Dance,nervous?please Help#2

As a dance teacher who danced my whole life, you just have to let her push through it. In the dance world, she will always have disappointments if she sticks through it. This will help her get stronger, work harder, and, decide how serious she is about it. The more you dance, the better you get. Her friend was in four dances, so, obviously she got more practice than your daughter who was in two dances. It is part of it. Good luck!

Your daughter is 11?

She can use this experience to strengthen her resolve.... and to just see it as an opportunity... to better herself and not compare herself to the others.
She can also try and talk with the Teacher... and discuss it & show maturity. But well, these things happens.

Maybe the others have been dancing longer than she has?
Has she attended all the rehearsals and lessons?
How is her attitude and "professionalism"?
She was in 2-3 dances, while the others were in 4.
Maybe her Teacher thinks she needs more performances under her belt...

It could be anything. You/she can always ask the Teacher, right?

My daughter takes Karate. She is 7. She is a 'white belt.' She has progressed very well. She has seen others in her rank, get another new 'belt color' before she did....and was in class with "Newbies" too. BUT, She does not take it personally... but tries her best, always and is very determined. The others that got another belt color ranking before she did, was not always 'better' than her... but had been taking Karate longer than she has... to a certain extent, the Teachers promote the kids to a higher belt color according to how long they have been in Karate and on the child's personal improvement and understanding of the movement forms... they do not promote a child just according whim or favoritism. For my daughter, she had to work on a particular movement... which she has. Just ONE certain aspect of her "kata" movements. Whereas the others that got promoted, did do that movement accurately. My daughter, used that "disappointment" to improve her resolve... and she plugged through it... knowing, that she was only getting better... and would be better in time.
She is now, going to be promoted to another belt color, today! She is PROUD. She stuck it out... even if her classmates went ahead of her in rank. She didn't let it 'hurt' her or make her give up. She KNOWS now, that she IS deserving of it. AND... her Teachers have given her accolades... and really 'respect' her resolve and the way she handled it. WHICH is what they look for... the 'character' of the child in how they approach their talent... and using it to make strides. Her Teachers, have given her compliments... on her ability, now... and she earned it. She knows that. She is very proud... for her, it is not about being in the same level as her friends/classmates... but on how SHE progresses, personally. That is what matters to her. And her Teachers take note of that.

Your daughter, is going to have to deal with it. It is all a part of 'becoming' better... and having dedication, to their chosen talent and endeavor.

all the best,
Susan

It's true what Mommy L. said. If she doesn't figure out now that there are going to be a lot of dissapointments now, then she might as well give up. I know so many actor and dancers (I was a theatre major before I got pregnant) that believed that they should have been given a better number or grade, even part. But it's not what they believe, it's what the teacher or judges think.

She was left back for a reason, and it may very well be to inspire the new batch of girls that are coming in (the instructors may have seen something in your daughters personality that made them know that she was the right one to have in classes with newer girls to motivate them). I would encourage your daughter to be a proud mentor to the new girls. Tell her to embrace it. What she does this season is the precursor to where she will be next season.

A., You seem to be as competative and insecure about your daughters dance situation as a teen. This is not about you but about your daughter, she has shown she has the ability , the talent, and the power to do the things that need done so let her enjoy the simple act of dance and her own performance.
Before it was the concern that someone was mean to your daughter-- and that was alot of one upmanship and power play that comes with the situation of competition.
Now she is proven she can do just fine and your concerned about a new set of girls.
Your daughter is upset becasue that is part of the age, and becasue it is her way of expressing herself. You need to be able to seperate yourself from it and to help her by being the adult and saying that she is not going tobe perfect at everything, appreciate what she has done and is doing and accept that about herself. She is going to learn from your cue and your reactions how to handle these situations in her entire life.
It might surprise her to learn that someone else feels she is doing the sme thing to another girl or boy. When Ms. C. Duane who was my daughters teacher and a perfect example of experiance and the love of dance, seperated girls into different groups we all learned that it may have nothing to do with skill but it may be that she is to help that younger group to become the best that they can be. Help your daughter to see that if she doesn't like it she can quit, she can change studio's, she can learn from this experiance and be the better person, not have the world set going around her.

I know it's hard to see your child upset, but she has to learn to deal with disappointment and you, likewise, need to learn to deal with her disappointments. You can't make them happy all the time and you can't fix everything for her. Life is not fair; the world is not fair. She needs to learn that now and it appears so do you. Don't get mad with her; tell her you're sorry it worked out this way, but she will get over it and life will go on and she will be happy again. Time heals all wounds!