Daycare Problems??? Plz Help!

I worked in the childcare for 10 years and most kids did it for there parents benifit and stopped less than 3 minutes after they left. Just reinforce that you love him and that you will be back as soon as possible.

He's turning into a replica of his father. Don't put up with it.

Hug him, tell him you love him, tell him you'll be back to get him after work, then leave. Otherwise you are teaching him that crying makes mommy do what he wants.

Is it possible for your husband to drop off? He will probably skip right on in if you are not there. My daughter cried for a solid year everytime I dropped her off at preschool. the next year, she cried only for 2 weeks, but our "goodbye routine" was very long and involved. When it was time to go to kindergarten, however, she was ready and barely said goodbye to me. All I can say is, it will get better. I know it is hard. What do his teachers say about the rest of his day? Is he engaged and participating? Many kids are like this, yours is not the only one. Even though I didn't do this, try and get outta there as soon as you can, because he probably stops crying as soon as you are out of earshot. Make up some excuse "mommy has to go to XXX and I can't be late, so it will be a quick dropoff today" and then split. Ask the teachers for advice, too. Good luck, I know how hard it can be.

Crying and wanting you to stay is his way of appreciating you. He loves his mommy and doesn't want to be separated from you. When you drop him off hug and kiss him, tell him where you will pick him up... "I'll meet you at the goodbye-gate with the biggest hugs and kisses for you." Remind him that he is safe with his care-taker/teacher and that he should have a really good time with his friends. You can also pack a special note in his lunch that can be read to him at lunch time telling him how much you love him. He may be your oldest, but he is still a very young child. He needs to feel reassured of your love, your routine, his safety. Best of luck, Mama.

Reading all of your posts today, it is clear you have a lot going in your home. It seems your entire family is struggling in one way or another. Things to consider: How do I really want my day to flow? What is my schedule? What needs to be done each day/week? What can I do myself? What do I need help with? Who can help me? How do I get help from others around me? HOW DO I MAKE THIS A GREAT DAY FOR MY FAMILY & FOR ME? HOW DO I MAKE OUR HOME A PEACEFUL, NURTURING PLACE FOR MY FAMILY & FOR ME? Those 2 are the key questions. Your husband: he does need reassurance. He can sense the way you feel toward him and that isn't encouraging him to take out the trash. What happens when you sit and talk with your husband about his day and what is bothering him? Do you do that? Do you sit and listen to what he has to say without defending your actions or your behavior? Just listen. Once he feels a little more support from you, he might start opening up and you can really get to the root of his troubles. It's not about being asked to take out the trash, believe me. I also agree he needs a full physical just to make sure everything is ok. AS DO YOU! Daycare & your 4 year old: talk to your daycare provider & see how the day goes for him - his behavior, his interactions with her & the other children. I have my own daycare/preschool in my home & it is soooo common for the crying to happen & then stop before the mom is even out of the neighborhood and the rest of the day is just fine. I always text or email the parent to let her know the crying has stopped so the mom can feel better at work, knowing her child is playing & having a great morning. I suggest you read How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & How To Listen So Kids Will Talk. I give this book to all my families when they join my daycare. It has great solutions and guidance techniques. They apply not only to your little ones, but also to adult situations. It is all about how we treat others & how we allow them to treat us. Tonight, when your husband comes home, how about all of you sit on the floor and play with some blocks or cards or cars or something that you can all do together. Focus on the fun you are all having together and not how long it is going to take you to clean it up! Yes, it does sound like I am telling you that YOU have to make it all better, when all you want is help...I am telling you that. Your family is in turmoil & your husband does not know what to do. Instead of helping him understand your day and your needs, show him you are trying to understand his day & his needs. You will be setting the example of how you want him to treat you & most likely, he will learn from what you are doing and start treating you differently. Again, your situation is not about who takes out the trash - it is about 2 people feeling unappreciated, unsupported, etc. Find out what your husband needs/wants and share your needs/wants. That is a great starting point. I wish you peace & patience! B.

I know you also posted about having marital problems with your husband. The demands of being a mom to 3 kids under 4 years old, having to work, and being a wife is difficult. It sounds like there is a lot of turmoil in your life and you're emotionally spent. As I replied in your other post, I recommend counseling so you can find ways to work through all the demands and responsibilities of your life. You have a lot on your shoulders!!! And, stop nagging your husband for everything he's doing wrong. He needs validation as I'm sure he feels the pressures as well.

All kids cry the first few weeks. You have to leave fast. But I'd also make some surprise visits to the daycare and make sure they are treatiing him right. You might need to switch him out.

Hello, I am the parent of four grown kids. I have 6 grandkids. When my kids were small, I ran a licensed daycare from my home. When the last one got into school, I worked in the elementary school and did the daycare before and after school, as well as fulltime during school breaks. I had children who had been with me for a long time who went through times where they would cry when they were dropped off. It is normal to want Mommy and Daddy to be with them. However, if you give him a lot of attention on this, he will continue it longer. What I noticed was that as soon as the parent left, the child was just fine. I had the same problem with a couple of my own kids when I would drop them off at their classrooms. I had to just tell them that they would be fine and leave. Sometimes I would end up crying when I left them, but never in front of them. They all got over it okay. If your son is complaining about situations at his daycare, then I would address them. But, if he just wants you, I would just tell him that I have to go to work to help pay for the family's food and home and his toys. I would tell him that I love him and will be back at 4:00 (or whatever time you pick him up) and show him on the clock what it will look like. Then I would leave.
Good luck with your precious son.
K. K.

I would not b so quick to blame the father. You should not battle with a 4 years old, you are the parent you are the one who is uppose to be in charge, if he pushes things so much it's because you are allwing him to instead of discipling him when the pushing first. My husband was in the military and he missed alot when the kids were little and it didn't create behavior problems, it sounds to me that your son is undisciplined. Sorry but that is what I see in yor post, it's so easy to blame someone especially the dad if you are the mom and the mom ifm you are the dad, they ket is to work together you made this child together, so work together have rules and use discipline when those ruls are broken. J.