method just might work for you.

And as far as time with your baby and them growing up and not paying any attention to you around 3 or 4 thats so not true. My 4 year old to this day caresses my face devoures me with kisses and tells me on a consent bases mommy I love you. Sometimes we even have an Ilove you contest of I love you more than the stars and then hell say well I love you more than a cow. Its very fun.

A.,
when he's wining i agree dont give in but for the long time i had three ages 18months, 2 years, and 3years and i couldnt let them all help so what i would do is either put a show on that they liked or i would set them all down with crayons,markers and papper, coloring books and let them all draw while i was doing dishes or other thing and tell them you all sit here and color and when i'm done we will all play together and it worked(first few times were hard) for you try putting him in his high chair and give him some crayons or something fun for him to do while you doing something good luck and i hope you find something that works H.

My son went through that as well, it lasted about a month. All of a sudden Mr. Independent became very clingy and whiny. He would thrash around on the floor if he wasn't picked up or would carry on and cry if I left the room. It luckily didn't last long and he went right back to being independent and okay with me being away from him. We did just walk by him and let him throw his fits (even though it was hard) and I kept on leaving the room, and of course going to work etc. Eventually he either just grew out of it, or learned the whining and fits weren't going to work. Me: 35, married 4 years, full time teacher and mom of a 17 month old. Good luck!

Hi A.,
It sounds like your son has a bad case of "mommyitus". My son is now 23 mnths old and occasionally gets a case (aka-at least once a day) It passes and gets better as they get older. On one hand I love being his favorite person in the whole wide world, but then on the other hand I am one who likes my own company and crave alone time occasionally. That being said, when he needs attention give it to him, however there are times when you are busy (cooking dinner, shower, ect) and you have to do what you have to do. Try to find something that grabs his attn. For me it was ELMO. That's right, I'm guilty of busting out Elmo, popping him into the DVD player and I'm good to go for about 30 min. Theres also letting him be part of what you do, sometimes if I'm not dealing with sharp knives I'll prop him up on the kitchen counter and let him play and help me with the business of making a meal. Also let him make a mess occasionally, I let him get into the pots and pans, again another 30 min easy:) Best of luck, I hope this helps some, But yes he's normal, and no your not alone:)

Put him up on a chair or stool and let him help you. Just don't leave him alone! They even make somekind of stool that they are surrounded on all sides. I can't recall the name.

My son loves to "help" mom. :)

Here I found it! http://store.platinumgalleria.com/little-partners-the-lea...

I know it's a bit pricey but IMO it is worth it and can be used for years.

I have 3 children that all had that same problem..... set aside about 30 minutes twice a day that you give to him ONLY. Any other time he asks for your attention address the "problem (thirsty, hungry, boo boo or any other attention getter)and then move on... you have to deal with the wining for a little while but he'll come around. DO NOT let the wining GET your attention, ignor it. DO let smiles and hugs get your attention though

Try setting a timer for 5 minutes, and sit down and get him started playing with something with 100% of your focus. When the timer goes off, get up and do something else. When he starts to whine, tell him you'll sit with him again in a few minutes.

When he whines, don't ever give in. Children are like gamblers - if they get the payoff (your attention) even just 10% of the time, they will gamble and gamble again. If they never ever get the payoff, then the whining will stop. As incentive, know that it will only get HARDER if you give in now.

Also try praising him when he is playing by himself - be specific - "I really like how you are playing with your blocks by yourself, it's such a big help to me when you play nicely with your toys"

HTH!

Hi A.,
I just read your email and the one under it was saying the same about her child - that is because I think this is normal behavior. I have three boys - my last one is 18 months and they all do the same things at that age. That is why so many woman complain that they can't take a shower or get anything done! :) Your child most likely knows exactly what he wants but doesn't have the language neccessary to get you to understand him. Don't worry about giving in to him - you have time to get things done if you wait until he takes a nap. Slow down a bit, your baby needs you and is frustrated. Try to understand him and stop and ask him what he wants... provide him with toys, but also play with him. He learns so much from you and he also learns how to handle stress from you. Don't sweat the small stuff and remember they grow up so fast - this will pass. Oh and I always love to use Parent Center.com for advise- they have expert advice and articles written by Dr. Sears and others (excellent advice on behavior and anything else you need to know).
Take care,
C.

I really like what Pam wrote!
yes, give in, time flies- my now 3 & 1/2 year old has times (a lot it seems) where he doesn't even want to kiss me/get a kiss...and this was a baby who demanded me a LOT!
so give babywearing a try :-)
on your back in a MT (this is just one brand- there are so many more- www.kozycarrier.com )and here is a south Fl mama who sells other kinds of carriers for the back/front, etc, she is great! http://www.sobebabies.com/shop/index.php?main_page=page_2

I also agree w/ little activities to keep him busy - like I have a 'special' set of dinosaur magnets that I put away & bring out when I'm trying ot get something done in the kitchen- bcse they only come out sometimes, they are special & grab the kiddo''s attention :-)

hang in there, it goes soooo fast...
~L.

Maybe he is having some separation anxiety. I would put him in the pack-n-play with some toys where he can still see you. That way you know that he is in a safe place so even if he cries a little while you don't have to run to him right away. Good luck!

pick him up for just a couple of min's. try using a kitchen timer, you know the ones that have the little dial that turns as the time counts down. set it for 2 min's of hold time and then he knows that it is over when the bell goes off. or even reverse it. when it goes off after whatever time you set that is his hold time for mommy time. good luck but dont give in just because he is crying and upsetting them. when they say something about him getting on their nerves ask them what are they doing to help the situation? that should get them off your back a little bit. good luck
B. sahm 10,3,twin 2's