Decipline for My Active 14 1/2 Mth Old

Hi,

I to have a 14 month old son to he to can be a little monster. He to runs around and falls and continues to do so no matter what. But, what you have to remember is they are feeling they have freedom now because they can move about on there own. Also they are starting to see what they can and can not do so they well do things to try and see if they can. You can say No to them but for the most they have no idea what you mean but if you say it with a look of stern they tend to notice you are not happy and sooner or later they well catch on. Some kids just go through there terrible two's sooner then others. Anyways that is my opinion. But, I agree they can be a such a handful.. My right now mine throws himself backwards if he thinks he wants something. And if you take something away from in the store he can be very embrassing by screaming and throwing his head back. But, hey hopefully they well soon be done with it.. lol.. GOOD LUCK
K.

Oh MY GOSH!!!

I am not the only one! haha. My daughter started her terrible two's when she was about your daughters age. I think it is great that you daughter is showing such strong character at such a young age, it shows how she will handle life in the coming years. BUT bad behavior at any age cannot be tolerated. So what I suggest, is to try to spend more quality time with her like the person below suggested and try to find a middle ground when at the store and out at restaurants by meeting her half way and keeping her occupied with crayons and such. But when it comes time to discipline you need to show her that you are the boss! I found the best way was to put her in a time out. Now at 14 months it will be very difficult to make her stay put so, what I did was I strapped my daughter into our extra car seat that we have for when we travel. She absolutely hated being in it because it restricted her from what she wanted to do, but it was a safe place to keep her put. Now I am not cruel and she was only in it for a brief period. She would cry and scream to let her out, then about 4 - 5 mins later she would be calm and ask to get out. At that point I sat down on the floor directly in front of her and spoke to her in a calm but authoritative voice telling her the way she was behaving was not going to be tolerated and she needed to listen to me when I tell her no. Altogether I had her in the chair maybe 5 times before all I had to do was threaten, "Do you need to sit in the chair for a time out?" and she would reply "no" then again I would speak to her face to face and tell her what she was doing would not be tolerated and she needed to listen. I think it worked out pretty well. She is now 2.5 and understands when I reprimand her and usually says she is sorry almost immediately. And now when she acts up by throwing her toys or banging on the tv with something, I take away the toy or object she is doing the damage with and give it back to her a few days later. If you do not have an extra car seat you may want to try a high chair and you sit behind her so she cannot see you but you are there to protect her if she tries to get out.

I know a lot of people may think the chair idea is a cruel torture device but it isn't. It isn't going to be one of those things that stares at her threatening her to be good. I put her in it quite frequently when she is in a calm mood and put the tv on for her when we are alone so I can run and get the laundry out or go into the kitchen and prepare something which may take awhile and I want to be absolutly sure she is safe and not climbing the entertainment center, etc. and she doesn't get upset at all when I strap her in for that.

Hi
I have worked with children for 18 years and your daughter is acting out normal behavior for her age. Just remember to disipline for behavior that is not appropriate. Licking the table is not acceptable. For one she is licking germs and putting them on the table too. she sounds like a great little girl. She is discovering a whole new world now that she is on her feet and running. Enjoy her now cause they grow up fast.
J. K

No oneis ever too young for discipline. At least in my opinion. It will require some effort from you but you can set her in chair, her back facing away from you. You can either sit across the room, or sit in back of her. When you place her in the chair, tell her she has to sit still for 1 minute and set the timer for her. After one minute she can get up and go play. She will learn her boundaries that way. Now spanking is a touchy subject with some people, but not with me. When my son, who is now 11 would have pulled down the dvd, I would have hit his bottom with my open hand lightly, just enough to get the point across, right below the diaper so that she can feel it. I would have done this because that could be dangerous for her. I would try the time out I discribed for lesser offenses, and ones that could not hurt her. As for running through shops and licking tables in restuarants, she is exploring her boundaries. She wants to see the limits you have set for her. If you are dining with a friend, excuse yourself for about 5 minutes, take her out to the car and give her time out. I know that it sounds unrealistic, but you tell her you are going to do that very thing, and she countinues to do that, then follow through after the third time of telling her. After a few times of this, she will get the picture. This method will work in the store as well. I had a hard time disipling my first born too. He was a good boy and he was very meticulus about his apperance. He still is. I understand the hard time you have with your daughter.

Hi N.,
I would suggest looking at some books/websites for some positive discipline ideas. One of the BEST parenting books on the market (in my opinion) is "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" by Faber/Mazlish. It talks about discipline (among other things) that doesn't damage a child's self-esteem. Your daughter is still really young, but I bet there's something helpful in there. I've read it twice and use it all the time with kids I work with. Websites like www.kidshealth.org (I think that's the site, you might have to google it) or the Center for Effective Parenting (www.parenting-ed.org) have some great info too. Kids Health in particular should have age specific information. I hope that helps!

I would offer some park time with you when you can, sounds like she has a lot of energy and probebly needs play time with you.
The park for me and my child have been a great way for us to be one on one with each other with out me thinking of things that I need to take care of.
Help her with the slide, swing her, play a game of chase, kick a ball etc...spend a little extra time together.
That way her meter gets filled by mom and she lets go of some of that extra energy.
I have seen parents very frustrated with their little ones and it breaks my heart to see the anger. Give her a bribe, a lolly pop or have her hold something she is interested in the store. Keep her in the stroller when you are shopping while she holds things. You can always put the items back where they go before you leave the store. ( I did these things )
When you go to the restaurant bring a toy that she doesn't see often and place her in the inside of the booth and just let her play, you could bring her a lolly pop for that too, to keep her from licking the tables.
I know your schedule is very busy, give you and her a set time of at least 15 minutes of one on one each day.
Now is a good time to catch her with good behavior, little ones love validation for good things!
good luck.

Dear N.,

Well, the first thing I want to tell you is that your daughter sounds like my two great grandchildren. I think that it is funny when they do something really bad and then run off. But I guess that parents have a different view of that. My advice to you is to say NO! and then run toward her as fast as you can and take her physically away from whatever it is. Don't take her into stores, except for the stroller. If she cries, then take her out of the store.

Just don't let her get the upper hand, you are bigger and smarter, out smart her. ....and stay on your toes. Please do not start the punishment type thing yet, except for the time out or staying in her room to cry. All will be well in a couple of years. Good Luck, C. N.

No child is too young to be disciplined. Early intervention is the key to many problems. Be firm. If she is doing things in public you dont like, remove her. Same with eating out. Yes it puts a damper into your schedule, but to be effective you have to be consistent.

N.,

A baby is never to young to have limits set. As soon as my son started scooting/rolling all over the floor, he started being taught the word "no." But "no" does nothing without an action. That action does not need to be a slap on the hand or thigh or rear, but it can be moving the child across the room away from whatever the issue is. After a few times of moving, my son would normally throw a fit and just sit and cry. I would let him throw his tantrum alone for a few minutes. I didn't do it to let him cry, but because tantrums are not acceptable either. He is still young so a minute or two is long enough for "alone time" in a time-out or semi-time out time so I would go and comfort him after walking by him and getting out of sight for that moment or so. This was a hard thing to do, but it has really helped. Most times all I need to do is say something and he will stop. It usually takes a couple of times to get him to stop and go away from it, but that is an age related behavior that will change as he gets older.

In addition to trying a time-out situation and any other techniques you may decide to try, you need to be sure that whomever cares for your daughter is on the same page as you. If she is in daycare, and you can do this, try to stay one day and observe how she behave there and what the teachers do with bad behavior. If it is ignored and she runs wild the whole day, a change of daycare may be a big help. If she is with grandparents, make sure you speak with them about what you are trying to accomplish and encourage them to continue about things the same way you are (so she gets consistency) for the time being and then they can adapt to the ways they prefer as she gets older and can understand the differences are OK, but she has to listen no matter what. Be sure to come about the issue without seeming like they don't discipline at all because they will definitely get their feelings hurt, but do come about it in a self-directed way so that they feel like they are helping you.

Take care, and remember, as my mom said, "I'm bigger and smarter and if it comes right down to it, I can just sit on them!" FYI,she never had to. ;-)

M. M.

Hi N.,

I have the same problem with my daughter, but what I find that helps when she does something bad is putting her in her playpen for a couple of minutes till she calms down. Like a baby time out.

Hello N.,

I think the most important thing is to remove the items from your childs reach that she shouldnt be getting into. That removes a dangerous incident from happening and it also limits the times you'll have to say "No" or discipline your child. In grocery stores put her in the cart or stroller and strap her in and at restuarants bring sanitizing wipes and clean the table so if she chooses to lick it she wont be licking bacteria.

As for discipline, I don't think she is too young to be corrected with a stern "No" and a serious,stern look. The best thing is to remove and limit the things that will tempt her to do wrong. The thing to remember is that you are the one in charge and children need and desire rules and restrictions in their lives.

Good luck & Best wishes,
D.

I have similar problems with my son who is the same age. I appreciate and love his curiosity about the world, but have had to set limits to keep him safe. Unfortunately he hears the word NO alot during the course of the day, but after the third NO I ask if he wants to spend time in his crib. If his behavior continues after I ask, I count to three. After counting to three if he is still at it I put him in his porta-crib for a few minutes as a time out. We have been doing this for about a month now and he seems to understand, because usually I just ask if needs a time out in his crib and the behavior stops. It doesn't work EVERY time but it does work. As for acting out in public, I'm sorry I don't have much experience with that problem. We bought a really cute harness that looks like a teddybear backpack for when we go to the store or park because he had a tendency to run off. Just remember that she is still discovering the world around her and she is doing it in her own way. Good Luck!!

She needs to learn NOW who is boss or you will have a monster on your hands. I have 3 wonderful children and I started correcting them the moment I knew they could understand. Spanks on the hand when they touch something they shouldn't. Spanking on the butt when they continue or don't mind. I always do the 1, 2, 3 then consequence. You have to commit to what you say. Now is not the time to take a baby to a restaurant. You can't expect a child of her age to sit still that long. In a store, she should be in a cart or stroller. My son is almost 4 and he is to stay in the cart. It is for his own safety. I know I hate going to the store and having kids running around, getting in adult's way. Parents now a days seem to be afraid to discipline. It is our responsibility to teach our children how to behave. They need to learn their boundaries. Your daughter is not too young to be sent to her room or have something taken away from her. If you don't nip it now, she is going to run your life and be an out of control teenager. I disciplined my kids the first few years of their lives and they learned the rules. I have great kids with manners. I can take them anywhere and know they will behave. I talk to them the way I want them to talk to others, with respect and compassion. My 9 and 11 year old girls never get grounded or need anything more than a look or short talk to get them to remember what is appropriate.

Please, for the sake of your daughter, yourself, and the sanity of others, make your daughter an enjoyable edition to this world.