Daughter About to Get Drivers License

Hi C.,

Been there a couple of times with my own daughters. And yes, I put additional restrictions on their driving. Not so much because I did not trust them. I didn't trust the other 2 million drivers in the bay area.....

1. I did not let them drive to school; this way no one could coax them into giving them a ride or going somewhere they should not have been.

2. No freeway driving unless I was in the car for the first year.

3. No night time driving on Friday or Saturday nights for the first year, unless I was in the car. To and from work was fine.

4. The cell phone had to be in the back seat with their purse to avoid the temptation of answering it.

5. No friends in the car for the first year. We had to focus on developing good driving habits.

6. Once they were allowed to transport passengers they had to call and ask if it was okay as well as provide me with their names and their parents phone numbers. Not all friends were allowed to "ride".

Lastly, I signed up at Tell-My-Mom

(http://www.tell-my-mom.com/Hows-my-driving.htm).

For about $50 a year you can register up to two vehicles and get a bumper stickers with an 800# that allows other drivers to contact you and report any negative driving behavior.

It's a wonderful deterrent ;-)

They complained about my addendum to the rules and tried to persuade me to change my mind citing the Cal Driver's Handbook...like that was gonna work on me. HA!

My house, my rules......either they agree to abide them or they'd have to wait until they were 18 to get their CDL and should they break a rule I would take their license, contact DMV a get it revoked until the age of 21 when I was no longer liable. They've been driving for several years now and both are excellent and safe drivers.

Good luck!!!
Connie

Hi C.,
personally I think the more restrictions you put on your daughter the more trouble she might get into. I think instead of giving her restrictions - try to work around it. Tell her that you like her to practice rush hour driving with you or your husband. Make it sound positive whatever you like to help her with. And practice parking, driving in the dark, during rush hour as well as highway it is importat that she gets confident in what she does.Good luck

I am not trying to scare you-I promise. I just wanted to say that make sure she has a lot of practice before she goes takes any passengers with her and make sure she knows how to drive with friends in the car. Teach her to respond to her friends without turning around and looking at them or looking at them etc. that is the biggest distraction. One more thing, make sure she is clear on the fact that the green light when turning left sometimes means that cars may turn in front of her first and then she can go when it is clear. That is not on the test. Two incidents happened:
I used to coach and one of my cheerleaders got in an accident because the other girls were in the car and they were all so excited about the game etc. and she got distracted.
Also, I was in a major accident in high school and my friend had just gotten her license the day before. She turned in front of a car as she was turning left and didn't realize that she did not have a green arrow, just a green light and that meant to pause and wait for it to be clear. It will just take supervised practice in different scenarios.
Good luck. My son is seven and I am not looking forward to being even more worried-smile!!

Good for you for having the sense to be the parent in your home and have rules like she has to tell/ask you before she goes anywhere. Now there is a car involved.

When my boys(now 25 & 27) started driving, they drove me everywhere that was possible so I could be with them. There was no highway driving until they had alot of practice and it started out in short incrememnts. I was with them again. Even though I had taken them on the highway beofre their test, it is still different when they are alone.

We started out with easy entrance and exit ramps and no rush hour unless on city streets - no highways.

It sounds like you have alot of common sense so trust your instincts and keep remembering that you are the parent and you make the rules. Way too many parents these days let their chidren make the rules.

Keep up the good work -

Blessings,
B.

Hi Clara,
I'm a family therapist who specializes in teens, and this comes up a lot. The parents I've worked with have more often focused on not driving under the influence, signing 'no blame contracts', etc. to be sure their kids won't feel the need to drive after drinking. Also, I believe there is a new 'no cell phone' law that took effect in June for teens and a 'no texting law' which will go into effect in January.

Hi. I had the usual requirement re:telling me where he. Was going and with whom. The best thing tho was that if he got a ticket or had an at-fault accident, he would be responsible for paying the increase in the insurance rate. He's been driving 3 years and no incidents. Good luck.

Some things to think about: restricted driving geography for the first couple of months (We live on the Peninsula and restricted our daughter to an area south of Hwy. 92 and north of Hwy 84 and east of the Santa Cruz mountains, west of the SF Bay) for the first 3 months. Like you plan to do, she has to tell us where she is going, but also call upon arrival. We also set up a driving contract that I found at an insurance company website - I think it was Allstate. It helps you to think through some possible scenarios and consequences that you both agree to up front - like consequences for a speeding ticket (besides paying the fine or going to traffic school), for example, or what to do in case of an accident. Another example, I came upon my daughter driving two of her friends 5 blocks to another friend's one day and she lost the use of the car for one week. This was something we had agreed to in our "contract" that we both signed before she got her license, so there was no question about the consequences when it occurred. She just handed me the keys.

Good luck!