Daughter Invited to Birthday of a Preschool Friend

R.,

Go to the party! Your daughter will have fun, and chances are good for you to make some new friends. Who cares if the people are rich? They have personalities, too. They are human. They have extended an invitation which you can graciously accept. Have fun. You sound really nice, and if the host Mom has invited kids to a party, she is probably fairly outgoing. Trust me, talkers need listeners. Just by having kids the same age, you have something in common. This is a great opportunity for you, because at little kid parties, at least one of the parents is expected to stay with the child. The focus is all on the kids, their activities, their food, their needs, with a quick chance for a snippet of conversation here and there. No pressure on you. And you can always talk about your daughter instead of yourself. I look forward to a full report after the event!
Best Wishes,
K.

This is a wonderful opportunity for both your daughter and you to get to meet new people!
Go ahead an take her, if you start feeling uncomfortable you can always leave the party early.

Have fun,
M.

You're going to have to get your nerve up and take her to that party. My mother use to be the way you described yourself and she didn't make the effort for us and it hurt us and it wasn't fair. I'm glad it sounds like you're going to do what's right for your daughter - kudo's to you!
My kids went to a private school where most of the parents were better off, but I went to every party that came down the pike and threw birthdays parties every year for my own and everyone came to those. Just relax and you'll get to know the other mom's and probably end up having a great time, too.

R.,
My mom was exactly like you and because of it, we never went to social events. I really suffered from this! Your daughter will respect you so much for going, even if she doesn't realize it now! It is wonderful that you understand that perhaps your personality (and it's not a bad thing) may interfere in your daughters future. I am so proud of you for looking at the big picture.
As for the "neighborhood." WHO CARES! Just be thankful your daughter was invited to a party! She will have so much fun. Just take a deep breath and know that you and your daughter deserve to be there as much as anyone else!
Have a blast!

If the little girl invited all the kids from pre-school or even just all the girls, then I don’t think you need to go if you are uncomfortable. If she only picked a few special friends from pre-school to invite, you should try to go.

I think it is good to get to now who your child’s friends are, so you have more to talk about with them. And you do have a lot in common with this child’s parents, you have kids the same age, that go to the same school, probably like the same things and probably do the same annoying things (like not want to go to bed, won’t eat vegetables, what ever).

It may be a little strange at first, but you will not be alone, you will have your daughter with you, and no harm can come from learning more about the kids she spends time with everyday.

My son recently insisted on inviting a little girl he adores from pre-school to our Halloween party. I am so glad her mom brought her, it gave me a chance to see the two kids play, learn a little about her, and her family. Turns out they both have little sisters the same age also.

Hello.. Im sure it is hard to be around strangers if you are shy. But, if they invited your child to the party, then they are trying to extend thier hand to become friends. I would go. Thier child obviously enjoys the company of your daughter. You could be surprised, you may really enjoy yourself, and your daughter could form a friendship with this little girl that lasts a whole lifetime. My mom has always been pretty friendly, and outgoing, and some of the friendships my mom helped me establish as a child, are still my friends today, and i am 32. I laugh with some of my friends, we have been friends over 20 years. I hope I can help my children form those same kinds of friendships. Let us know what you decide.

R.,

Here's a good chance for you to get to know some of the parents and allow your daughter the opportunity to be sociable. I'm sure the parents won't mind if you stay and extra hands with little ones are always appreciated. With kids, there's always lots of opportunities for ice-breakers. And as for their address, who cares? As I tell my kids, people come in all different shapes, sizes, colors and from different zip codes. There's always going to be someone out there who makes more or has more than you. And besides, those people probably have their own insecurities. Even if you're scared, put on a brave face and step up your confidence.

Teaching your daughter the beauty of how to interact with people is a priceless gift. You can do it!

R.,

Just go! Most of the others probably don't know each other either. You'll have plenty to talk about--your kids!

Remember, it's probably more important for the mother of the party girl to have you there than for you. Think of how you would feel if none of the mothers came to a party that you had for your daughter.

It'll only hurt for a minute! :) Once you get in there, I'm sure it will be fine. It means a lot to your daughter and her friend.

Good luck!

As a mother who threw a preschool party, i say...GO! The birthday girls mother may be trying to get over her own insecurities and doesn't want her child to develop shyness either. If noone shows up to the party, the birthday girl may feel really bad. You could also end up making some friends with the other parents. Good Luck.

I am also shy around people I don't know, but I applaud you for not wanting your daughter to do without. I would take her and see if maybe you can get your husband to go, if even for a little bit so you don't feel so uncomfortable. If not, go, and just think about how happy your daughter will be. Just because they may appear to have money doesn't mean they are going to look down on you and treat you any differently. As a child, I grew up with very wealthy parents. I can tell you from my point of view, I was the one who was always embarrassed. I was always afraid people would look at me like I was some rich brat, which was just the opposite. I had friends who had less than me and I always felt uncomfortable bringing them over because I felt judged and I was constantly wondering if they were just using me. Just because my family had money, we definitely had problems and I would have given anything to have had a stable, loving upbringing versus having a big house. So, trust me, it goes both ways and you and your daughter will feel so much better going to the party.

I would take her! Call ahead and ask what the child likes and what not or needs. Usually a parent says oh whatever you want, so I usually get a gift card to walmart or toys r us!

Just stay there with her and smile at anyone who looks at you! Dont be overly talkative but dont be rude by not saying a word to anyone! I know its hard, im the same way!! But thats what ive always done and it always worked out nicely. DOnt stay real long if you real uncomfortable but just say thanks and go about your way!

Hi R.,
How wonderful that she was invited to the party! This is the age when birthday parties start to happen. If you can go, you should definately take her. (Personally, I think it's to young to just drop her off.) Your girls will, for the rest of your life now, take you outside of your personal comfort zone and stretch you to grow along with them. Look at it as a wonderful gift they are going to give you! And the party will probably only last about 1 1/2 hours. It's an important step (for you and her) that will be over before you know it.

You do it for her and you will get a lot out of it, too!

Good luck and try to Have Fun!
-S.

I just threw a birthday party for my son who is now 4. I invited all the children from his class and didn't know a lot of the parents. He was so excited about all his school friends coming and they all had a blast. Some of the parents stayed and some didn't, but I made a new friend during the party and my son had a wonderful time. If you plan on living in the same area for a while, chances are you're going to run into the same parents throughout your child's school years, so it doesn't hurt to try and get to know them! Good Luck and have fun!

I think you need to put this in perspective. It's about the kids, not about the parents. Probably everyone was invited and your child spends a lot of time with the other kids at school. I would suck it up, take her and bring a little gift (a playdough set is always good at this age). You never know... you might even enjoy it once you are there!

Considering the fact that you are shy, I would let her go. this way you will get a chance to meet and interact with the other moms. I am also sure that your daughter will have a good time. Also she is probably nagging you about going. If shes anything like my three year old, she don't forget much of anything when it involves her. So bottom line, I say go and have a good time.

I think you've answered your own question. You want your daughter to be more outgoing than you are, and you want her to go to the party with her friends. Take her to the party. It will probably be a good experience for both of you.