Dealing with Separation While on Vacation...

I travel for work and have learned a couple valuable lessons.
First, be honest with them about what's going to happen. This is where you're going, who you'll be staying wtih, etc. I took my son outside one afternoon and showed him an airplane up in the sky - and told him that mommy would be getting on one and going away for a while. Especially for the youngest, keep the element of surprise out of it - and build up any differences. IE: My sister in law has to take my 4 year old to daycare in teh mornings when I'm out of town - so we get him excited about that.
Second - emphasise the positives - IE: You are going to have so much fun when it's just you & daddy! Encourage daddy (or whoever will be watching the kids) to do something fun with the kids so they can have a great story to share with you too!
Third - DO NOT call at bedtime. Bedtime = Tired Kids = EMOTIONS. My son would be just fine if I called right after daycare - maybe just before dinner time. If I forgot and didnt call until bed time - it was not pretty.
Lastly - Get regular updates from whoever has them - if they did something great while you were gone (helped daddy clean up the house, helped Grandma fold laundry, etc) bring a small "treat" from where you are. A little stuffed palm tree from the airport or something goofy - so that you can show them how proud you are of what a great job they did (and cite the example).

I've travelled since my son was about 18 months old - and he's just fine - as yours will be. However, if it is the first time away, be prepared for a few "I want to talk to mommy!' phone calls. Good luck, and ENJOY YOUR VACATION!!!

I know it is hard to leave little ones at home.
With all the great technolgy today it should be easy to make them and you feel better about this. Try and taping some stories for them to be played at naptime or bedtime, or just something you do that is special to all of you. Also with webcam and a mic. it is a breeze to see and talk to them and them to you. Kids love getting mail even that young so befour you leave write some postcards and have someone send them out from your hometown,( i say this as it takes longer to arrive from out of town) and they won't know the difference.

If you can set up a couple of special things for the two left at home that should help them focus on that. Once you are gone they will most likely adapt very quickly. You are very right about not taking them to Disney World. They are too young to remember it. It soulds like you have a perfect opportunity to take a vacation and with a little planning I suspect that it will go just fine. I am a Grandma and remember leaving my two when they were about that age and they hardly noticed that I was gone. Good luck

J. N

I think it is great that you will be getting some alone time and some one-on-one time with your oldest son. Two weeks is a long time, but everyone needs a little time away.

My pastor advises parents to get at least one whole week away from home and kids to re-connect with each other each year, so my DH and I usually go hunting together on North Manitou Island in late October. It is a great hiking trip with rough backpacking and camping. Not too expensive and very few people to see and interact with.

A great way to keep in touch with your little ones is to write short letters and post cards. Even though they can't read, they would love to get personalized letters (one for each child) from you and post cards with pictures of where you are or have been.

Getting mail is very exciting for children, especially when it comes from a relative. By keeping in touch with phone calls and mail it may help with the excitement and separation.

Good luck!

Make staying home fun for them. I have to travel some for work and occassionaly my husband goes with me. While I've never been away for more than 5 days, my son goes to "camp" with his grandparetns and barely wants to talk to me when I call. It is definatley harder on you.

Have activities planned. I'm assuming your two little ones are staying with their dad? My husband and I returned from our vacation last month. We were gone away from our 2-1/2 year old son for one week (the first time we've ever left him alone with grandma and grandpa) who live 3 hours away. He did fine. Grandma and Grandpa kept him busy with activities like coloring, puzzles, the piano, walks, shopping, reading time, and tv time. I brought along his favorite blanket, pillow, toys, clothes, dvd's and other cherisables. A couple of times when we called, he was so busy he didn't want to talk to us. I would not call every day--that may cause a distraction. Call every other day or two and have the kids call you if they really miss you. As far as taking your older son to Disney, I would tell the little ones that he was a good boy and got to go somewhere special for being good. Surprisingly, we missed our son more than he missed us when we went away.

Relax and have fun on your vacation. You deserve it!

MC

Hi D.! GOOD for you on taking a well deserved vacation!! I don't know if this suggestion will help but here it is ...

when my parents would travel here & there when my younger brother and i were younger, they (well, my mom) would leave one special surprise for us for the end of each day. it could be as small as a cool sucker that lit up or spun around. little stuff from the dollar store - just one item each day. at the end of each day we'd get a "surprise" wrapped in just tissue paper w/ a special note from our parents. we looked forward to it each day. also, if it was possible, they'd call to tell us good night or good morning & ask about what we did.

i don't know what to tell you about big brother getting to go & not them ... maybe that they'll have a special one on one trip when they get to be his age.

hope this helped a little!

good luck & ENJOY!!
~T. c

I don't think the separation will be a problem. I did it the first time for 5 days when my daughter was 2, she stayed with my mother. It was way worse for me than her. The vacation itself though, we went to Disney when my daughter was three, she is almost 6 now and remembers every detail of the 10 days we spent there. She had such a great time, and still shows the pictures and explains each one to everyone she can. I hope you have as good of a time as we did, but I feel sorry for the ones left at home.
K. J

Hi D.,
Have a blast on your vacation, don't stress about it. Its sounds like it is well deserved. My suggestion would be to write a little note for each child for every night you'll be gone, something simple whatever you want. Then have who they are staying with read it to them before bed, and ofcourse a postcard or two for each one. Good luck!!

And if you have cpts in both locations....... SKYPE them. It does require a webcam on both side, but they will be able to SEE you and hear you. That's how we stay in touch with both sets of grandparents, and Caroline (16 months) interacts really well.

if each of your locations has a computer and web cam, you can sign up for free service skype. you'll be able to talk and see each other for free!!! My husbnad took our 2.5 year old to Lithuania for 1 month last summer and I missed the heck out of them, but the skype made it bearable.
good luck,

You don't say who will care for your children while you are gone, but this is a very long time to be away from such young ones. I wouldn't leave a 3 yr old for more than a weekend! Couldn't you take them? Even if they are with someone they're very close to, like Daddy, they are going to have a hard time and so are you. I think you should re-think this whole thing. What is this going to do to your little ones? Could you drive with another adult to save money?
Are you actually planning to leave these little ones for 2 weeks? I was thinking a week was way too long but in re-reading your letter, it looks like 2 weeks. I don't think it's a good idea at all! G. B. (Grandma of 17)

I wouldn't worry about them too much. They'll probably do much better than you could possibly imagine. When they see you they'll probably be overwhelmed with emotion because it will be at that time that the realize how much they missed you.